Hearts

2012

2012-01-02T22:12:00.000-08:00

Aku rasa nak menaip. The thoughts of expressing everything in a blog was never a choice to begin with. Kenapa? The feeling of insecurity how the future might end or bend. Kadang kadang manusia banyak sangat fikir sampai it started to blur the right thing. Suddenly, you just blurt everything that wouldn't make sense at all. At the end it was a stupid idea.

Hari ini, aku rasa nak menaip tu membuak buak. Lebih lebih lagi bila aku tiba di Malaysia for the past 4 days. Empat hari yang panjang, macam macam aku dah lakukan. Dan macam drama Korea, penuh aksi, keganasan, tangisan, kesedihan, love scene. Kissing scene je takde. Bukan lah mengharap, I'm just saying. Haha

First thing first, is having a bestfriend. Again, I was expressing this thoughts i had when i was staying in Malaysia. Bagi aku having bestfriends is a wonderful gift. Susah senang, dieorang boleh dengar. Sakit hati boleh dengar. Sakit perut pun BOLEH. Apa ada hal, semua orang keluar tinja, pelbagai rupa.

Aku rasa nak blog dah lama dah. Tapi masih kaget nak menaip. Aku dulu bukan main isi keluar dari otak aku macam air kencing tak bertapis. Sekarang dah macam ada batu karang pula. Sungguh tak enak.

Zzz.

Aku dah malas menaip dah. Sekian

Insiden satu saat

2011-03-20T12:21:00.000-07:00

you can't see shit what's in front of you. this is based on my experience being a bad friend and a bad partner. in one second you thought you've seen everything but yet in one time you don't know what's happening. world keep on spinning like it always does. wait am I spinning?

kejadahnya pembuka bicara aku hari ini . aku ada mood nak menaip. ingin diberitahu laptop aku sudah sakit kerna diterajang oleh aku. lebih lebih lagi apabila dalam keadaan stress berkerja dengan manusia, melayan kerenah manusia dan membuat panggilan jauh dengan manusia tidak kira dimana jua. kesian lappy aku, aku hentak sepenuh hati seperti menari kontemporari. oh yeah aku ganas.

aku kan banyak bersabar, and the only way to channel those feeling is toward things that won't whine. I don't hit people and I don't hit animals. it's just wrong. so ita better hitting other things as in thing literally!

setiap pelajar medik tahun kedua ada kelas klinik. a clinical posting in the hospital. di situ kami belajar apa yang patut tahu bagi seorang NOOB tentang penyakit, kekurangan, kelebihan, dan symptom penyakit. sekarang aku tengah klinikal di bahagian OBG. antara posting menarik yang aku rasa dengan kehadiran bayi baru hampir setiap hari.

oh best nya. melihat seketul objek besar keluar dari kemaluan seorang wanita adalah sesuatu yang menyeronokkan. it's something different. the fact yang aku tahu objek tersebut bakal hidup, makan, bernafas seperti manusia lain dan bakal membawa nama ibu bapa ke persada dunia di masa hadapan.

buat aku teringat dekat mak aku. apa ingat senang untuk menjaga fetus menari cha cha dalam perut mak kau 9 bulan? belum campur mak kau kena makan banyak untuk kau, kena berpantang untuk kau, kena muntah muntah untuk kau. apa kau ingat senang? belum kira tahun yang selebihnya sampai kau akil baligh dan boleh menjaga diri sendiri.

sebagai seorang yang emo dan pemikir sejati, melihat kelahiran bayi walapun sesaat buat aku kagum dengan ciptaan Tuhan. objek yang kecil nampak tak best itu actually open his/her eyes. and started crying. showing the sign of life. the sign that the baby is gonna be okay. he/she is crying a sign of breathing.

oh happynya bila aku dengar bayi menangis. serius suspen bila bayi tanak nangis lepas keluar dari uterus ibunya itu. lepas tu doktor buat buat chuak sedut segala darah dan lochea di setiap rongga bayi agar pernafasan dapat dilakukan.

sesaat melihat insiden itu, buat aku berfikir. apakah bayi itu akan ingat how difficult it was when the mum was enchanting all the gods name *Hindu*. when the nurse actually like giving a CPR to the upper part of abdomen just to give the extra push for uterine contraction?

otak aku ligat berfikir sama ada bayi itu akan membalas segala penat lelah ibunya itu dengan belajar bersungguh sungguh? apakah bayi itu membawa ibubapanya suatu hari nanti ke luar negara untuk bersuka ria? apakah anak itu ingat akan ibunya bila Deepavali menjelma. apakah anak memeluk Islam
suatu hari nanti.

benda kecil kecil, tapi cukup serius. aku tak boleh lari dari berfikiran sebegini. aku risau melihat masa depan aku sebegini rupa. aku risau dengan kerileksan aku dalam hidup ini. masa depan aku mula pudar. apa yang aku inginkan mula pudar. apakah aku perlukan teman? perlukan kebahagiaan? atau teman dan kebahagiaan tidak sekali? bagaimana pula medik dan bahagia? sekali?

aku tahu hanya segelintir mereka yang dapat cantum dua elemen penting itu. medik dan bahagia. kahwin! pfft cakap senang tapi aku tak rasa aku boleh. hidup ni tak senang maybe sebab banyak halangan dalam hidup aku? mungkin tak ramai yang nak dekat aku? *fakta* mungkin aku tak dihargai? mungkin manusia sudah berubah? atau mungkin selama ini manusia materialistik. kalau kau miskin macam aku, welcome to the club and we will be occupying the committee club for a loooonnnggg time.

tengok actually banyak benda buat aku berfikir. give me one amazing second dan aku boleh generate billion neuron of mines untuk buat sesuatu konklusi yang luar daripada kotak.

sayangilah ibu anda. lagi lagi anak pertama, memang payah. yang c section tak payah sangat kurang sakit.

yang beranak natural lagi lagi lahirkan anak pertama memang sakit. siap kena potong vagina bagi ruang untuk kepala bayi. sesuatu yang gerun dan banyak benda flash keluar dekat otak aku tapi aku simpan.

oh saya sayang mak saya. :)
tolonglah jangan buang anak, jaga ye?

Location:K M C Mercara Trunk Rd,Mangalore,India

Who's into you part 2

2011-03-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

Semenjak dua menjak ni aku rasa aku dalam keadaan yang meletihkan. Kelas tak tertangkap, baca tak termasuk, tidur tak terlena. Bagaimana? Sibuk denan persatuan dan batch sendiri, dengan tarian kontemporari yang menggelabah itu dengan video rosak itu dan fashion show yang tak hingat itu buat aku letih.

Tetapi itu tidak bermakna aku berhenti berfikir tajuk ini. Aku faham manusia hilang keserasian bila bersama itu sebab mereka mencari lain. Antara sebab manusia bernama lelaki mencari isteri kedua, antara sebab band kenal
pakcik hussein bubar dan menjadi lan si penaip. Mula menuju ke jalan so-called destiny dieorang.

Jujurnya aku boring, menyampah dan hampeh akan fakta ini. Sebab ia benar belaka. Seorang gadis yang tak dikenali 'stranger' pernah terasa kekasihnya dan beliau merasakan hambar. Keserasian makin pudar. Aku antara pendengar yang tegar bebelan beliau buat aku cuak memikirkan masa depan. Aku faham Melayu selalu rileks dan chillex.

Dengan selamba "jodoh ditangan Tuhan". Aku tak nafikan itu enar tetapi tidak bermakna tak berbuat apa apa.

Sepanjang dalam kehidupan aku, dalam memberi komitmen aku antara yang terbaik. Aku ulangi komitmen terbaik. bukan maksudnya kerja aku cukup bagus tetapi aku berusaha bersungguh untuk menyempurnakan kerja aku when the passion existed.

Bila dalam kehidupan kau boleh sangat nampak mereka yang mahukan kau. Syarikat besar? Kedai makanan terkenal? Pembekal kordial ribena terbesar dan lain lain lagi. Sanggup call nak menanyakan kita. Sanggup menggunakan ayat ayat manis dan bersedia untuk mengorbankan segalanya.

Lalu buat aku tertanya, apakah patut pendirian lelaki goyah bila dipujuk rayu wanita? Aku pening.

Lagi buat aku pening bila kawan aku duk mengadu aku apa perlu dia lakukan. Kerja aku tak tersiap
nak melayan dia pulak. padahal banyak je benda boleh aku buat.

tanya si dia macam mana hati dia rasa goyah. si teman wanita tidak menjaga hatinya, si kawan perempuannya bertutur bicara lembut suara. tambahan pula berkata manja fuh hati mula terasa goyah nya. salah ke?

aku gelak memikirkan situasi ini. aku yang tidak lah hebatnya, kurang la
paras rupanya tambah pula kurang cerdiknya, pendek cerita not bad lah ni mulakan nasihat untuk fikir masak masak. sebab dunia ni pendek bunga bukan sekuntum. haha

sambil mengetuk kepala sendiri aku tersengih dengar perkataan bodoh itu keluar dari mulut aku. aku boleh bayangkn karikatur aku melempang diri sendiri kerna cakap tak serupa bikin tapi apakan daya nasihat aku semua bernas belaka. beza nya kau nak dengar atau tidak je~

dah aku penat fikir. aku penat fikir kembali aku usaha banyak benda then datang manusia tuang minyak RON sembilan puluh lima lalu bakar dengan sebatang mancis. oh sakit macam sial.

kesimpulan bila manusia
memberi kau secebis kasih sayang maka hargainya and he/she definitely into you. bila dia dah jadi seseorang untuk kau dan dia buat celaka bersabar dan buat lah pokerface~

haha, sabar je lah kau nak aku cakap apa lagi? HAHA

who's into you? part 1

2011-02-17T13:13:00.000-08:00

Semangat bukan aku nak menaip tiba tiba. Haha, bukan apa aku boring. Padahal ada test pharmacology Isnin kepada 80% yang fail hari tu. Mana lah tak nya, mementang test hanyalah MCQ, semua buat buat tak tahu, buat buat relax macam latihan kompang KEPAK KEPUK! Konon, sehari sebelum test, buka buku MCQ lepas tu boleh score, tinggi hidung dan kaki. Ceh. Padan muka kan dah kena. Sekali keluar benda benda yang tak wujud. Bagi orang orang macam aku yang lebih celaka kononnya boleh score dengan baca buku MCQ tu pada pagi test, memang maut. Haha, sila berhenti main main ya rakan rakan.

SO, soalan yang menarik who's into you? Awak? Kamu? Kau? Anda? Kau orang? Kamu semua? Kan menarik jikalau ada orang jawab bila aku tengah menaip ni. Nak nak pula yang mereply adalah orang orang yang comel seperti Nora Danish, Lee Min Jung tak pun IU. Untuk dijadikan cerita, aku menghadiri satu mesyuarat berkenaan sambutan CNY and MaKS1Ma ni. Entah kenapa aku dengar BANYAK, BANYAK kali perkataan kahwin. Maybe my hearing for today become more sensitive than usual. Entahlah, aku boleh senyum je la. Tambahan pula, senior aku paling sporting dah tunang. Senyap senyap pula tu. Rasa macam hilang kawan. HAHA. Okay aku tipu. Aku rasa macam kawan aku yang gila dah matured.

COME ON LAH. We're talking about marriage okay. Gila! Aku memang tak boleh fikir sangat benda ni, sebab aku tahu aku tak layak. Kemahuan memang ada, nasib baik akal dah lama ada. Bukanlah aku gatal, tapi aku rasa institusi perkahwinan adalah menarik. Kahwin dan bercinta bersungguh, oh menarik. That makes me realize, how do you know someone is into you? Sign? Petanda? Kata kata?

Tiba tiba aku rasa nak share. Masa aku sekolah rendah dulu, petanda yang paling obvious if someone is into you, she'll be looking at you for a period of time. Sumpah aku perasan. EH tak, sumpah aku perasan akan pandangan minah itu terhadap aku even dia dekat tingkat 2. Bila kita buat buat pandang dia, nanti dia tersipu sipu malu lalu kepala yang bertudung putih itu bersembunyi di balik dinding. Aku bodoh bodoh orangnya, mak aku cakap, buat baik dekat orang. Maka aku senyum. Gila NAIVE. Kalau sekarang aku buat, serius kena tampar. Kau tahu apa aku rasa masa tu? Priceless. Gila seronok rasa ada secret admire. HAHAHA. Okay gampang puji diri sendiri.

Sekolah menengah, it was easier. Kalau minat surat sampai. SETTLE. Macam babun aku rasa bila nak menaip fasal benda ni. Masa tusyen dulu, kalau ada orang minat, ada orang tengah, ada orang belah kiri ada orang belah kanan. Sebelum start kelas, mamat tu kena jumpa orang tengah dekat luar kelas. Bukan aku mamat itu, aku biasalah, wingman. LOL. Nanti mamat dapat surat, dia baca. Kemudian masuk kelas bila cikgu masuk. Tengah berjalan tu, mamat tu akan kelip kelip mata ke, pandangan lembut dan penuh kasih sayang ke penerima surat itu. AWWWW, sweet sangat bukan? TET. Lepas tu kelas habis, mamat tu dah siap tulis reply, lepas tu kasi surat balas dekat orang tengah dimana DIA TENGAH DUDUK SEBELAH MINAH YANG DIMINATI.

DAMN! Serious gampang.

Oh, aku tak layan sangat masa surat cinta masa kat sekolah. Jarang orang dapat. Sebab aku sekolah lelaki. HAHA. Kalau dapat juga, tak tahulah. Tapi masa sekolah berasrama, selalu, nak tahu siapa minat senang je. Modus operandi masih sama, method quite similar like the one I've told you. Ada orang tengah. Senior senior suka bebudak junior ni. Bukanlah pedophile tapi dieorang anggap sama lah. Plus masing masing dah hit puberty. Apa nak segan kata mereka? Tiap tiap malam aku terjaga, dengan orang tengah (junior lelaki) kena panggil and bagi report tiap tiap malam kepada si senior (kawan kawan aku LOL).

"abang bob, dia cakap..bla bla bla"
"abang hans, dia memang takde boyfriend."
"abang adil, oh dia memang dulu duduk korea'

Serius aku cakap, tidak ada kena mengena antara yang hidup dan yang mati.

Ehem ehem. Mari teruskan sesi ini.

Semakin meningkat tua, semakin besar ketidakmaluan ini. Dah tak main surat menyurat ni. Dengan kos yang mahal kena bagi nasi lemak ayam dekat bebudak junior sebagai orang tengah, menjilat bagai setem untuk bagi surat kepada mereka yang jauh (long distance relationship lah katakan) serta kos dakwat pen yang mahal, mahu mahu kepada mereka yang pakai pen PILOT G2. Handsome habis la dengan dakwat pen yang macho itu. Rasa cool je. SMS merupakan medium terhebat. Eh, takkan nak cakap texting a friend is considered into you? Kena tepat pada situasinya. Sebagai contoh, kalau dah posting sama sama, bila dalam kelas group ke, buat muka pokerface, tapi at the some time tengah text sembang benda macam

'why you bunked today's class?'
'why? I was too sleepy to come. But I'm in the college now.'
'oh, i wanna talk to you. it's boring in class'
'see, you do miss me'
'kinda'

KA-CHING! A player seen!

Makin lama makin kentang. Dah selalu lepak lama sangat, okay je. Tapi akan sampai satu level, kau tak dapat bezakan apa yang benar. Adakah itu gesture of being a friend or being more than that? Susah gila nak digest benda ni. Tapi aku nampak satu penyelesaian. dengan example aku yang sentiasa bernas. Katakanlah ada orang minat aku (okay, semua orang boleh muntah sekarang) lepas tu aku keluar dengan minah mana entah, just as a friend. EH kejap, aku rasa macam celaka dan janggal dengan menaip dengan penuh perasan. Tukar tukar. Katakanlah mamat tadi tu bukan but it's Kim Bum tak pun Jay Park. EH tak semua kenal, tukar, Taylor Laut-kat-ner lah. Oh yeah~ Lepas tu Taylor Sweep suka dia. Si Laut ni nak keluar dengan Jennifer Garden sebagai member je. Lepas balik dari outing tu, dia texted lah si taylor Sweep, lepas tu tak reply. Bila jumpa kat kolej je bagi cold shoulder.

Macam ada satu perasan tak puas hati, kononnya si Taylor Sweep nak lupakan Taylor Laut-kat-ner, nak jauhkan diri lah, nak achieve mental stability or state of calmness-lah or whatsoever. Mamat ni duk pujuk pujuk, player kononnya, tanak hilang kawan katanya, dalam hati pancing. Haha. Kejap, kenapa aku boleh describe si Mr Laut-kat-ner dengan baik ni? Mungkin imaginasi aku melampau. Mamat ni tertanya tanya kenapa minah itu macam ini.

Ladies and gentlemen, that Miss Sweep is so liking this Mr Taylor.

Kesimpulannya, banyak benda yang kau orang boleh nampak whether he or she into you or otherwise. Becoming a good observer is important. Difficult? Then you have to practice. Macam mana? Usha and keep on usha-ing. That's all folks. Aku sebenarnya menaip ni tanpa berfikir sebab aku nak sampaikan benda lain with this title, but it went somewhere. Well, mungkin mood aku menarik hari ni.

Saya ulangi kisah ini tiada kena mengena dengan yang hidup mahupun yang dah mati. Till then.

p/s: kadang kadang kau yang tak realize, that the girl who cut your cards and letters are the one who wanted you more than anyone else. Confusing enough? Me too.

Sifat yang kentang. Minat kentang. Kentang

2011-02-14T12:14:00.000-08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Sudah lama aku tidak berkata kata dalam blog ini. Even i don't know since when i stopped blogging. Oleh kerana aku ada sedikit masa untuk diluangkan dalam menaip sepatah dua kata maka akan aku terus menaip. Selalunya pabila menaip, emosi yang marak sering dilemparkan dalam blog ini. Dan aku tahu tidak semua menyukainya. Mungkin sedikit menyukai kerana mereka satu kepala dengan aku? Oh perkataan mungkin, kalau, if, maybe, possible adalah perkataan perkataan yang sering diucapkan oleh orang melayu. Bunyi mantap tapi niat haram.

Oh, tamat pendahuluan. Ya, aku tahu, aku sekadar mengarut untuk pembuka kata kali ini.

Sepanjang aku tinggalkan blog ini, aku memulakan aktiviti baru. Aktiviti yang paling wajib bagi mereka yang berakal. Mereka yang merasa. Mereka yang menghargai pancaindera. Mulakan dengan pengamatan. Observation. A keen one. An observation is an important step. A step of beginning, right after planning. All of men discoveries start with an observation. Believe it or not, this includes everything. Politics? Economy? Art? You named it!

Wow, aku rasa macam sekali menaip pendahuluan, padahal tiada niat nak sembang kejadah diatas. Mari masuk ke isi isi tersurat. Adalah dimaklumkan, tiada isi tersirat. Dan saya tekankan, tidak ada kena mengena dengan orang yang hidup mahupun yang mati. Oh, kenapa aku rasa tengah menipu pembaca? Haha, insecure agaknya.

Sifat. Anda semua tahu 20 sifat terpuji itu. Right? Are you sure about that? Oh tidak mengapa, Internet ada, jikalau segan bertanya, google masih ada. Boleh taip iluvislam cepat cepat dekat search box. Lepas tu tekan 'Enter'. Aku melihat sifat manusia yang semakin menjadi jadi. Yang membenci makin membenci, yang suka makin menyukai, yang berkuasa, ingin menguasai, yang tamak semakin tamak. Aku muak. Mari mulakan dengar orang India di bumi India ini. Oh sekali lagi tiada kena mengena hidup dan mati. Tak jadilah cerita pasal orang India.

Kedua, minat. Aku rasa bersemangat nak menaip pasal benda ini. Sambil menaip pun aku tersenyum. Rasa macam nak senyum lebar lebar dubur aku. Mari aku kemukakan satu soalan. Apakah kau dan si dia mempunyai minat yang sama? Adakah kau dan kawan baik kau mempunyai minat yang sama? Apakah kau rasa warna merah itu menyala? Merah itu menggoda? Atau merah itu sekadar warna? Oh, tersurat.

Now, I'm about to mingle those two things and present it in a way how my mind perceived it. Aku merasakan dalam hubungan antara sesama manusia, sifat dan minat mesti ada. Sifat seperti meminjam duit adalah sesuatu yang baik HANYA apabila bayar pada waktunya. Sekali lagi saya katakan tiada kena mengena dengan yang hidup atau yang mati. Sifat marah adalah sesuatu yang baik apabila dikenakan pada tempatnya. Contohnya seorang ketua pada anak buahnya. Semestinya ia bukan zalim kerana perkara itu diletakkan pada tempatnya. Sifat memimpin adalah sesuatu yang buruk jika kebajikan anak buah tak terjaga. Dan lebih buruk jika tanggungjawab dilepas sambil lewa. Oh, maaf, tiada kena mengena.

Minat amatlah istimewa. Tak semua mempunyai minat yang sama. Apa kau nak cakap semua orang minat Justin Bibir? Are you sure about that? Kau nak cakap semua minat Twilight ke? APA KAU GILA? Oh, exaggeration. Aku percaya dalam kehidupan ini, kebahagiaan mudah dicapai pabila mempunya minat yang sama. Aku rasa dengan mempunya minat yang sama, mudah untuk memahami mereka. What are the things that tick them off, make them happy and bla bla bla. Sepanjang experience aku sebagai seorang peminat tegar setegar tegar dinding sel Taenia Saginata drama Korea, aku merasakan the essence of having happy ending is having the same mind, thinking, point of view. Contohnya si hero mempunyai pemikiran, 'by hook or crook aku nak kahwin lari dengan minah aku' manakala si heroin 'aku tak kesah, aku sanggup kahwin lari ke Thailand, oh yeah'.

Kalau si bini dan si suami suka spongebob dan warnakan rumah mereka kuning tompok tompok hitam ibarat lubang lubang span padal spongebob, saya pasti mereka akan bergembira dengan pilihan mereka. Masa untuk konflik, bagaimana pula mereka yang mengubah minat mereka agar minat mereka sama akan pasangan atau kawan kawan mereka? Apakah mereka bagus?

Dari segi positif, mereka adalah orang orang yang cintakan keamanan. Suka akan penyelesaian. Having similarities obviously gonna make his or her life better. They are the one who solve all the riddles. Solve this equation. Senang, kau nak sangat tengok Twilight, maka aku balik rumah baca buku twilight dan tonton bersama kau. See you solve a problem. Next time tak payah nak bergaduh depan kaunter cinema

"ala baby, tengok mechanic jom"
"tamau nak breaking dawn juga~ nak juga" sambil menghentak hentak kaki.
"please"
"tanak! nak jacob handsome! nak edward crooked smile handsome!"

-_-"

Negative? Aku rasa mereka yang berubah semata mata untuk blend dengan society, untuk mendapat kasih sayang secukupnya dengan awek, adalah hypocrite, fag, man-biatch dan lain lain lagi. Tak perlu berubah kot semata mata itu. Dalam anime, manga, kartun, ultraman jepun, tema setiap episod sentiasa terang, jelas, nyata, ya izhar! Hujung cerita Jepun, kau concluded, sentiasa menjadi diri sendiri. Sentiasa percaya akan diri sendiri. And other fucked up things like that. But the thing is, it works. See Japanese now? Where are they now? Okay okay, put aside all the horny ones, they have been making a statement to the world. How cool to be them, how cool to be making gadgets, how cool to be making sushi *oh lapar* and how damn cool to be speaking in Japanese.

Pendek cerita, dari segi negative-nya, aku rasa berubah kerana seseorang adalah sesuatu yang bodoh.

Don't get me wrongg, aku tak emosi, dah lama ingin aku sampaikan benda ni. Dah lama sangat sampai dah basi. Macam nasi dalam rice cooker tak berbasuh seminggu, lepas tu jadi color kuning bau macam celaka lagi terus dari ketiak tempeh. Nak tanak kena keluarkan nasi tu. HAHA.

Oh, aku rasa aku seorang yang berubah demi orang lain. Aku dengan bangganya ingin memberitahu pembaca bahawa aku adalah makhluk biology yang special. Aku adapt. Sama seperti micro organism yang lain, aku adapt. Lepak kat India, aku cakap English slang India. Dapat member celaka, start buat benda celaka. Dapat member suka main pool, aku terikut juga.

Kau tahu apa benda paling kurang enak dalam meng-adapt-kan diri? Bila pihak yang lagi satu buat tahi. Bukan buat tauhu tahu! Tauhu sedap, tahi tu benda yang cekelat cekelat, hitam hitam, kadang kadang macam gula melaka, takpun gula perang. Eh sama kan. Tapi dia melekit macam doh buat donut tu. Haa, macam tu la. Pihak yang lagi satu tanak adapt duduk dengan kita. Kata nak bersosial, it's a give and take situation. Bukan senang kot. Dengan Allah pun ada give and take okay. Kau usaha, Allah bagi. Kau doa, Allah bagi. Kau tidur, Allah jaga.

Kita punya la minat nak tengok cerita Tangled, dua minggu before keluar kau dah cakap awal awal kat room mates kau yang kau nak tengok dengan diaorang. Dah beli tiket semua, kejap lagi, on that day, seorang jumpa awek aka junior kolej, sorang seronok layan anime dalam bilik. Oh memang tahi. Si dia buat pasal? Oh malas cerita la. Lepas tu nanti diaorang baru nak tanya

"eh kau kenapa sedih sedih ni? Kenapa nangis nangis dalam bilik ni? Dah la sorang sorang?"
"sebab kau la BABI! opps, sebab u la baby~"

aku memerhati, aku merasa, aku berfikir. Lama juga aku berfikir, mahu kau terkejut kenapa aku tak tidur lagi padahal dah pukul tiga pagi dan esok kelas pukul 7 dah kena naik bas. Benda benda macam ni lah. Kau orang tanak fikir? Takpe, biar aku yang fikir untuk korang. Biar aku berubah untuk kau orang. Kauorang boleh lepak lepak jumpa kawan kawan anda, layan anime anda, layan korea anda, layan youtube anda buat hal anda. Aku je duduk terhegeh hegeh buat kawan. Terhegeh hegeh berusaha untuk menyedapkan hati orang tersayang.

Sebagai penutup aku rasa lebih banyak negative kepada mereka yang adapt dengan mereka. Oh, silap, as a conclusion, I'm the guy-biatch. The one who is a hypocrite. Karangan aku ini tidak ada kena mengena dengan mereka yang hidup ataupun yang dah mati. Kau orang tak payah la nak usaha faham kenapa aku minat cerita korea itu, kenapa aku minat minah itu, kenapa aku minat pharmacology. Even korang tanya pun, buang masa. Nowadays, it's really difficult to find those who's into you, wanted to know about you rather than adding on facebook, and posting a once a year wall post like "happy birthday psenk" and untuk lebih SHIT seperti "HB!"

macam fucker. HAHA

p/s: aku minat akan satu sifat pada seorang perempuan. Aku baru perasan aku ada kelemahan ini. Haha. And I intend to keep it as a secret until aku rasa benda tu. Sumpah aku confess. Haha. For that girl, terima kasihlah sebab membantu tuan hamba dengan kelemahan diri hamba. :)

ruffedge

2010-10-08T10:54:00.000-07:00

okay. dah sebulan hiatus. sudah kembali. semangat nak menaip blog ni. eh kejap.

*tik tok tik tok*

eh malas pulak. by the way aku nak share satu link ni. eh bukan, satu video. aku teramat berkenan dengan lagu ni. aku pernah gila BABI beli original ruffedge ruffera tu. and to my surprise tak rugi beli. haha. kat india aku download balik album ni. gila. selalu dengar lagu ni pakai cd player dengan haniff hamdan terhegeh hegeh dengan tidak berbaju baring sebelah aku atas satu katil dengar lagu ruffedge. GILA.

best apa waktu sekolah dulu. ;)

siapa agak agak nak download lagu ni, tanya la aku. aku kasi freeee. lol. and siapa tengah dengar lagu ni, pakai lah earphone, baru ade feeling die punye base semua. :)

hiatus

2010-09-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

the title above suppose to mean something. google it.

take care. bye

liver and garden

2010-09-22T09:55:00.000-07:00

dalam hati ada taman. wait, theres a garden inside a liver? what the f-?

gua saja letak video ni. lagu ni memang peberet gua cakap lu. dia punya muzik memang jazz sejati. gua rempit tak dengar lagu kocok kocok (shuffle) tu. gua rempit lain beb. rempit pergi kerja despatch gua nak rempit jadi doctor. (okay ini tipu macam haram) buang tebiat gua cakap lu beb. tapi kalau lu dengar lagu lagu cenggini, dengan irama jazz yang kentang macam mister potato dan pringles memang sedap. apatah lagi dengan suara afgan yang sedap ibarat membubuh MSG ke dalam masakan. oh silap, hanya perasa yang menyedapkan dan tidak mengandungi MSG seperti di pek pek bungkusan maggi terbaru.

"TIDAK MENGANDUNGI MSG"

gua nak je letak lirik lagu ni, tapi tapayahlah sebab nanti orang Malaysia jadi pemalas. tamau cari maksud. taip dengan klik je tu pun malas macam anjing. so long short gua malas la nak letak kasi lu ada kerja sekolah sikit. kasi cari internet. duit banyak perabih dekat bayar internet bagai nak rak, suh cari lirik pon malas.

ini adalah entry bosan. aku ade entry pelik sikit punca kemarahan tapi telah kudelete. ade lagi satu draft ape ape entah aku ade buat. nanti nanti aku post.

apakah atau siapakah yang akan sentiasa membuat anda tersenyum?

2010-09-17T08:58:00.001-07:00

oh. aku tak mahu lah menipu kan. tapi ramai orang yang hebat buat aku tersenyum. disebabkan soalan ini agak menarik, marilah saye terangkan dengan lebih mendalam.

yang pertama, adalah family saya. ini saya tak tipu. kalau kumpul reramai, bukak puasa ke, dinner sama sama ke memang meriah. masing masing buat kepala, masing masing buat lawak dan obviously aku akan membahan dieorang. mak aku tolong gelak je.

yang kedua, bebudak kecil yang cute. especially cousin aku yang bernama thaqif tu. comel betul. rasa nak lempang lempang sambil gigit pipi die sampai berdarah. geram bebeno! lagi lagi hari raya aritu siap berlari ke tempat aku. sambil berteriak ' abanglonggggg'

MENGADE PUNYE BUDAK!

yang ketiga adalah couple couple zaman sekarang. dont get me wrong. aku tak galakkan bebudak pegang pegang tangan ke, peluk peluk badan ke. oh tidak. tetapi! jikalau non malay yang buat aku rase cute. or at least, budak melayu yang macam cina pegang awek yang macam model. *HAHA* aku tengok cute, so aku tersenyum la.

yang keempat, gabungan satu dua dan tiga, cik ain amin. full stop.

yang kelima, melihat kawan kawan aku gelak ketawa. aku perasan aku ade sedikit nilai pelik. aku suke sangat tengok orang senyum. lagi lagi kawan kawan aku. dieorang gelak sebab ade badut mane buat lawak aku suke tengok lantas aku pun tersenyum.

and it doesnt end with friends, bapak aku pun termasuk. bapak aku yang rock kapak itu bile die senyum aku rase best. rase harmoni. aku mungkin pelek.

yang keenam, katelah aku sentimental or whatsoever aku memang suke senyum bile aku nampak awan kepul kepul bile aku dalam flight balik india or malaysia. aku senyum bile tengok sunset. dalam hati cakap, 'ya Allah, bestnye Kau bagi peluang kat aku tengok benda cenggini." korang rase aku poyo pasal benda ketuhanan? aku malas nak cakap, aku je tahu. best doh!

haa, enam jawapan. macam nilah cik oja. i like. bagilah soalan yang mampu dicernakan oleh aku tatkala aku malas nak bace buku pasal clinical surgery. urgh

shall answer your inquiries no matter what.

reasonable

2010-09-05T12:49:00.000-07:00

to be or not to be.

aku dah menaip macam celaka tadi tapi last last iphone buat hal. dah la tulis macam curahkan kasih sayang melimpah limpah tak tertadah dek jug apatah lagi tangan. menaip dalam english kot. gila. kejap lagi sebab battery tinggal sikit die keluar from the app. macam cibet. dammit!

so untuk memudahkan aku menaip tatkala sudah berapa beratus jam ku tak sentuh blog ni, aku kosongkan fikiran. so aku sentuhla kali ni memandangkan tengah ade mood untuk menggerakkan segala lumbricals, digitorum profundus dan digitorum superficialis untuk menaip. pfft. tak perlu kot bagitahu muscle tu. gaya cam aku ingat segala bagai. karang tanya pastu jawab i dont know sir. macam haram.

reasonable is a word that i've crossed a lot of time. first hearing it when i was in standard 6. in UPSR theres a part where you should choose which item or gadget you prefer. the cheapest bag? the most expensive bag? neither both of 'em. if you wanted to buy the expensive you should write like this

'i like this bag even its expensive because the price is reasonable.'

what a fag~ i didnt know the word properly yet i used em like its a great effin word. memalukan. aku nak cuba selitkan perkataan reasonable dengan mood aku ni. hayati. *HAHA*

aku ada masalah besar when it comes to anger management. dulu adik aku pernah buat lakhnat dekat bapak aku, so bapak aku tangkap adik aku. die angkat adik aku. and hampir nak campak adik aku masuk parit. omg. seronok gila aku tengok. obviously. unless im at the other end of it. which im not. lepas tengok benda tu, i swear ill be better than my father. i didnt say my father is an ass, dont get me wrong. his teaching is the best and i could say it kinda worked on me. but i knew how bad it looked when he's in THE mood.

tapi aku entah semenjak dua menjak ni aku jadi over. oversensitive. marah gila. benda kecik kot. aku rase amarah itu tak dapat dibendung. frustrated i am. aku marah dengan diri sendiri. rasa marah yang melampau. melampau sangat. rase macam nak bukak hati aku, pastu nak kikis cell cell marah aku tu. tak pun bakar. goreng ke. dammit!

aku punya bengang tadi memang stupid habis. tak pernah marah camni. sampai the first word popped into my mind is cigarette. crap. aku rase nak smoke. fyi, aku tak suke smoke. bau tangan busuk. mulut pun busuk. bibir hitam. hilang sexy. haha. bukan best sangat pun. urgh, anyway, aku gila tiba tiba and rasa nak beli rokok. last last aku keluar pergi lepak lepak mencarut carut sambil makan. nasib baik la azam untuk tidak merokok masa balik malaysia ni kuat.

tup tup aku dah okay. aku tak tahulah kenape mesti aku sensitive dengan benda benda camni. dulu previous incident pun macam ni juga and it end pretty bad. how bad? the fact i needed 2 years of therapy. how fuck is that? heh.

the second million dollar question is am i fucking reasonable after all the shouting and cursing? or am i just a fucker? dammit! shit i guess i knew the answer all along.

kesimpulan minggu ini

2010-08-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

ala, aku dah tulis post panjang panjang macam jawab soalan exam spm pakai iphone kejap lagi gprs die buat hal pulak. tak boleh nak post. poof hilang segala bagai. tekanan ah macam ni. oleh itu aku akan letak satu post pendek buat peminat aku.

"sila cabar kesabaran saya, you won't regret it"

-this week quote

*clap clap clap*

aku dah rasa aku layak jadi ahli falsafah. meh push meh, kite tengok kalau aku letup ke tak? even i am feeling excited. nak simpan lama lama pulak lah. just imagine, there is button saying please continue pushing this button repeatedly in order to unleash the toy's supersaiya. oh akulah toy tu. cubalah cubalah. please?

HAHA. oh, post ini tiada isi penting.

lagu paling sedap dalam minggu ini!

short essay 4 marks

2010-08-25T12:51:00.000-07:00

aku dah tulis panjang panjang tapi tak jadi nak post. kasi draft je.

Question:

apa engkau hargai?

Answer:

kesabaran aku. walaupun aku cepat marah, tapi aku cepat turun amarah ku. aku tahu marah memainkan peranan penting dalam masyarakat dalam membantu pembentukan manusia lain. contoh bapa yang garang, guru yang garang, polis trafik yang bermisai tebal buat tapis air teh tarik bile minum kelihatan garang. cant understand? then, you shouldnt read the post.

aku tadi bengang main game. rasa nak sepak sepak je ps3 tadi, tapi sebab bulan puasa, sabar je. urut urut dada. "bertendang bertendang" kata shin chan. aku rasa amarah mampu merosakkan manusia, masyarakat dan perhubungan. aku hampir hampir buat satu keputusan bodoh. aku tak tahu la macam mane kalau aku diberikan kuasa untuk menjadi ketua nanti.

masyarakat?

keluarga?

diri sendiri?

diri sendiri pun tak terjaga, rase nak sepak sepak lempang lempang tempeleng tempeleng laju laju. i thought i can handle it, but i guess i dont know for sure. when the thought of all the chained satan came to my mind, aku malu. when all the devil in the world are lost, it was you and yes, the effin you who were the one driving the rage, all by of yourself.

almost make a stupid decision with this tiny brain of mine. i curse you mr brain. you better watch out for all that thought or i will smack those neuron cells for good.

fuck, what have i *almost* done.

thank god patience was always been there for me.

setelah berjoget joget dalam God Of War 3 dan GTA 4 aku termencarut banyak pulak. maaf ye. anggap je its a common word. its just a set of dirty words legalized by the government. nasihat, sabar lah. bulan puasa atau tidak, sabarlah. anggap bulan puasa masa untuk belajar bersabar. pfft. words of advice from me? what an ass.

twenty seconds

2010-08-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

post ini bakal mengambil masa 20 saat.

aku temenung. melihat titisan air hujan pada jendela. terdetik satu ayat yang tidak patut diucap namun itulah kebenarannya.

'apa fasal lah susah sangat hidup ni?'

hurm, rasa nak give up tu sentiasa ada. masa ni lah baru nak ingat bagai nak gila dekat Tuhan. takpe, at least, Allah turunkan kesusahan ni moga aku tak lupa akanNya.

tet.

20 saat tamat.

rumah sakit

2010-08-10T06:11:00.000-07:00

dah lame aku tak menaip dengan bersungguh sungguh. oleh itu, aku menaip untuk mengelakkan rasa kekok dan ke-awkward-ness melampau dengan blog ini. okay tamat untuk mengarut sebagai pembuka kata. tak payah pikir banyak banyak, menaip je segala huruf keluar dalam kepala otak aku ini.

aku ingat lagi kerinduan yang melanda sewaktu di perlis. waktu aku digelar budak hingusan tingkatan 1. menangis sahaja. bapakku dan mak aku telah jauh tinggalkan aku. ke klang kate nye. kembali ke rumah nenekku. aku ditinggalkan ke sekolah sains dekat perlis. namenye? tak perlulah diceritakan. kalau nak tahu usha je balik post post aku sebelum ni.

aku teringat akan kisah dimana waktu maghrib menjelma aku didalam surau. form 1 la kate kan. al-quran ku sentuh. ku bace. ku hafal. bile azan je, aku nangis. lelehan air mata itu hasil ingatan aku kepada mak aku ngan bapak aku. aku bukan la manje sangat. aku rase aku cukup keras cume sedikit senti gitu. bukan sentimeter ye puan puan hanye senti mental.

sekarang aku nak mengadu aku rase macam homesick. bukan lah aku homesick actually. rase macam over kalau cakap camtu. aku cume rindu.

aku rindu bile aku dengan kawan baik aku si ain ahfu cucuk iphone aku dalam kereta so boleh dengar lagu. sambil berkarok. dengan lagu korea. rindu ade peluang nak buat begitu sambil lepak lepak tak tensen.

aku rindu dengan ahkern. haa. jangan memain. ahkern. aku berani potong tangan la bet die takkan bace blog ni. tapi aku tak kesah. ahkern ni best buat berkawan. akan aku rindu die menjadi pemandu gps aku hanye based on google maps dalam iphone aku dalam mencari destinasi seterus nye. sambil die mencarut carut la tapinye.

aku rindu achapdeen jugak. mane la taknye. lepak dengan die punye lame sampai ke subuh. sembang pasal sekolah dan gosip. priceless. terima kasih la kawan.

aku rindu drive memalam sambil dengar lagu nagging, lagu korea, lagu michael buble. macam macam lagu. lepas tu lepak dengan naqi shisha satu malam. oh my, best gila.

aku jugak rindu dengan irdina, khaliesah, thaqif ngan nabil. part bile main bersama sama. berkejar kejaran tak hengat dunia. bile malam tu rase lonely, ku cakap kunci terus vroom ke rumah mereka. part paling best, aku bagi salam je kat rumah, nanti pak anjang buat script.

'eh abanglong?'

tibe tibe je thaqif dari dapur terkedek kedek lari sambil jerit 'banglonnnnnnnnng'

oh man best gila.

aku rindu mak aku sangat. ingat lagi aku ngan adik aku bongsu si hisham tengah tengok star golden bell dekat kbs world *aku kagum dengan malaysia* sambil gelak nak pecah perut. mak aku datang dibawaknye jambu.

'nah banglong.'

oh sweetnye mak aku. lepas tu mulelah sembang dengan mak aku macam macam benda. oh best nye.

aku rindu nak tengok adik adik aku. ape dieorang buat. kalau dieorang tido pon aku tengok. rase dekat. rase tengah jadi abang yang baik. HAHA

aku rindu ain amin. aku rase macam tak perlu description.

now, aku offically rindu rumah. nak bukak puasa ngan dieorang. ya Allah, permudahkanlah jalan aku, dengan exam anat aku ni. please. bagi la aku kelapangan dada moga senang aku membaca dan menghafal macam ibnu sina. aku nak balik raya please dengan senang hati.

p/s: aku rase facebook berbahaya. makcik makcik aku semua aktif fb. stalker habis.

...

2010-08-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

aku sumpah rasa nak nangis.

2010-07-09T23:29:00.000-07:00

a really short post for today while waiting for our next flight to malaysia. 5 hours. urgh

sila guna kepalahotak korang dengan sepenuhnye. sila jawab persoalan aku.

apa itu nature call?

what about nature miss call?

then,

macam mana kalau nature misscall, last last terjawab, lalu dah tak jadi misscall instead jadi call?

get it? kalau korang tak dapat, ternyata korang tak pernah lepak dengan aku. LOL

take two

2010-07-07T14:15:00.000-07:00

urgh. kenapa anatomy banyak sangat masuk practical ni. dah macam jawab teori je. macam tenuk kawin cipan la. adeh. bengang betul aku. come on. last exam. tak mahu kantoi.

by the way, i realized this. aku ade satu unexplainable habit. when looking at a couple, i end up grinning in such a way it made me look like a idiot. urgh. its everywhere actually. even in facebook. reading, stalking others conversation make me smile. their lovey dovey pictures, arguing in facebook, watching sweet innocent korean drama's couple. oh man.

it is so sick that i wanna stick my finger to my throat and vomit everything out.

i am disgusting. ew~ the only way to prevent this is taking two forks and pointing out my eyeballs. pramlee style. aku nak cakap lagi tapi aien tak kasi aku cakap. sekian.

two minutes up!

*embryo plak, urgh*

kalau boleh nak buang satu warna dalam dunia ni, warna apa hang nak buang, dan kenapa? haha

2010-07-06T02:28:00.001-07:00

wow. soalan engkau mampu mencengkam kuku kaki dan kuku kuku yang lain. dah la warne.

secare jujur aku merasakan warna itu penting amatnya. pelbagai warna jadikan dunia ini ceria sangat~ lol, aku rase sebab aku baru lepas jawab exam tadi, aku sedikit gila. gila babun stress. tapi untuk menjawab pertanyaan anda puan saya memilih warna orange. mengapa? untuk menunjukkan otak aku masih normal tatkala merasakan seperti baru saja lepas dirogol oleh examiner menanye viva aku bagi beberapa sebab.

yang pertama.

orang itu mandul. mengikut kajian, warna sebegitu mampu memandulkan orang lain. bila aku baca statement ni, risau bebeno. aku baca dekat mens health.

*malaysian edition mind you bukan india ye*

yang kedua, warne oren itu sedikit gila. kalau jibam terbaca blog aku sumpah kene sepak tang groin. heh. jangan salah sangke, aku sebenarnye amat menyukai orange. selalu jugak aku memakai baju warne oren. warne oren boleh buat mata aku sedikit terbeliak. highlight gitu. tapi boleh buat aku sakit mata.

nanti otak aku berpinar. lepas tu bile ditanye ape itu gluconeogenesis punye key enzyme, elok elok aku ingat baik punye, hilang diudara seperti burung merpati yang selalu men-tahi di beranda rumah baru aku.

okay, aku sedikit terpesong. maaf.

dan yang ketiga.

warne oren adalah warne yang tengah tengah. aku tahu ramai yang tak setuju. kalau boleh, tak nak aku buang sebarang warna, tapi dah soalan ko macam ini *aku tak salahkan soalan ko, aku suke je soalan soalan ko yang pelik tapi sangat cool*, terpakselah aku menjawab dengan hati yang seberat 2.5 kg.

oren macam nak merah tapi tak merah, macam nak kuning tapi tak kuning. orang kate kalau gembire je, ingat kuning. tup tap tup, spongebob. tak ke ke gembira dan hati girang macam teletubbies? kalau nak romantik merah la, haa, passionate gitu. barulah kasih sayang berkekalan.

PANG!

setelah melempang diri sendiri, aku yakin aku kembali sihat.

memang akan ade orang cakap, habis tu pink boleh pulak. nak dekat merah nak dekat putih. tapi tak boleh. sebab pink warne air bandung. sedap woooo. mane nak jumpe kat india ni.

PANG!

tamat.

p/s: aku rase sebab first je. yang lain tu aku boleh terima lagi. camni lah latihan menggoreng jawapan ketika exam. siapa nak berguru dengan aku?

shall answer your inquiries no matter what.

push the button

2010-06-26T14:25:00.000-07:00

kalau kau nak tengok aku hempuk laptop, then try me.

p/s: agak agak berape kali kene amik wudhu ah? heh

mood-n-soon season

2010-06-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

esok exam. final. anatomy. maut. aku baru abis 2/3 topik. itu pun macam nak dekat lupe. macam main chak-bom-chak or peek-a-boo.

every time, when exam is coming, mood aku pasti lari lari anak. macam premenstrualstress if i may say. penat layan. so basically, tiap tiap kali exam, i'd end up clicking new movies to be watched, new dramas, new season, new episodes, yada yada yada.

so disebabkan final, so aku punye gile pun memang macam season finale gua cakap lu beb. let us recap

aku dah habis bace

twilight

new moon

eclipse

breaking dawn

buku anat tak tersentuh la pulak. damn

dah habis tengok

bourne series

smile you 45 episode, siap download satu satu tak tahan punye pasal

my girl 16 episode

shining inheritance 20++ *aku lupe*

youre beautiful 16 episode

smile *jepun* 10++ *lupe juga*

pastu cter jepun ape entah yang ade butler banyak banyak tu

prince of egypt

what women wants

shinchan

dan banyak lagi

aku tak tahu lah. maybe sebab hujan lebat kot?

aku takde mood. aku takde mood nak exam.

dulu okay gak, takde mood nak exam, tapi ade mood nak balik malaysia.

now, aku rase balik malaysia macam membazir. malas nak balik malaysia. rase cam useless je.

takde mood nak balik malaysia.

sigh, whatever

p/s: doakan lah aku, moga moga ape aku bace bersungguh tu masuk exam. tak blank.

i and u = IU

2010-06-12T13:20:00.000-07:00

dah lame aku tak cerita pasal music. tibe tibe mood aku nak letak lagu favorite aku plak. sedikit introduction, after number of hours spent watching mblaq's idol army which is given by cik apan, i have develop an interest toward iu. she was a special guest in the variety show. she is one of the talented korean singer. born in 94. wow.

she can play guitar, nice voice and short hair. not forget being a cutie herself. conclusion, she has every trait. i mean THE traits! oh my, isnt that wonderful. and a plus, she has a wild laugh. the non-stop and non-irritating laugh.

so, aku pun mule la dig deeper about her career and her personal life, and yes, only to a certain limit. suara die sedap, slack die tak banyak lagu yang betul betul catchy dan buat orang lain jatuh hati pade nye. die baru release new single. and aku dengar. lantas menjadi favourite aku sampai sekarang. so aku mahu sharelah. aku tengok lirik die, lagu die, besh jugak ah. so, dengarlah. aku tahu korea, but this song is nice. enjoy.

p/s: weda jay tampal youtube lagu lady gaga. aku memang suke lagu lady gaga sebab memang ade yang betul betul sedap. tapi video clip die semua gila lah. bad romance dengan dance tu boleh terima. tapi yang lain, buat aku termuntah. kadang kadang buat aku pelik, aku usha porno ke? aku usha benda abstract sangat ke sampai aku rase nak termuntah? fashion sense duie tak payah cakap la kot. extreme. brrr. seram sejuk.

stop

2010-06-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

i give up. afk

darkness

2010-06-10T16:20:00.000-07:00

I'm laying on my back. Typing this post. Looking through the darkness of night. It suppose to be black but dark adaptation took the best of me. Everything can be seen in black and several level of greyness.

While looking up, it made me think. Since when I became so stupid. Since when I became so blur that when I tried to study it disappoints me. Everything I memorized end up gone by the wind after few hours. It frustrating when others can do it, achieve it and getting the dean list mean while I'm stuck in this darkness thinking what should I do next.

It's aching and making me mad. I'm mad with my self. Hearing arman sleeping soundly is the proof his ready for final. Nothing to worry about. He doesn't have problems like mine. Oh God, I'm at my wits end. Everyone keep saying I can do it, but the million dollar question is, can I really do it? With this level of bebal-ness, can I really do it?

Tonight it's like a talk session between my alter ego. It's been a long time not to be scold by him. It's a two minded thinking. I pour some questions and problems and he splashed back his riddle-but-hard-to-solve-kind of answer. Everyone keep asking me whether I'm okay or not? And I don't know. I could have said no, but to ease my mind so I said "don't worry, I'm okay"

But I wonder...

Will I fail this final? With this kind of thought should I pass? With this kind of stupidity lurking inside my brain and eat my heart out can I go back Malaysia with a smile? Can I be bothered to use our people money to buy things that I've always wanted?

Crap, it's 5 o'clock in the morning. It's been 2 hours looking at the ceiling. U don't know if I can get through with this. I don't have the answer. Final is coming. Will I flunk?

P/s: what a stupid question to end with. Heh

I'm really sorry for what I've done.

varia-see(?)

2010-06-01T06:48:00.000-07:00

variasi membuat manusia berbeza beza. beza perangai, beza pendekatan dalam bersosial, beza rupa, beza cita rasa dan berbeza segalanya. kerana banyak yang suka berbeza, maka pabila manusia berkumpul kerana sesuatu, kekuatan terhasil. okay, i think this combination of words is so bad that no one will understand what i'm trying to say actually.

i believe, bulat air kerana pembentung, bulat manusia kerana muafakat. yezza! aku dah berjaya menggunakan peribahasa sepatutnya. aku pecaya manusia merupakan makhluk yang complex. masakan apabila belajar mengenai otak manusia ni, buat aku kagum what human actually capable of. from making a sandwich to building THE taipei 101 building, they amazed me. okay, aku cerita as if aku bukan manusia seperti mereka, papejela.

*aku cakap papejela? masalah besar ni*

kembali kepada topik hati ini, aku rasakan variasi menjadikan manusia sempurna. okay, at the same time, aku juga rasa ada kekurangannya. okay, sekarang aku pasti aku bercakap macam masyarakat india. maaf tuan arif.

variation is good. it makes the world goes around and around non stop. from horse to ferrari, from hut to penthouse, from lake to swimming pool in a cruise ship, from bird to sukhoi, what more could we ask. theory after theory were submitted, showing each of this intelligent-so-called-human-brain capable in making changes and evolution. and to make it more interesting, when this variation find his or her partner or his/her-thinkalike-groupies, the better it will be.

kita beri contoh sekumpulan saintis la katakan. this group is dying to make the world a better place. creating hybrid cars, solar powered gadgets. isn't that good? prevent the global warming from reaching it worst phase. urgh. they did a great job. and now, still searching for better solution. how about otaku? otakus show civilization. from art figure making to imagining things such as war machines eventually give ideas to the clever ones how to survive in this today modern world. bayangkan kalau ada gundam. mak aih, nangis aku beb. sekejap je palestin dibebaskan. percayalah.

maka terkumpullah satu kumpulan manusia yang mahu membantu orang di gaza. niat cukup murni, alhamdulillah. but then, some sicked-effin-bastards started to kill/disturb this pure hearted homosapiens lalu buat aku naik angin. tak terkata. niat sudah ter'solder' mahu membantu mereka yang tertindas, yang bangang pulak kacau. kalau tak silap aku ah, correct me if i'm wrong, dalam perang ke, dalam ape ke, journalist tak boleh kene serang and termasuklah kumpulan yang membawa aktiviti bantuan kemanusiaan. tiba tiba kena pulak, memang buat aku panas la.

tapi tu lah, tengah duk ketapketup menaip ni, dah manusia, nak berseronok, barang kali tengah happy pergi zouk, keluar malam malam buta buat kerja gila, rempit duk berlumba lumba, doa qunut nazilah tak nak buat tak payah cakaplah, apa doa qunut biasa pun tak buat. jangan cakap lu tak tahu baca alfatihah sudahlah. ade yang pandai, over lah pulak, memaki hamun dengan israel kononnya. bengang lah katakan. kejap lagi beli barang depa punya. tengok cerita depa punya *ehem ehem*. gua tak nak cakap apa ah. bukan la aku tak buat langsung. aku tahu aku salah juga, kita sama sama salah. marilah kite berdoa agar mereka diberi balasan yang berbeza. tak kira lah engkau agama apa. aku percaya agama aku. yang percaya lain, percayalah. tapi perangai binatang ini harus diherdik. dibenci dan dimaki sepuas puas nya. bak kata tun mahathir, kita tak boleh nak maki saja, depa pun bukan nak rasa apa. dah biasa. betoi gak. make buatlah sesuatu. selemah lemah iman, berdoalah. insyaAllah.

p/s: lu tak reti baca alfatihah ka? senang, cari tok guru, belajar. tak terlambat selagi engkau tak mati. apa yang penting? kerjasama~

yang paling gua tak paham lah, kenapa, saudara saudara kita ditindas, masuk berita pom pak pom engkau duduk cerita dalam blog, najib tu bodoh lah, menteri banyak duit lah, elaun banyak lah, polis makan suap lah. macam baghal. menyampah aku. aku boleh maafkan melainkan dalam blog engkau ada cakap:

'saya hanya mengepost cerita cerita dalam negara sahaja, dan hanya cerita pasal keburukan barisan nasional sahaja.'

urgh. lu buat gua pening la ada manusia satu warganegara sama dengan gua.

serius ke weh macam mana life ko kat india?klu negara lain aku leh imagine tp kat india mcm mana? essay 20m.haha

2010-05-20T23:33:00.001-07:00

hidup india adalah sangat berbahaya dan mampu mencabut jantung anda di mana sahaja. mengapa? haaa, ini la kite nak tawu. kerna ini adalah soalan 20 markah, akan di nyatakan 4 perkara di mana setiap perkara akan diberi elaborate dengan maklumat, example dan equation yang perlu.

1. bas
bas mereka adalah bas yang terbaik. semua orang nak pakai bas, sebab murah. pergi tempat jauh jauh macam kl ke shah alam, bayar dalam 70 sen. yang BEST sangat dan mampu merembes adrenalin adalah bus driver sentiasa membuat stunt stunt seperti die berada dalam rancangan realiti tv. kadang kadang die rase die hero. itu sebab bawak macam..alagappas? HAHA

2.makanan
makanan di sini amatlah..berlemak? ada yangsedap, ade yang plain pelek. pernah sekali aku makan, die letak something macam kanji, sayur skit, letak kuah kari dan letak TEBU untuk di makan bersama. pelik bukan? tambahan pula, kat india, kedai makan yang grand di kenali sebagai HOTEL. kat malaysia HOTEL itu rumpah tumpangan, tapi disini tempat makan yang dikenali sebagai hotel. dan sekiranya anda berada di india, adalah wajib anda untuk kene diarrhoea even sekali kerna makanan di sini sangat..membunuh?

3. bau
ini adalah kisah benar. aku pernah pergi tamil nadu, di chennai, (im staying at mangalore) bau pantai die memang menusuk bulu hidung. silap silap memang rosak ah olfactory bulb aku. segala mitral cell dengan g protein aku mampu diminished sebab ade bau bau tu. dan di sebabkan aku SUKE sangat naik bas, so aku akan berhimpit himpit dalam bas. sedang aku menari menari dalam bas gara gara bus driver yang sangat hensem bawak bas seperti irama dan lagu hip hop dan rock di mix kan oleh dj tiesto, aku akan endup langgar langgar dengan community yang lain. yang aku hairan, kat india selalu sangat ade iklan deodorant. tapi kenape masih BERBAU dalam bas? berpeluh peluh. ewww. sabor je la.

4. management
sebagai rakyat malaysia, kite perlu sayangkan malaysia. tapi setelah aku datang india, aku SAYANG GILA BABI dekat malaysia berkali kali ganda. mengapa? malaysia merupakan negara yang laju, pantas, cekap. kalau tak cekap pown at least lebih hebat dari india. bayangkan, kalau topap via internet, credit masuk selepas 2 minit. india? lepas 30 minit kot? kadang kadang BERJAM. sedih tak? tambahan pula, nak ambil sign dari police sebab sebagai foreigners kene amik sign dieorang setiap kali meninggalkan india. kerja dieorang, masyaAllah, lembab gile. nak sign je pon. next example, pernah sekali, kiteorang nak bonafide letter, a letter recognizing us of being their students in india. perlukan surat tuh, kalau nak angkat broadband, nak beli itu, ini, and nak beli simcard. kite orang mintak, and kene tunggu untuk SURAT itu diprint dalam 2 3 jam. SERIOUSLY. surat je. mintak surat then cop je la.

so ape yang boleh saye konklusi disini. hidup di india amatlah mencabar. orang kate hidup india senang, sebab INDIA je. memang bullshit. tapi tak semua itu kotor seperti tahi. ade je bende yang bagus.

1. bas sangatlah laju, cepat sampai destinasi. fyi, bas sangat laju dan die potong, kereta, motor, dan auto. kalau malaysia buat benda yang same, takke boleh elak global warming.

2. dieorang kerja bersungguh. oh ini merujuk kepada kerja kerja tenaga buruh.

3. sentiasa rase nak menang. aku tahu dalam cerita hindustan mesti selalu nak menang. so dieorang lahir lah sifat sifat begini. kalau orang melayu " tak palah, nanti menang la". tapi dieorang nak lawan jugak.

4. industri filem dieorang sangat mantap. lagu pun okay. aku tak delah layan sangat, tapi cukup bagus untuk aku mengaku industri filem dieorang lebih mantap dari malaysia sangat sangat.

Amacam? jawapan aku mencengkam minda ko tak? aku boleh cerita banyak lagi. tapi sebab 20 markah je. haha~

shall answer your inquiries no matter what.

bradykinesia

2010-05-18T15:19:00.000-07:00

im done.

gone.

for good.

my kind of angina pectoris

2010-05-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

i don't need anybody. who does in need of someone when he's worrying about his final exam? bleh. seeking for attention? nah, that's just bullshit.

i'm just a self righteous son of a bitch. ignore me.

give me a fibrillator. or else.

seriously sunshine

2010-05-14T08:34:00.000-07:00

aku sangat lah busy sebab nak exam ni., tapi ke-mengada-ngada-an tahap tamparan wanita petala pelita di chennai membawa aku menaip 'ketap ketup' di papan kekunci maka membuahkan post ini. physiology telah ku ratap. anatomy telah ku belek belek. biochemistry masih tak tersentuh. tidak mengape. selepas ini.

mari kite ambil quote mengenai award ini dari enkhair sendiri.

"award ini ditujukan khas buat 12 orang penerima, yang bila aku bace blog mereka, membuatkan hati saye ceria - menari nari bagai bunga kembang setangkai ditiup angin yang nyaman."

merujuk perkara diatas, saye mendapati saye risau dengan ayat ayat yang disusun oleh enkhair. stress bekerja agaknye. tapi disebabkan name die sunshine award *awh, so sweeeet~*, make aku cube memberi sedikit maksud sunshine award mengikut kriteria aku.

award ini akan ku beri khas buat 12 orang penerima atau kurang. maaflah. tak semua blog itu seronok mahupun beronok-ronok. bagi aku, yang mane buat aku distracted from medicine, yang buat aku distract dari own stress, difficulties, patut diberi award ini. selain itu, boleh juga dikatekan buat hati gua ade taman. HAHA.

asfan

die kasi gua lupe sikit pasal india dan tempeh. baru aku tawu kiwi name gelaran untuk local kat sane. kan? ke aku salah. kat india tempeh. hak ele. baik kasi name rempah ke, daun kari ke. limau nipis ke. kalau panjang sangat kasi name tikus, sebab banyak tikus. btw, tak nak ambik kesah pasal award ni pun tak pe. im just saying blog engkau buat aku less stress.

weda jay

yang ini pun menarik. dari stranger ke penjual keju. macam macam ade. blog beliau buat aku lupe india juga. at the same time menambahkan curiosity aku ape sedang berlaku di bumi Kent tu. malahan ape sedang berlaku dalam paleotak weda sendiri.

aien ahfu

ini buat aku gile sebab entah kenape aku bukak blog die aku teringat pakli. bukak blog ingat karaoke. bahaye sungguh.

gman

selalu buat aku lupe tentang india dan asah pemikiran aku terhadap hal dunia, politik dan care care untuk menggunakan dirty words. haha.

nadhiah fatin

yang ini bahaye juga. bukak je ade sinar. bukak je ade sinar. whether its from hajjah or the TEETH. bahaye. plus, menarik untuk dibace sesuke.

ain amin

ini buat aku lupe india (sangat). buat aku nak balik malaysia (sangat). oh (sangat) tersirat.

begitulah hendaknye award yang saye berikan dengan sesuke hati saye seperti bunga di taman. saye mengucapkan ribuan terima kasih kepade enkhair memberi anugerah itu kerna saye tahu tanpe beliau tiadelah fakta menarik mengenai diding rektum dan tet tet yang lain. lawak yang lebih bermutu selepas mahfidz abdul jalil. haha.

*****

okay, part serious. aku dah mule menyampah bace blog sebenarnye. mengape? kenape? ape?

correct me if im wrong, manusia memang nak sangat jadi unique. tolonglah tak payah nak disagree. percayelah. ade yang tak suke sesuatu sebab orang ramai suke. oh, aku benci orang camni. maaflah. aku tak kesah kalau die tidak menyukai sesuatu. sebab colour objek tu ke, ke-contour-an bende tu ke, rase die ke. aku paham. semua orang ade suke dan tidak. thats undeniable.

tapi ade manusia ni, sebab ramai orang suke maggi, nak jadi unique cakap 'aku tak suke maggi.' with a slight hope that the surrounding shall remember his or her name as THE ONE who doesn't like maggi. okay okay. example aku tak cukup umph. okay kite ambik twilight lah. senang cerite. aku bukan lah fan twilight. sekadar tengok je. mind you.

aku jumpe segelintir manusia ni benci twilight. and to my curiosity i asked, kenape? die cakap sebab ramai orang suke. aku macam? gile tak de pendirian. but maybe aku salah kot. sebab itulah pendirian die! which is "i hate normal, i hate mass liking, i hate it when all of u guys like it."okay.

aku terima kalau orang tu cakap, 'twilight geli sangat lah bile bace.'

okay, accept.

'twilight banyak sangat la kene bace. tu sebab benci.'

okay, granted.

lagi satu statement, 'aku tengok movie die, macam tak besh, so aku bencilah. eh bukan bukan, sebab tak besh la aku benci.'

okay, granted once more.

haha, ini baru mukadimah. kembali pasal bloggers. dulu aku rase politik itu tahi. crap. stool. feces. bla bla bla. stop. sampai sekarang aku nak rase macam tu boleh tak?. kalau boleh tak nak terlibat. sebab ape? recently aku bace blog blog mereka ni yang selalu mencaci manusia lain. im a man with neutrality. cakap je sesuke hati, as long im being honest, ill say not good for bad and not bad for good.

aku ade bace blog ni, menghentam kerajaan malaysia. fyi, aku tak pandai politik and aku tak tau whether aku pro kerajaan or anti kerajaan. im in no position to tell you. sebab aku neutral, kite teruskan. blog nie hentam habis habis-an pasal kebodohan kerajaan menghalalkan perjudian. see, this is something yang kite semua patut hentam. sorrylah, aku tak nak cakap banyak. tapi dah sah sah agami rasmi bagi negara ni adalah Islam, say no to judi je la. senang. tak payah cakap banyak. sebagai rakyat, kite katelah salah. we have the rights. maybe kerajaan da pikir masak masak this particular subject and kite hanye berade di permukaan laut politik ni. we never know ade sebab kerajaan buat macam tu.

still, aku bantah perjudian.

tapi, yang aku lemah pasal kebanyakan blog nie, terlalu anti-kerajaan-ess plak. bosan pulak aku melayan. sikit sikit okaylah. ini sampai masuk kes saiful yang kene sodomized dengan ehem ehem tu. masuk berita letup pap pup pap, pam pop pam. die salahkan saiful lebih lebih plak. pastu marah najib lebih lebih plak. mak aih. aku pun naik pelik. kononnye ade babi di sebalik mi (the word used by the blogger)

*scratching his head*

aku maybe tak tahu asal usul cerite ni tapi yang engkau hype sangat apa fasal? buat buat bertenang. cakap saiful bohong lah. inilah. sebagai manusia buang prasangka buruk. engkau bukan tahu pun what happened. which hole. which man. which place. lol. tak payahlah cakap letup letup tali kecapi berkereta api mencari sari. urgh. just now, spent 3 hours reading his, her, their blogs. sakit hati gua bace. aku tak delah pro kerajaan-ess.

yang buat gua panas saiful tu tersalah cerite dekat mahkamah, tup tap tup die suke suke je kutuk saiful. kate pasal unta lah. pasal kerbau lah. haha, saiful pun salah lah, siape suruh salah cakap, fakta bergulung, memang kene titiklah. aku bukan ape, kesian sebenarnye si saiful ni.

saiful itu YANG kene liwat. die rase sakit. die tawu ape jadi. kite dengar je la.

ehem ehem itu YANG meliwat. die rase besh. die tawu ape jadi. kite dengar je la.

kalau ko nak cakap mahkamah tu kene rasuah, berat sebelah, tak boleh percaya pynye orang, okay aku diam. tapi aku ade hak cakap ape ape selagi tak de bukti yang mane betul atau salah. gua bagi advice, selagi ade bukti baru la lu cerita. gua bace blog korang korang buat gua nak termuntah. jijik manusia di malaysia yang lebih lebih. over sangat. dari mat rempit, politik kedai kopi. sudahlah.

amacam? serious gila tak? fyi, aku terbace pasal si saiful ni konon simpan bukti takde basuh itu lubang. yang pertama dalam hati aku, serious shit? nak kate ape dah. entah betul ke tidak. aku pun tak tahu ape terjadi. tapi aku hanye percaye, yang die diliwat tanpe kebenaran sebab die dah buat sumpah dalam masjid. so aku percaye je lah. ape susah. dah pakai name Allah. kalau die tipu. and ade bukti, aku kutuklah die. senang. kalau die tak buat sumpah, aku tak percaye pon unless dekat mahkamah bawak saksi kate saiful ni tak bersalah.

aku pening bace blog blog ni. bile mahu maju. ade pulak, baru umur 17 dah war war konon konon target nak pangkah yang itu ini. lol. spm tak lepas lu cerita benda bangang, gua dengar pulak tu. tak ke dalam hati aku boleh setan cakap "bangang la lu budak."

akhir kate, dulu mase aku kat pasum ade seorang secretary ni. fofular jugak kot. aku pun tak kenal lah sangat. tapi die cerite kenape die kerja dengan kerajaan. cerita pasal die hidup susah, yang membantu die hanyelah kerajaan. dengan memberi penekanan barisan nasional lah yang membantu. tu sebab die berjaye. so aku dah solder hati aku cakap, aku belajar kerna Allah. and other than that, nak bantu kerajaan by being a good doctor.

aku macam nak cerita pasal doctor doctor kerajaan malaysia yang dianak tirikan di hospital apatah lagi diselekehkan oleh nurse dan mo. and kerajaan tak ambik inisiatif. sampai doctor malaysia ramai ke luar negara. thus, kurang lah doctor kerajaan malaysia die hospital kerajaan. well, aku dapat tahu sebab ade orang cerite. tapi aku tak banyak ilmu. tak taw ape sangat pun. so, aku belajar je.

niat kene suci. kasi dapat pahala.

buat biar ikhlas, kasi dapat berkat.

biar buat bersungguh, biar berjaya.

tak berjaye? buat je balik. cabaran tu. Allah bagi kat torang tersayang je tahu tak?

Go-a?

2010-05-06T14:49:00.000-07:00

I'm bored. I was about to post my journey to goa. They say it's so-called-famous place because of it's beautiful beach yada yada yada. Well, honestly,I think desaru is far more better than that place. No kidding. Desarus beach is clearer, blue-er, fresher, and even nicer scenery to begin with.

I know there's a lot of foreigners in goa. And to my surprise. The tempehs are so batak with them. Like they were some jewels or treasure or trophies to take picture together to begin with. They were chasing them asking for pictures. And this foreigners were feeling that they were sooooo popular to be chased to that very extent, of course this white-skinned-and-a-lil-bit-tanned won't reject these tempeh's favour. Haha. You know what. That is just pathetic. Haha. Well, I won't deny as for us, because frankly deep inside everyone of us feeling the same. We do have that kind of ke-batak-an when we were in goa.

And to make it sweeter, What do you expect for us, a group of nice gentlemen having fun looking at someone naked body. Like looking at someone's boobs. Haha. We were like "fussyyyyyooooo"

*alah, first time la katekan TER-tengok mende lagu tuh live, omputeh plak tu, macam bangang, HAHA. When the fact is macam la tak pernah tengok mase study mammary gland. Ceh!*

I'll post this so-called adventure with detail when I downloaded every pictures taken by safuan's nikon dlsr.

Let me give a brief of what happened to me there:

1. I've learned how to ride a bike. I mean motorbike in INDIA. I thought I was gonna end up with broken bones or cracked skull. Thank God, He loves me. Looking at how the drivers in India drove their vehicles sure made me scared even after living here for what, 10 months? Huh. Scary. Especially when having the thought of overtaking the bus via left side. Yes, i succeeded. Hooray. The lesson I learned before from localites is, always use your horn/honk. No matter what you do or drive. Haha.

2. This is my first time doing parasailing. I don't have the pictures and I'm waiting for someone to upload 'em in his facebook profile or picasa or anywhere. Just make sure whoever maybe to post the picture the web.

3. I've tried gokart-ing before when I went for fun at genting highland. But we went for one place in goa for gokart-ing and it was awesome. It was like faster than the stupid gokart in genting. That's the first time how adrenaline worked on my self. Handling those steering and hitting the pedal. It made me more focus on the road. I think my instinct were better when we were racing. We sweat alot. And now I get it why Jenson Button sweat like a pig when driving his formula one monster.

The only thing I can say about this gokart-ing thingy, made me understand about THE 'jiwa kelajuan' felt by all the may rempits and race drivers all over the world.

Till the day we die, we won't stop learning new things, trying new things and even having our own first time doing exciting new things. Like always I'm too lazy to check my own spelling, grammar and those kind of crap. I'm simply babbling a bed time story/fact before I'll be generating my own delta wave.

Okay, aku poyo.

- Posted using BlogPress from psenk's iPhone

Location:Ullal,India

chantek!

2010-04-29T13:22:00.000-07:00

1. thank and link the person that give you the award.

cik nur ain bt mohd amin

2. pass this award onto 15 bloggers you've recently discovered and think are fantastic.

15? nope. just a few.

-gman - his english is awesome. really.
-yop - asyik cerita pengembaraan india je
-qidran - hebat dengan lensanya. aku suke
-faridahanum - toink toink die menarik. especially about her dads birthday post. i liked it so much.
-enkhair - orang yang kuat kerja kuat juga berjalan. one of the rarest good guy you could fine in this millenium.

3. contact said blog and tell them they've won the award.

nope. i wont. if they read my blog, then they'll know they are the beauties chosen by me! haha.

4. state 7 thing of yourself.

okay, okay. aku tak nak lah cakap pasal diri sendiri. it's not like you'll believe any one of 'em. so, i stated others' opinion about me. you guys be the judge. to believe or not to. it's your right. not mine.

this is from weda si kucing bukan jalanan stranger yang kool teramat sangat *compliment!*

-agak hebat menahan nafsu *whatever that is. haha*
-pengusaha keju berjaya *tipulah, meniage kecil kecilan*
-sayang awek beliau gila gila *owh, i guess so. ;)*
-bersisik buaya paling keras *tak, aku dah check. nik, haniff ngan ismail lebih keras*
-bakal doktor muda yg hebat insyaAllah *insyaAllah*

now, from faridahanum si toink toink si katak lompat ..kot?

-seorang yang agak kacak *tipu ni. nak mintak belanje er?*
-aku rase die ade awek *what? do i behave like somebody's property? that obvious eh? God, i changed, for good right? heh.*
-berasal dari klang (pronounciation= kleng) *dulu mase aku kat langkawi, ade pendebat chinese ni cakap die asal dari kleng~, so rase kool.*
-setiap kali tengok die teringatkan Pisang pakai Pyjamas dalam Sesame Street *okay, that is weird. and funny tho. haha*
-dia ade sense fashion yang bagus *wah, ini pujian paling menyedapkan hati. gile ah!*

last from nadhiah fatin si suke cakap, gelak dan mempunyai gigi giga yang agak comel

-hebat dalam memBEBEL *oh my, that is a compliment. aku teringin nak jadi doctor yang suke membebel but not annoying. boleh kan? ;p membebel tandenye sayanglah*
-keajaiban dunia ke 8, bilalah budak ni makan tak habis...hahaha *mustahil, parents aku marah la kalau tak makan, hasilnye, yezza!*
-xsampai setahun pakai aino, da tuka iphone, make die seorang yang ___? *seorang yang penyayang la, sebab nak kasi kat adik die dengan harge yang lebih murah. haha*
-kokokannya boleh memanggil auto. hebat lagi sekali *hahaha*
-mamat ni muke je brutal tapi sebenarnye dalam berbunge bunge weh. HAHAHA

*okay, sebab based on sarung handphone ni colour biru. ceh~ relax sudah. bile lagi mahu bunge bunge. kan? haha*

mirror

2010-04-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

peace be upon you.

time for a new post. i've been living in india for quite some time. i do not know everything about 'em but i do know how to survive in this country 9 months, at least? but today its not about surviving, its about things that amazed me 'till now. shall we continue?

first of all, side-mirrors. this important gadget is widely used by four-wheeler and two-wheeler. in malaysia, having those thing make their life easier. and a lot safer. especially for cars aka automobile. mat rempits' bike usually does not have this thing. too stubborn. 'cause this thing will embarrassed 'em. having side mirror is not-mat-rempit-of-kind-gile-babun-kool. usually, their handle (i'm pretty stupid about this thing actually) will be 'potong' so the handle will be lower and kool-gile-babi-tahap-mat-rempit-ade-style-lah.

malaysia, sidemirror for cars? YES. sidemirror for bike? NO.

but

india, sidemirror for bike? BIG YES! sidemirror for car? partially yes? that's because there is no sidemirrors for left side.

the bikes in india always has sidemirror which is pretty amazing when i observed 'em. whether they use 'em or not, thats another story. but cars, i don't know what is wrong with them for not putting it on the left side. honestly, not putting the left side-mirror is one dangerous thing to do. you never know, when a 6 year old boy was just might riding a bike just left to your 3-series. and you were about to take a left turn. ish. scary, i'm telling ya'.

india, it is said the country of thieves * i don't know whether am i right or wrong*. and i suppose, indians should change for better when this humiliation statement appear.

stop lying or scamming others for money. this is so wrong.

and let me tell to other students who kept saying,

"tak aci doh, bebudak india dapat duit banyak ah. kite kering nak mampus"

"siot la, baik aku study medic kat india, duit dapat banyak"

"report ah camni, bebudak kat india asyik berjoli duit rakyat. banyak plak tu"

you don't know how we lived here. how we survived here. with all the small things that so crap till u wanna puke everything out. don't start with the management. our officers in malaysia once told us, warned us of their slowness when doing things. we thought we were mentally-prepared for it. to our surprise, they managed to amaze us with their superb speed.

argh. sarcasm is so not me.

living in india, they will tend to take advantage of us. don't ask me. but my friends were the one living here, studying with them. bad mouth-ed is not a big deal. who doesn't? but stealing, asking us to do their assignments, borrowing things, borrowing assignments but end up losing the assigments bla bla bla. thank God, the indians here in kshegde is friendly and i like them for not messing with my life. its more than enough reason. even they did, EVENTUALLY, they are just human right?

i'm pretty aware that there is always things, obstacles, challenges one must or might face when studying oversea. new people, new situation, new kind of living. its a long post i know. right now, i'm just saying, there's a reason why students in india are fond of buying things. most probably, this wretched-evil-flapping-paper called money are the only thing which that make the students keeping up their insanity for this five-year-duration program before going back to malaysia and start a whole new chapter. well basically aside saying, they are uncontrolled shop-a-holics.

in the past, our seniors had a rm300 allowance permonth. sad isn't it? thus, they made a proposal and a letter to the jpa. jpa officers came here and did the survey needed. poof, we had that amount which is okay. and i'm pretty sure they understand better than you guys to the very least.

oh my, i'm being serious with this topic. that's good news right? so, just shut the hell up when you don't know anything about us. okay?

p/s: and yeah, facebook is THE place where they conduct their anger management activity. but hey, shopping is still at the top of the list.

*****

pictorial time!

for the first time, i managed to jailbreak my friends ipod touch. 32 gb and a 3rd generation. i'm pretty happy. so, now, this friend of mine, is non-stop downloading games and apps for free. end up, i'm being sad for not having a jailbreak-ed iphone nor unlocked. pity me~

;(

and yeah, ipod is more fun than biochemistry.

sometime, it made me think. are they having stronger faith than us? are they wiser? are they more special? or are we just that weak? hurm.

i hate queue-ing. it does not make me feel good. especially to my pair of legs. okay okay. i didn't mean that. i have a good pair of legs and i'm grateful. but when queue-ing, people tend to tick me off. this behavior of them is called 'suke-hati-lu-je-potong-gua-punye-line-macam-cibet-tak-ada-sivik-kah?'

how my study table looks like? i think picture showed more than enough. heh.

me and arman were planning to go to goa with seniors. the place has a beautiful beach. so when we were strolling at the new shopping mall called city center that day, we ended up in lifestyle, a chained-store selling various of branded stuff/goods. so, we were at this section. looking at some shades. and they looked so nice. so,__________. i'm pretty sure u'll get the idea.

i'll be putting new post another three days. i did not check my vocabulary nor grammar. so do forgive me. thank you.

spon-t-ag

2010-04-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

haish, malas sungguh aku nak menaip sekarang. exam is around the corner. aku macam nak cuak. tapi sayang teramat, belum cuak sepenuhnye. huhu. nak kesedaran. mintak sape sape tamparlah. senang. agenda post kali ini, tag enkhai.

1. adakah anda merasakan anda hot?

= aku tak nak jawablah. nanti boleh menaikkan marah pelbagai pihak. baik simpan sorang je. HAHA. macam gampang jawapan.

2. upload wallpaper pc/laptop anda gunakan sekarang

= bukan ke aku pernah tunjuk? aku rase macam pernah jawab tag sebegini rupe. ah, nasiblah. here it is.

3. cerita pasal gambar ini.

= "cerita pasal gambar ini" buat aku tergelak. comel sungguh soalan. macam soalan bahase melayu dulu dulu. aku suke gambar ini kerna sekarang bulan april. kene suka bulan buaye. KENE suke. haha.

*sebenarnye malu dan segan nak cakap saye rindu satu keluarge. tak nak lupe asal usul kate nye, HAHA*

4. kali terakhir makan pizza?

= last wednesday. mase tu tak de kelas rabu sebab perayaan tahun baru tamil kot? so, keluarlah aku dan ayam berdating. haha. okay, pelik gile bunyi aku keluar dating ngan ayam.

5. lagu terakhir anda dengar?

= starstrukk by 3oh!3, original version without katy perry in it

6. apa anda buat sambil menyelesaikan tag ini?

= serious-lah, sape yang buat tag ni? soalan die penuh tatabahasa. gile-lah. aku tengah ready ready nak mandi sambil bertuala dan berbaju tshirt ungu. okay?

7. selain name sendiri, anda dipanggil dengan name ape?

= aku macam pernah je jawab. people called me darling, *ehem*, pseng, psenk, senk, sen-q, pisang, shafiq, capik, calin, brock lesner dengan *ehem ehem* yang lain.

8. tag 5 orang yang anda nak tag

= so, aku serahkan baton dekat

@weda

@ain ahfu

@nadiah fatin

@asfan

@kakhanum

9. siapa no 1 anda? no 2?

= strangest stranger and best friend

10. katakan sesuatu pade no 5

= setiausaha hebaaaaaaat. macam over tak? ;p

11. no 3 ade hubungan dengan siapa?

= dengan garfu tajam bername raden kesumat tauhu cili sumbat

12. kata kata cinta pada no 4

cintailah Allah. cinta bukan?

13. berikan 5 perkara yang anda tahu orang yang tag anda

= yang mengetag ialah enkhai. sambil membuat iklan. silalah klik disini untuk menatap blognye.

@antara mamat yang terkool di alam semesta

@penunggang hebat kuda hitam

@masih mudaaaaa sangaaaat

@suare yang sedap macam fries mcd dicecah dengan sundae *oh my~*

@mempunyai dinding rektum yang mantap, HAHA *TMI*

@name gelaran indiana jones

****

make, bahagian untuk aku me-rambling sesuke hati. sejujur nye, aku mule benci akan tempeh. dah nak habis setahun, aku baru nak sayang korang macam manusia lain, tapi apekan daya, caremu, gayemu tidak begitu berharge bagiku. sebelum aku megecop korang sebagai bende bende yang tidak sepatutnye, marilah kite berdamai. okay? kan baik aku ni. HAHA.

haha, aku saje nak buat pelik kali ni. aku perasan, ramai bloggers akan endup letak gambar sendiri. maksud aku gambar solo. nak bagi hot ke? so aku nak try lah pulak.

tibelah aktiviti baru!

spontan!

topik pertama dalam kepala hotak aku ialah sejenis kumbang. eh bukan, pasal muzik. dah lame gile aku tak dengar lagu lagu melayu. aku maksudkan lagu lagu malaysia lah. indon jangan la kire walaupun aku suke juge dengar lagu indon kadang kadang mengalahkan negara sendiri. antara makhluk Allah yang mampu buat aku kagum, faizal tahir. yes oh yes. he's a good singer. ada style, charisma. don't get me wrong, aku suke die tapi tak bermakne aku setuju die terbogelkan dirinye menunjukkan tubuh badannye. aku tak setuju sebab public sangat kot. sebab sorry but to say, manusia ni ade je pemikiran lain lain. tak same macam kite. ape yang aku rase tu biase bagi dieorang adelah tidak boleh same sekali. pastu kalau dapat tahu aku pemikiran sedikit berbeza terus tindas.

aku tak delah nak ke arah politik, tapi tu la kadang kadang melayu. nak jage hargi diri sangat la. itu la. nak duit lebih lah. nak bagi hak istimewa melayu lah. fine, fine. nak hak tu perjuangkan lah. tapi jangan la cakap lebat berapi macam night fury dalam how to train a dragon tu tapi tak buat ape. keje sikit malas. usaha sikit malas. harap nak senang je. mane la orang tak pandang rendah kat melayu. pastu bile yang non malay cakap bende yang betul, mula lah sentap berapi rapi. aku bukan la kate tak boleh. tapikan, buat care betul lah. nak buat tunjuk perasaan ape ape entah.

nak berjuang care betul.

lawan pakai debat.

lawan pakai cakap.

tunjuk sape hebat.

barula rakyat dapat manfaat.

pergh. kawan aku yang berjuang suruh mintak hak yang same. bagus gile. aku tabiklah. die cakap. die usaha. die study betul betul sebab die nak permantapkan skill die dalam bidang tu untuk die gune bile berpolitik. baru la orang kate bagus die nak majukan rakyat die, bangse die. bangse bukan kaum ye, sebab berusaha bersungguh. barula orang tabik spring toink toink! melalut. btw, besh gile how to train a dragon tu. aku tengok dekat mangalore ni. mak aih, besh gila!

okay, sile tutup topik tadi, dan buka faizal tahir kembali. serius aku cakap, aku tak rase ape ape sangat. maybe sebab aku laki (huh?). sebab die sekadar nak tunjuk betapa hype-nye die pasal superman. bukan nak tunjuk body die pun. die takde 6 packs pun la. aku rase sekadar gimik nak dapat sambutan, tap sebabi bende da lepas. gua pun malas cakap banyak lah macam tu. die dah kene ape yang sepatutnye. die pun menyesal. pendapat aku la kan, die buat la dekat gig je ke. mesti tak kesah sangat kot. pastu jeans pakai paras pusat. okay?

baru la abang nas melodi lari terkedek kedek terjah faizal tahir yang tengah buat gig sambil tidak berbaju. haha. okay, jauh tak aku punye pemikiran yang spontaneous-licious ini. damn. aku suke je faizal tahir sebab lirik die, nyanyi die, kool gua cakap lu. cume aku tak suke part die pakai rantai je. sorry la beb, aku memang kurang sikit orang pakai rantai ni. plus, selalu sangat aku tengok tempeh pakai rantai sebab agame ke gaye ke. kadang kadang tengok member sendiri dekat facebook bebudak malaysia pun macam tempeh. haha. bodoh bukan?

iphone 4g nak keluar dan aku amatlah excited. baru aku tahu, aku ni ade trait bapak aku sikit. ade sedikit ke-hype-an bile bertemu gadget baru. saye ulangi, gadget baru ye bukan bini baru.

*macam siot, ke-spontaneous aku lagi sekali*

tibe tibe aku pun terbeli. saje nak ceritalah. baru aku tahu sebenarnye banyak bende boleh buat pakai iphone. baru aku nampak betapa pandainye mamat si steve job tu dalam meluaskan empayar Apple tu. gile weh, mase keluar iphone 2g tu, semua mencarut carut, sambil memaki satu same lain pasal kebodohan phone ni. tapi dieorang keluarkan plak 3g, 3gs. and banyak gile application yang macam macam. just for that phone. you can't deny how good they are using their brain. gile dasar pandangan jauh ke timur barat dan kembali ke barat dan timur. fuh.

manusia ni memang hebat tapi tak semua ni maksum. memangla kan? tanye pulak. maksum? ala, tanye pulak. mesti ade orang yang buat dosa mahupun salah. so, nak dijadikan cerita, mamat kerja sofware apple fer iphone 4g development telah pergi minum beer dekat mane entah. die tengah bawak prototype iphone dan die dengan selambe-dog nye tertinggal phone tu. make pecahlah satu dunia rahsie bentuk iphone 4g yang ditunggu tunggu oleh peminat peminat iphone seluruh dunia when someone found the phone. haha. manusia la kate kan.

*yang engkau pergi minum beer tu APAHAL? haha. minumlah weh, minum. aku tak nak*

ye, aku sedang menggalas kamera itu. kalau hendak lebih dekat, klik akan gambar gambar tersebut. yang bukan macam muke aku itu, itu adalah jeno. XD

serius kagum apple nye kepala hotak gelige. jeno nak jual kat aku dlsr canon eos with undisclosed fee. tempting beb. aku serius tak tahu kenape nak beli. tapi aku memang minat photographer. aku dengan bodohnye bagi alasan dekat diri sendiri aku ni ajk multimedia, kene ade camera cenggitu bile nak buat ape ape projek.

*macam bangang*

tak de hal lah. aku tak nak beli lagi kot. actually takde dalam perancangan nak belipun tahun ni. melainkan die bagi aku try 4 minggu bile aku balik malaysia pas final exam. baru aku terime nak ke tak. harap harap jeno bace la blog aku ni. haha. aku sebenarnye da pasang niat nak belanje mak bapak aku gara gara mereka hypermetropia. apa itu? rabun dekat aka long sightedness. nak belanje buat spec je. beli la jename best sikit kalau ade. ;) takkanlah soda, gile mude. rayban sudah la kan?

kesian bapak aku, bile member die bagi message ke, aku kasi message ke, adik adik aku bagi message ke, mesti die kene letak handphone tu betul betul depan mate die. jarak dalam 8 cm jugak lah. mak aku pulak, asyik asyik patah. banyak buat aktiviti lasak agaknye.

*almaklumlah, membasuh mengemas semua mak aku yang buat. campur dengan anak anak lelaki yang asyik bergoyang kaki je. nasib baiklah aku sayang mak aku. hee*

tadi padmadevi dengan selambe-puppy cakap, "shafiq, awak hisap rokok er?" aku macam nak senyum. sebab aku pikir muke aku macam tension tension mamat hisap rokok ke? kool gile. mungkin aku senyum sebab aku tak merokok tapi orang cakap aku merokok? kot? aku pun tak paham ape aku cakap. ke-damn-an!

*okay, tipu part cool*

what-ever

2010-04-16T12:45:00.001-07:00

oh, aku memang dalam bad mood. sumpah bad mood. so dekat siapa siapa yang kene tempias, maaflah. wow, at least gua mintak maaf.

tapi aku nak cakap, cukup lah lu da pijak pijak kepala gua, lu da tendang tendang gua sini sana, pakai bile perlu gua, buang bila masa lu punya suka. gua punya kepala hati lutut dubur lu tak pikir?

urgh

nasib baik lah tadi aku keluar dinner dengan bebudak yenepoya. dapat gak melihat keindahan alam kat india. buat hati aku suke ingatkan Allah, Maha Pencipta. subhanallah. tak payah bengang bengang. kalau orang bengang, ambik rokok hisap. hilang la lu punye tensen. kalau lu tensen, pergi hisap shisha, hilang lu punye marah. kalau lu agak agak marah, lu cari ps3, main lah bagai nak rak. kalau nak rak, cari lah dekat courts mammoth. oh, tak leh sambung.

kawan aku selalu sangat cakap bende ni. aku tak suke sangat bende ni. tapi kalau hati aku da macam ni kene cakap jugak-lah.

dear tempeh, pape-jelah weh.

pictorial

2010-04-07T22:11:00.000-07:00

done with anatomy paper for mid term. i don't know if i should, but still, i really hoped that God shall grant me a good result. good enough for someone like me by the way. now it's been one week since my last post, and thus, i shall make some time for a good post. here goes.

introduction for this lovely day. i like pictures. and sometime i do think that picture(s) is/are more than enough to give some brief idea(s) about a situation, impression, expression or emotion or a combination of them. plus, i am lazy to type a medium-long post or really long post like previous posts so this time, i'll be putting pictures and share some of my thoughts (just a lil')

would that be enough? i guess. all of this pictures are taken from aishah last week. oh, now that i mentioned, that weekend was not that good. pictures please!

*clap clap clap*

okay, unless you are blind or you, seriously, do not know how to read, its about windows 7 ultimate. okay that was dumb of me. 'cause if you are blind, and how the hell you were able to read any of my post at the first place? unless someone read it for you. duh. never mind. by the way, i installed it. an illegal one of course. took time enough and the result, a satisfactory one. its fast, more eye-candy and seem friendly.

drivers in india are magnificent. i mean really good. good enough to avoid an accident. well, actually i left the part where they were the one who is good enough to-cause-an-accident-then-become-hero-at-the-same-time-by-avoiding-the-same-accident-the-one-he-caused. observe. i was in the bus, standing with hao min and were on our way to mangalore city. and the bus driver is one-of-a-heck driver. driving the bus like a motorbike. no no no. thats not good enough. maybe he thought he was a riding a horse eh?

so, this is a stupid diagram made by me, what exactly happen on the next-to-accident situation. for your information, the bus driver was speeding, and he didn't slow even a bit when he saw the other buses and lorry. thank God i'm alive. by the way, i was in the yellow bus. the yellow try to overtake the red. and unfortunately, the pink was making a turn and lovely orange was speeding in its own lane. phew. that was close~

Alhamdulillah.

on the same day, i was surprised when mangalore has a bus station. and i mean like kl sentral. i was like

"fuuusssshhhhooooooooo!!!"

exaggerated i maybe, but still. okay, maybe the infrastructure is not even near to the modern-canggih-ya-a-aw kl sentral, but hey, they should have their baby steps don't they? and to make it better, they have a machine for purchasing the ticket. oh my God. how cool is that?

*its been a long time having this kind of ticket. suddenly i missed every buses in klang*

it is a file. this file shows everything. okay. maybe not. i am the new elected biro IT, multimedia, blablabla for malaysian student association in india (MSAI) for mangalore chapter. let me be honest. i'm the noob-est(!) geek ever. seriously, i don't know how to use dreamweaver, shockwave or even adobe photoshop. oh wait, maybe i do know about photoshop-ing but i do not know THAT much.

*i-say-man/aisehmen*

a friend whispered,

"kalau engkau dah dipilih, buat la sebaiknye. kalau tak reti, belajar. kalau reti, ajar. kalau esok esok engkau kene pilih jadi imam ke, pengerusi ke, bendahari ke, belajar segale bende tu. pengalaman dapat. ilmu pun dapat. ilmu datang dari Allah tu. ambil bile bagi. gune bile perlu."

who said, listening to your own heart always lead to love and all those cheesy things.

so this is the new committee. see my white-y shoes? i wore it for the first time after 3 months. at last.

on sunday, i had a very tough day. this friend of mine, a really close one was stabbed, cut and slitted. to make it more dramatic, this friend of mine was also poked with a sharp fork and it was twisted at the end of the torture. an excruciating pain started to creep out of him. till now. thank God, this friend survived and keep getting better.

later in the sunday evening, the seniors (boys) went to my hostel and picked me and arman, and went to nearest beach from my college. it was a wonderful day. it was wonderful but i was just not thaaaat happy. at least i tried. i managed to smile and cracked some jokes. yes! i'm good. i should receive an award.

most pathetic actor ever.

HAHA

as you can see, my english still sucks. and i'm not correcting it nor trying to improve it. give me some time. final is on june. and there's a lot to read.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (cry baby)

PANG!

okay, back to reality.

the friend i mentioned just now, it's my heart.

*oh man. keju macam babun.*

short note

2010-04-03T11:57:00.000-07:00

complex is my effin middle name

tag team!

2010-03-31T12:12:00.000-07:00

here lies a tag. a special thanks to the strangest stranger ever, miss weda jay. its been ages since i did this. ready set go~

1. Do you think you are hot?

should i answer this? like seriously? wait. i need to think. am i hot? how about warm? my temperature is 37 degree celcius. more than a zero should be considered hot right? wait. is it hot as in sexy? or hot as in milo hot? wait, i hate hot milo. well, i liked it in the past. but not now. why is the question is so damn difficult? should i answer semi-hot? what the hell? sounded like a moron. humph. can i say pass?

wait, i ll answer it. i am. based on the facts someone wants me? wait. am i allowed to type that. will consequences kill me? causing others to start throwing cabbages and tomatoes toward me?

tet. haha, just kidding. hot, i am not. easy.

2. Upload a favorite picture of yours.

3. Why do you like that picture?

oh. how do i explain this? hurm. an easy explanation would do. i went to johor to have a good time. and i did. it was a point where everything starts to look up. which i am very grateful till this very day. alhamdulillah.

4. when the last time you ate pizza?

domino's pizza. with nashriq. went out searching for kaspersky antivirus 2010. end up making a doughnut out of our bellies. haha.

5. The last song you listened to?

all day long - ZEA

kpop. doesn't know anything about the lyrics. but the beat and the music seem catchy and groovy.

6. What are you doing beside this?

nothin'.

7. What name do you prefer beside yours?

i liked the name anubis. all thanks after playing zone of the enders, part two. a really cool game and awesome robots. only in playstation 2.

8. Three people to tag.

hereby, i will announce the winners.

*clap clap clap*

a)miss yati ain

b)miss aien ahfu

c) mr sanusi zulkifli

9. Who is number one?

College-mate

10. Number two is having relationship with?

mus as her boyfriend.

me as her best friend.

do i need to continue with ain, weda, dadung etc?

11. Say something about number three.

he is surprisingly has a good eye on gadgets and brands. just like me. cool.

****

okay-lah. sila amati gambar ini. pastikan, amati dengan sepenuh hati. okay?

yes, i bet you guys are wondering what the heck is the above picture is for? jeng jeng jeng.

okay. for starters. what is perbuayanas?

definition

definisi terbaru ialah persatuan buaya yang ganas. haha. amacam? kool bukan? haha. even, the buaya part in perbuayanas is so obvious even my grandmother can made it out. duh~

history

terlalu banyak akan hikayat ini. apatah lagi disebar melalui mulut. lisan dan kata. kadang kadang itu semua dusta. kadang kala benar belaka faktanya. mengikut hikayat parameswara, anjing ditendang dek pelanduk. tapi tidak benar kata mereka. mengikut hikayat orang orang asli di melaka dahulu, pelanduk dan anjing bersepakat untuk menendang parameswara. parameswara dalam keadaan panic. sebijik macam dalam cerite panic room. terlebih panic. lantas mengalami tachycardia. adrenaline rush.

parameswara mule bertindak. kaki kanan di angkat tanda kekuda di pasang. tapi apekan daya, dua lawan satu. sudah tentu parameswara di atas tanah lemah di tendang dek pelanduk di groin-nya dan digigit dek anjing di gluteus maximus-nya di hujung perbalahan. sengsara. tangan kanannya menyeluk ke dalam poket. iphone dikeluarkannya, oh, tiada tenaga. oh, badan sakit penuh sengsara. hanya hati mahukan kuasa.

tibe tibe, seekor binatang yang hensem mule datang. kuku yang tajam merobek tanah setiap langkah. dilibasnye anjing dan juga pelanduk. ternyata whiplash-nye kuat ibarat pokemon menyerang gym master. terpelanting jauh. tiade seminit diberi untuk pelanduk. tetawu badannya diranap, dan sudah berada dalam binatang bersisik itu.

'burp,' tanda kekenyangan. tanda kekuatan. tanda kasih sayang terhadap manusia. buaya itu tidak memakan anjing. haram katenye.

begitulah ceritanya. dari situ, buaya merupakan binatang rasmi melaka untuk 3 hari. sehingga-lah sang kancil menipu akan parameswara mengatakan binatang yang menyelamatnye adalah seekor kancil. kancil dan helahnya. selain itu, parameswara-lah yang mengeluarkan kate pujangga.

jangan disangka air yang tenang, tiada buaya menyelamatkan kita

tapi sayang-nye, 2 perkataan terakhir tenggelam zaman.

latar belakang

kumpulan atau persatuan ini diasaskan oleh sekumpulan manusia yang mempunyai rahang yang baik dan keras. bukanlah bermaksud membuat lawak keras. ini bermulenye dengan pemaisuri selebriti in the golden era. kemudian takhta diberi kepada pihak lelaki kerana rahang lelaki lebih keras akan tetapi lembut pabila berkata. manis tidak terhingga. wujudlah agung, raja, sultan sehinggalah demokrasi mule digunakan.

untuk pengetahuan pembaca, menanam tebu di tepi bibir merupakan kata kata pujangga yang dikeluarkan khas untuk kumpulan ini. sekarang, perbuayanas merupakan kelab atau persatuan yang moden dan hanya membincangkan perkara perkara yang penting dalam dan luar negara. gossip hangat, kisah benar, perasaan, aktiviti sosial dan lain lain.

ahli ahli

presiden

merupakan ahli yang terbaik dan paling amat ter-cemerlang sekali. keganasan dilakukan tidak kire pada rumah tangge mahupun yang baru memasang tiang. menjadi idola setiap buaya-wannabe. memenangi best leader ever dalam World Crocs Congress, di Tokyo Stadium tahun lepas.

naib presiden 1

tidak keras sudah-lah pasti. mempunyai keupayaan untuk memikirkan mase depan dan mampu memberi cadangan bernas kepada presiden. sedang bertugas di India. mencari spesis spesis baru berkulit hitam dimane mempunyai lebih daya saing dan stamina.

naib presiden 2

sama seperti presiden 1 *ehem ehem*. bertugas di malaysia dalam memberi nasihat kepada presiden. mempunyai sifat yang comel tidak terkata. *ehem ehem*

timbalan presiden

antara jawatan kuasa terpenting. melebarkan sayap persatuan di United States of America. berkarisma, kacak, da bomb, dan mampu mencairkan wanita wanita mahupun lelaki dengan senyumannya.

perancang kewangan korporat

erti kate lain bendahari. dikatakan mempunyai darah orang filipina panga ko sayo, ade juga mitos mengaitkan iras muka dengan pemaisuri selebriti golden era dan juga bob lokman yang mengacara telebriti di tv 1. merupakan antara bendahari terbaik di muka bumi ini kerana buku rekodnya yang licin tanpa sebarang nombor.

setiausaha agung

juga antara teraktif. hanya bermanis mulut bile perlu. aktif dalam menjadikan persatuan ceria dan mencatat segala minit mesyuarat. juga menaip text messages and sent to ahli ahli lain. riang, emo (bile perlu) dan meratah bile perlu (makanan obviously).

exco kebajikan

mukenye yang baik, suci lagi jernih sudah tentu exco yang sesuai. juga merangkap mak tipu tipu kepada presiden.

exco infomasi dan makanan

exco terpenting di abad ini. pada zaman sekarang, informasi serta makanan merupakan asas kehidupan. apetah lagi persatuan yang sememangnye perlu ade makanan untuk dilahap dan diratah. informasi yang diberi sentiase bermutu, tepat dan kacak!

exco hal ehwal antarabangsa

exco ini sentiasa busy dengan tugasnya dalam melebarkan sayap di Australia. sentiase memberi sokongan moral bagi kelab ini lebih dari ape yang diperlukan. umpama cheer leader untuk persatuan ini. cayalah!

exco logistik

penuh dengan gadget dan peralatan perisikan atau mata mata. katanya beliau bukan ahli, tetapi setiap ahli mengetahui ape isi hatinye. "aku dilahirkan buaya," begitulah bunyi setiap degupan jantungnya. antara ahli kelab yang terbaru. masih merangkak tapi sudah pandai meratah dengan rakusnya. Godspeed! yezza! itu kite mahukan.

exco kesenian dan kebudayaan

baru sahaja ditubuhkan selepas AGM 2010 yang pertama. mempunyai bakat yang terpendam. melukis, seni, menjahit, menyanyi, berlakon dan fotografi. kekaguman segala bakat bakat tersebut membuatkan ahli tertinggi memutuskan bahawa exco ini perlu diwujudkan. antara ahli terbaru. masih merangkak.

exco khidmat sosial dan pembangunan wanita

sudah mendirikan rumah tangga. keazamam untuk terus membantu kelab/persatuan ini dijadikan teladan. memberi khidmat kaunseling dalam cara cara bagaimana untuk merangkak sesenyap yang boleh, meratah secepat yang mungkin dan berkata semanis tanpe membahayakan pesakit diabetes. veteran dalam kelab ini. dan mempunyai skill skill yang hebat. dan menjuarai World Crocs 2010 dalam kategori, paling manis mulut, paling mengancam dan paling bahagia.

notis

begitulah sedikit banyak tentang kelab ini. sempena Crocs Month, boleh-la meng-apply untuk menjadi ahli. tetapi sangat terhad. dan perlulah comel comel dan hensem hensem untuk menarik perhatian juri juri iaitu presiden, exco info dan makanan dan exco khidmat sosial dan pembangunan wanita. tidak perlu resume hanya diri anda yang menarik. masih tidak boleh meratah? merangkak? jangan risau. kami professional. easy as abc.

akhir kata dari saya,

NGAP! untuk dunia.

hari selepas

2010-03-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

sambung-lah.

tiba di rumah encik khai, dekat muke selambe ayam masuk rumah die tanpe malu. pintu dibuka dek sanusi. kerna ketidakmaluan aku, lalu en khai memberi terjahan kasih sayang dengan gaye the rock me-wrestle-ing mankind mahupun kane. lalu ku lawan dengan melutut meminta kemaafan seperti di pagi raye. bermulalah hari menarik.

YEAY!

kerna first time di rumah enkhai make aku dengan selambe kambing aku masuk bilik ke enkhai. oh, sesuke hati mak bapak saye juga. itulah orang dah kate, malu bertanye sesat jalan. kene warning la jawabnye. aku pun terus menahan malu, men-shower-kan diri dengan kadar segera seiring dengan aktiviti aktiviti lain di dalam tandas contohnye, menge-crap-kan diri, mencuci muke, serta memberus gigi. tanye pulak. dan semestinye tidak pernah ade aktiviti pelik dalam bilik air selain dinyatakan. haha.

kemudian, baju disarung, seluar dizip, muke dibedak (okay, itu tipu) kami bersembang sembang di ruang tamu. fadhil, wani dan yaya sudah berada di situ. so total up, seorang bapak, 6 orang anak. 3 laki 3 perempuan. tidak ke keluarge bahagia tu? heh. en khai, sanusi with the other girls were preparing the so-called-famous brunch. tahu apa itu? oh, translate melayu nye, sarapan tengah hari. HAHA.

makan, sambil mengenal. mase ini, aku segan. dalam dictionary aku, kalau jumpe minah ke mamat ke buat kali pertame aku memang segan sikit. tapi yang beshnye, aku cepat baik ngan semua orang. so tak pe lah. kami mulakan aktiviti dengan bermain kad. kami main kencing aka bluff aka tipu then game baru yang aku diajar oleh sifu sendiri iaitu enkhai, 7 diamond. menarik.

then masuk la aktiviti berkaraoke. yang wani ngan yaya nak pergi bershopping. aku, zati dan sanusi dalam mood nak karaoke. so karaoke-lah. melalak je. diiringi suare enkhai yang sedap itu sudahlah pasti.

oh, aku lupe nak bagitau, sambal sanusi sedap. HAHAHAHA.

*untuk difahami oleh pembaca tertentu*

sambung, enkhai's crib memang tip top la gua cakap lu. serius. karaoke die sangat besh. itu-lah BLUEBOX. bunyi die agak blue habis. tapi gua suka! berkaraoke dalam 3 jam, then bapak ajak keluar. makan angin di chennai la katekan. and meet up with wani and yaya.

mule, enkhai nak cari bulu. bulu ape? ha, inilah kite nak tahu. kate nye bulu ini boleh buat diri anda selesa. ha, inilah kite nak cari. buat kite sedap kate orang. ha, anda curious bukan? bulu kambing biri biri atau arnab mampu melahirkan perasaan ini. mengape? kite tunggu.

*penulis maybe sedikit retard*

itulah bulu yang diperkatekan. di rumah enkhai ade kerusi maharani/maharaja yang sedap dibaring dan sedap di-landing. sekiranye diletak bulu itu dihujungnye, dimana kaki selalu diletak, ade satu perasaan sedap, menyelerakan dan mengeyangkan sama seperti beras cap rambutan.

lalala~

kami membeli belah di spencer. please-lah, bunyi macam sedap. bukan kedai boutique marks and spencer tuh. pasar raye spencer je. tempat die tidak-lah sesedap mane. india la katekan.

para pelajar pula mengambil peluang untuk bergambar, beronggeng serta membeli belah barangan kulit yang tidak berjenama. yang penting kulit bukan? saya ulangi, TIDAK berjenama dan BUKAN berjenama is different. BUKAN berjename ialah seperti xiao diang mahupun din dang. aku pun mase tu tengah mencari belt, so beli-lah. keperluan katenye. fadhil pula banyak juga dibelinye. katenye untuk orang. awww, sweet. haha.

kami bertemu dengan pihak wanita kerajaan. di kedai yang same. dan obviously, kami bergambar dengan tidak malunye di dalam kedai itu. oh silap, aku tidak terlibat. hanye mereka mereka yang merasakan mereka kurang popular sahaje yang bergambar. saye kool sahaja. tidak perlu mencapub.

seterusnye, kami dibawa berjalan jalan, mencari angin. dan endup mencari bau instead of angin. haha. biar sayer terangkan apa yang berlaku dalam 'Indiana Jones and The Long Stick and Long Beach'

indiana jones dan anak anak anak anaknye (banyak anak la maksudnye) menaiki kuda captiva. ye, kuda seekor ini boleh menampung mamat mamat dan minah minah yang beratnye lebih dari 50 kg. hebat bukan? untuk menambahkah kehebatan, kuda ini dilahirkan dengan gps de tengkuknye serta kamera di punggungnya, supaye pabila reverse, permandangan cantik dibelakang matanye boleh dilihat. entah mane indiana jones dapat kude tu saye pun tak tahu.

*cool bukan?*

indiana and the children (haha, ala buruknye bunyi) mencari clue clue ajaib di universiti madras. kalau tak silaplah name die. anak anak beliau turun dan sedia untuk bergambar untuk dijadikan bahan bukti bahawa mereka di situ. dr jones pula sedang membawa kudanye mengelilingi universiti itu.

tibe tibe, (ok, part suspense cipan) ketua firaun *haha* datang dengan membawa tongkatnye. dengan mate yang hitam, misai yang hitam dan kulit yang hitam gara gara dimumiakan sejak dulu kala mule mengeluarkan kata kata firaunnye. sesungguhnye kami tidak memahami. pade mule nye kami ingatkan die sedang bersajak, bersyair, berghazal, tidak pun menjampi. mane la hendaknye, tongkat nye itu dihuyung hayangnye ibarat harry potter melancarkan jampinye. kami sekeluarga mule takut tapi masih kool. kami rasekan ini mungkin mainan pihak produksi tv. mungkin cast wakenabeb ade disini. takkan hilang kool di dunia ini kate hang tuah.

rupenye, indiana jones sudah bersedia dengan handphonenye. melihat firaun berperut boroi itu melayan anak anaknye tidak beza seperti kerbau mahupun kambing telah membuat hatinye panas seperti awie dalam tragedi oktober. polis juga tibe dengan tak berapa hensem. 'mereka takut akan bapa ku rupanya," bisik anaknye. make tertangkap la juga firaun bertopengkan tempeh itu. okay, pasti cerita ini agak luar imaginasi. kalau nak yang version kurang pening-lalat-ahmad-albab-punye-style sile klik SINI.

dengan kuda itu, kami pun berangkat ke pantai terpanjang di india ini. kerna anak anak indiana jones ini tidak pandai akan geografi make tidak-lah tahu name pantai ini. yang penting ramai betul manusia manusia di pantai itu. menjadikan pantai itu sedikit gelap. HAHA. tapi kami sempat mengamati bau bau disitu. oh silap. bukan bau bau, hanya bau. iaitu BUSUK. yeay! mane-lah dapat bau kalau tidak disitu. ambil berkat kate mereka. akhirnye pengembaraan jones berakhir disitu.

pada malam itu, iaitu seterusnye, kami bergerak ke pelita nasi kandar di chennai. at last, aku ke situ. dengan selambe ayam, indiana jones (tempeh-na jones) meng-order dalam bahasa melayu. aku kaget. terkesima. dan terase sangat suka. mereka paham akan bahasa melayu. bahasa ibunda ku! yeay. part paling besh, ade teh ais kot. and i mean tea with ice. cendol lagi. abc lagi. make things short, aku makan macam manusia obese makan. tahniah, hasilnye, ke arah ke-obese-an. naseb ah!

*actually ribena is way better but beggars cant be choosers eh?*

lepas tu, geng wanita dah ready birthday cake untuk encik khai rupenye. dekat kedai tuh. tapi entah macam mane lawak cipan macam pelanduk tendang gajah berekor pintal di sungai nigris, si waiter itu dengan selambe tempeh letak kek yang masih berade di dalam kotak ke atas meja. makan. oh my God. bersama sama hats happy birthday yang masih dalam plastik pasar raya (?). oh my God. seriously? worst blunder ever. tapi aku gelak-lah. mane-lah tidaknye, lawak sangat. penat penat nak surprise. hasil, cipanzi kahwin tenuk berkaki lima dapat iguana. haha.

setelah makan dan bergembira (sudah semestinye bergambar) kami ke shopping mall skyway. okay part ini-lah aku kagum. nak masuk parking dieorang kene amik ticket. gune machine okay! kagum gile babi kot! jename machine tu amano. and aku pasti, dan yakin dan pasti, brand yang same, design yang same ko boleh jumpe dekat jaya jusco okay, contohnye di bukit raja. gile-lah.

*clap clap clap. peewit!*

ade mcd kot. cool habis. menambah kekaguman aku. aku jumpe bossini, aku pun men-shopping la. ala, sehelai sahaje, mane boleh kire. wanita dan enkhai mencari ingredients for tomorrows breakfast. aku pun mengambil peluang untuk berpusing la tempat tuh. gile weh, memang lawa kot. boleh kate style ala ala garden midvalley kot. still ade unsur ke-tempeh-an. tapi masih kagum untuk mereka maju sebegitu. lalu, pengembaraan terbaru bermula. Indiana Jones and the Magic Room.

haa, part ni lah paling suspense. setelah membeli segale barang, kami pun berangkat ke istana indiana jones. anak anak riang gembira tatkala makan yang banyak dan hati yang senang. tidak lupe juga akan perut yang ke depan.

*tet*

sedang kuda bertungkus lumus (wow), tibe tibe indiana jones punye gastrointestinal tract pun bertungkus lumus juga. laju je makanan diserap, di-digest, di-sedut. tetawu, indiana jones kene cari toilet. aku pasti, mr jones was furious. die mule membawa kudenye seperti fast and furious. aku pasti die sedang tachycardia. mase tu paling besh. segale script dalam setiap scene atas/dalam kuda itu, semuenye berbau dan berbaur tahi. haha. damn. aku suke. sampailah skrip indiana jones berbunyi begini

*berada di bibir bibir rectum*

cayalah! quote of the week. takpun, quote of a lifetime! script terbaik. mampu menjulang oscar mahupun grammy. tak pun anugerah bintang popular. mahupun anugerah era. ok stop.

lalala~

okay, patutnye, scene ni semua cemas. kuda dibawa dengan ganas sekali. seperti dunia hampir berakhir dan kamilah wiranya. kuda menyelit sana dan sini. tempat terdekat ialah pejabat indiana jones.

'kedekut kedekut kedekut' itulah bunyi kuda berlari. oh, kecik kecik dulu orang ajar bunyi macam tu.

tibe sahaje, indiana jones tinggalkan kuda dan fokuskan diri untuk terus bertahan supaye tidak tercicir ape ape sehinggalah ke lubang magik (magic hole) di bilik magic. sementara menunggu indiana jones berpoye poye di bilik magic itu, kami sekeluarge bergambar sambil menari nari teletubbies di tepi jalan. bak kate cerite 3 idiots,

"all is well, all is well"

indiana jones kembali dengan muke yang lebih wangi. lebih confident. lebih bersemangat dari biase. its good news. jembalang di bilik magic berjaye ditewaskan. even harry potter tak boleh kalah-kan. hooray!

*serius, penulis maybe mengalami tekanan perasaan*

malam itu, kami ke rumah kak aini, untuk mengambil ikan bilis dan menghantarnye pulang. oh lupe pula, sebenarnye kak aini bersame dengan kami sejak di spencer lagi. so berjaye menjadi anak sulung dalam indiana jones series. kak aini merupakan rakan sekerja enkhai. pulang ke istana, kami ingin menge-prank enkhai, tapi tidak berjaye. aku menunggu sampai pukul 4 pagi. tiade berite. rupe rupenye enkhai tertidur.

monday

aku bangun pukul 8 pagi, tengok semua dah bangun. dari kerusi maharaja itu aku pindah ke dalam bilik yang beraircond. actually ruang tamu, bilik perempuan, bilik lelaki bilik enkhai semua ber-aircond. sukenye aku! dekat katil tu aku baring. fadhil disebelah. ku peluk erat. eh, bantal itu ke peluk erat. pukul 930pg, aku terbangun. terdengar suare zati terjerit macam sawan. "kobondo ni jang?" bisik hatiku yang masih sedap tidur. tibe tibe die masuk bilik dan berlari lari seperti dikejar hantu. oh enkhai rupenye hantu tu.

aku pun terus bangun nak tengok ape terjadi. enkhai nampak aku di-spray-nye aku bubbles apentah yang orang selalu gune bile nak sambut birthday. aku kaget. terus tercelik mate aku. sarapan dah siap. so dengan muke yang penuh tidak kemandian itu, kami makan. saye tekankan, muke yang penuh tidak kemandian itu merujuk kepada setiap manusia dalam rumah itu. sekian.

kami bergelak ketawa. makan bersungguh sungguh. nasi lemak la katekan. sedapnye. haha. lalu disambung dengan aktiviti menge-bluff buat sesi terakhir hari itu. ternyata, indiana jones pandai menge-bluff.

kemudian, kami semua pulang. mulenye dengan fadhil, yaya dan wani. aku, sanusi dan zati yang konfirm konfirm tak mandi lagi terus mengikot nak menghantar mereka ke train station. lepas menghantar mereka, kami ke satu pusat technology macam-MSC-macam-tu-kot? nak makan. lunch la kate orang putih. dekat situ segala makanan ade. kfc, mcd, pizza hut, subway bla bla bla. aku makan la mcd ngan subway. mengidam. dapat juga ku sentuh sundae, fillet-o-fish dan lain lain. then, tibelah, aku dan zati pulang meninggalkan sanusi dan en khai setelah mencuci diri di rumah enkhai.

terima kasih diucap. sayang diberi. niat sudah termetri.

"nanti kitaorang datang lagi!"

oh, akhirnye, habis juga menaip. penat.

****

eh, nampaknye aku menaip post ini dengan penuh rase gembire. dunia sangat indah. macam semua cantik. semua sempurna. tapi orang lain semua tak tawu, yang aku jahat gile babi sampai dipublickan ke-babi-an aku di blog.

tahniah. okay, baik aku mengaku.

im that big-o-bastard who have that f*ckin' attitude. got that?

most probably aien knew that anyway. haha.

hari itu belum tiba

2010-03-25T14:01:00.000-07:00

a simple post from me.

sometime, i wished i was standing at the end of the road. at its very edge. where a cliff waiting for my escape. and its the same time everyone shouted 'stop'. so i could believe they actually care about me. appreciating me for what i was.

but again, suicide is never ever ever ever become an answer for anything. not even an option to be thought of.

lesson gained after watching 3 idiots

belum hari esok

2010-03-23T05:04:00.000-07:00

oh, tibe tibe aku semangat nak tulis. bukan ape, todays incident was something. i didn't imagine that would happen before. Alhamdulillah. aku tak nak sambung previous entry lagi. masih malas. tapi aku rajin nak tulis (juga sinonim bagi menge-type dalam konteks ini) benda yang keluar akan topik. biase-lah, aku memang gemar keluar topik pabila diajak sembang. cerita pasal driving pun boleh end up cerita pasal tahi. cerita pasal assignment pun boleh keluar pasal dubur.

*oh, itu assignment anatomy aku memang pasal lubang dubur, tak kire-lah kan?*

cerita pasal dubur keluar pasal video sex. jangan pelik, jangan risau. ini bukan lucah. ade lah seorang minah yang aku rapat, baik-lah juga, yang open-minded macam aku, tapi masih innocent. silap, die SANGAT innocent. hoho.

*sesiape terase, tolong-lah perasan bahawa penulis sedang menekankan ke-innocent-an anda*

oh, saudari ini memberikan sehelai link youtube menceritakan akan ejaculatory phase. apa itu?

alah-mak~

susah la aku nak terangkan. kalau tak paham, sudi sudi lah ber-ym dengan aku. akan aku terangkan dengan lebih mendalam tanpa rase segan dan silu dan penuh dengan term medic. unsur romantik boleh dimasukkan ikut pemintaan. okay. macam melalut. maaf.

aku amatlah kagum dengan video itu. bukan ape, sangat kreatif. oleh kerana pemahaman aku terhadap bab ini agak..okay-lah~, so aku tergelak gelak menonton video itu ibarat menonton star world, monday night laughs. seperti sitkom everybody love raymond lah, two and a half men lah,the 70s show lah, macam macam-lah.

*no wonder my mind is opening like garbage truck, haha*

okay, melalut lagi. kembali ke video yang hebat itu. aku suke akan moto mamat mamat sperm tuh. okay, sila paham, sperm. tolong lah jangan tanye sperm tu ape. ape kate google? okay, aku terangkan dengan lebih mudah. sperm tu sejenis guli.

HAHA

*bongok*

kalau aku cakap sperm tu sejenis kambing liar di gurun sahara dan hanye meminum yakult dari jepun takkan-lah korang nak percaye. by the way, moto or visi mamat mamat sperm tuh berbunyi sedap macam milo, begini:

fertilize the ovum or die trying!

haha. menarik gile kot. terima kasih akan saudari yang innocent itu. actually, die sedang menyiapkan assignment, aku cube menemani menunjukkan gaye gaye seorang bestie yang sangat baik dan penyayang.

*haha*

end up, she gave those link. oleh kerana dalam kamus 'chamber of secret in the heart' psenk terdapat peribahasa purba dulu kala, which is, sharing is caring, so akan aku share-kan link tersebut dengan kadar percume. bagaimana? memang berbaloi bukan? kalau anda berminat sangat sangat, beli-lah original. nanti pinjam kan dekat aku, okay?

*pinky promise*

****

aku ade bukak blog satu minah ni, entah macam mane suratan takdir kot aku terklik accept add friend dalam facebook. tak kenal, tapi tulis asal klang. orang klang-lah katekan. so, aku mule mule tengok la tarikh lahir die.

"oh, 1993, mude lagi budak ni," bisik hati aku tanpe mengeluarkan sebarang suara untuk mengelak dari arman berperangsangka aku gatal gare gare lame usha page budak tu.

*lah, dah kate bisik, takkan-lah keluar suara pula. macam babun juga-lah bahasa melayu aku*

okay, lalut lagi. argh. sambung sambung. tak de minat-laaaa, dah add, usha la kejap.

*haha, macam takut bini, dan dan je ade alasan*

pastu aku endup clicking her blog link. aku bace-lah dengan sopan santun dan dengan hati yang terbuka. kesian budak tu, kene dump rupenye. so, segala caci maki dikeluarkan.

fuck, bitch, asshole, bla bla bla.

dear readers, do not use those kind of words. it's not good. its ugly not like ugly betty, but ugly as in bruno ugly. ewwww~

*ceh tengok siape menaip-lah*

tapi aku tak salahkan budak tu. ye-lah, macam kene batang hidung sendiri juga-kan. dulu mase tengah sedih sedih, semua nampak busuk. semua nampak kotor. semua itu f word. semua it crap. semua itu tahi. tahi bintang pown tak sekotor begini. bile aku bace balik previous posts aku juga, malu kot. macam perempuan hilang uterus. ceh!

oleh kerana aku bersikap neutral, aku juga menyokong ape kanak kanak kecil umur 17 tahun itu lakukan. ye-lah, dah sedih kan. tak kan lah die nak meronggeng. cume care die kurang lah berkenannye. aku prefer tersirat sirat. barulah melayu. sindir biar pedas, dengan harapan tidak terbalas. haha. tak pun, tanpe menggunakan perkataan perkataan kotor.

oh my God. aku dah melalut gile kot. tanpe alasan, tanpe tujuan mahupun matlamat. tiada destinasi. eh, kenape aku rase macam moto akademi fantasia?

adik adik, sentiase bersabar dalam kehidupan ye. susah macam mane pun, ingat Allah. kite buat ape ape pun ingat Allah. baik buruk ingat Allah.

oh aku lupe, klik lah SINI untuk video yang awesome. maaflah, tak pernah ade subtitle. haha.

hurm. kalau aku buat statement:

"mother called, i cried."

percaye tak?

hari sebelum

2010-03-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

thursday

aku dapat tahu sesungguhnye selase minggu depannye cuti. and, sweeten it up, monday is also a holiday. exam ends on upcoming saturday. so a post-exam trip won't hurt me even a tiny bit. so, mula-lah aku mengade ngade cari member. terhegeh hegeh ke sane sini. made calls from a person to the another. searching for a companion.

it's not that i do not have any friend, but mostly my collegemates are too busy studying. we could say they are a different species from me. no-no. actually, i am the one who is different. weirdo huh? i was in holiday mood. despite this sessional examination was not yet finish. what could i say, it was THE pre-holiday mood.

calling,

nak ke mane? blablabla

end call.

ade segerombolan manusia ingin ke mysore. mysore? not bad at all. kate mereka ade scenery yang menarik. malam dihujani lampu lampu yang cantik. i looked at someone's pictures in facebook before. so, i decided to go to mysore. exam? way in front of those evil-wretched-papers-with-pure-unspeakable-questions.

friday

at night, sanusi mengajak aku ke chennai. agak menarik. tak jadi-lah pergi mysore macam tu kan? i never have the chance to go both place. chennai? why not bisik hatiku? frankly, i didn't know sanusi that well. i never met him. we were in the same college before but we didn't have the chance to spend some time to know each other or even greet each other. but after having keen interest in same certain things, it sped up this thing called friendship. plus, having new friends is never too late.

by the way, human tend to take a swing on every new thing. its a you-won't-know-unless-you-try-philosophy. oh, smokers do obeyed this philosophy. and don't forget about the drug-addict. and also house. i meant dr house. ;)

okay, tibe tibe aku terlompat dan terngarut.

aku mule mule rase bersalah. sebab aku dah macam tak de niat nak pergi dah. sebab segala surat surat untuk keluar hostel tak lepas lagi. kebenaran tak mintak lagi. pathetic isn't it? i am about 21 years old and i've gotta beg to have those damn permission from our lovable dean in order to leave the college even for a couple of days. sigh. but hey, rules are still rules. don't blame em.

*till u break one of em of course, heh*

sanusi dah pancing baik, aku pun macam 'cantik tertarik engkau memang da bomb' jugak-lah-kan.

*abaikan*

die set up dengan izzati aka julia aka senior aku yang tak berape senior. so dengan tibe tibenye, si zati called and said she wanted to go. so, we decided to go together. she settled the tickets without wasting any second.

saturday

exam anatomy dah lepas. bagaimane exam practical anatomy? well. aku dapat stomach aka perut. examiner came and i told him everything i know.

*my dictionary, everything = some/little things*

aku cakap itu-lah, ini-lah, perut 25 cm panjang-lah, bentuk J, horizontal in obese, 2 openings, 2 curvatures, 4 parts, bla bla bla. arterial supply, lymphatic drainage, relations, histology, applied anatomy.nasib-lah, aku dah berusaha. part slide histology, aku kantoi. examiner kate salah slide. i thought it was a liver slide. but still cantik kot aku lukis liver tu. kahkahkah.

oh well, dah lepas. aku keluar dengan senyum hingga ke cuping telinga, terus jumpe dean berbekalkan surat ku coretkan malam tadi dengan berbantalkan bahase inggeris. dean tengah merokok dengan selambe ayam serama jantan berkais pagi makan pagi kais malam dinner-lah pulak, sambil memegang paper berbahasa kannada.

i asked him using english. proper english. ye-lah. kalau kannada, dah sah sah die tau aku memain dalam kelas kannada yang disediakan. tak ke maut nanti. okay, back to topic. and yeah, he rejected me. he asked me to check the calender from his assistant because a group of somebody somebody from the government will be coming and he didn't want nobody leave the hostel.

i was like "what the f--". it stopped. the ticket has been bought. i'll be going later in the evening. by hook or crook, dammit, i'll go.

*oh, macam dramatik. macam hero nak mati. ceh*

aku checked dengan encik khai, our big boss in india. one of the officer at the malaysia consulate in chennai. rumah yang berhormat ini-lah yang aku nak crash nanti. hoho. die kate, line clear. confirmation attained. then aku jumpe dean, kene marah. aisehmen, tak boleh belah. nak je lompat ke batu belah batu bertangkup. tapi tak nak, ingat orang tersayang. sile-lah pakai seatbelt.

*sila abaikan, sekali lagi*

dean scolded me because i didn't check the calender which the one he insisted just now. so, i went back again (office), talked my way through and saw the damn calender. took a really long time analyzing the calender so i wont be bother to look again at the calender if something goes wrong. it stated that the 'thing' will be on upcoming weekend. not the same weekend.

argh.

wasted my time. confronted him again, and he still said no. i was speechless. the pandora box of mine emptied. those anger of mine before still lingering, sparking. waiting to become one hell of a furious fireball. i took a deep breath and kept my head cool. let the oxygen washed my brain. started with sighing. then continued with a lot of talking. after 5 minutes talking to him, he changed his mind. that made me a better. a lot.

aku pun terus balik hostel. sementare ade mase, aku pun menyinggah ke gerai bebudak dental ab shetty. they involved in some charity event. bebudak malaysia yang buat. aku pun ape lagi, join-lah tengok. why not? i heard they were selling cendol and kek batik. well, hearing the word c-e-n-d-o-l and k-e-k-b-a-t-i-k sure stimulate all the major and minor glands of saliva production. conditional reflex. haha. lame kot tak makan? aaaa~

*abaikan ke-mengade-an penulis*

then off i went to mangalore city. macam batman selalu cakap,

"to the batmobile! eh bukan, to the train station!"

*okay, abaikan*

had lunch dengan nash in pizza hut then met zati at the train station. she bought the ticket like i told you before. cost around rm150++, two ways which was an air conditioned sleeper cabin ticket. not bad. it took 18 hours. done everything i could. watched house, movies, surfed internet bla bla bla. and slept like a log the whole night.

sunday

sampailah. dekat 9 pagi. hampir kene tipu dengan tukang tukang auto. mintak rm 25. bertenggek kat luar stesen. macam kerbau hitam menunggu rumput rumput bergerak diimport dr new zealand.

argh.

*abaikannnnn!*

sedangkan bile pergi kedai prepaid auto, rm 8.50 je. tak ke nak mintak penampar putaran wanita yang seksis?

*aaaa, abaikan lagi*

so, sampailah rumah encik khai.

alamak penat-lah, nanti sambung. banyak nye aku gune kata akar 'abai'. signifies something?

huuu~ misteri-nye~

*giggle*

semangat

2010-03-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

ok, i was suppose to talk something about my awesome trip to chennai, but let me postpone that. aku rase macam nak demam, and i can't post anything well with my current state. gile dan gelige jugak otak aku. mane tak-nye, da tau rase macam nak demam, aku dah bantai air red bull sejuk, mountain dew, susu lembu dalam packet then aku gabungkan dengan nescafe mild 3in1, tambahan pula dengan air mango slice botol sejuk jugak. paling tak boleh belah-an, aku masih pasang air conditioner. hoho. terbaik di situ.

ok, enough beatin' around the bush.

in the train, and yes, i meant the 18 hours train, i could online my facebook via snaptu. a nice application using my touch screen, sony ericsson aino to navigate my facebook, twitter and a lot more. well, i've been messaging my teacher via facebook. she was very nice to me when i was in 1st and 2nd grade. okay, she is the best teacher ever.

somewhere in my previous post, posted about the felling of not having someone to talk to, hence, i turned to my mum. yes, there's no other as good as your mum. she called me one day, and i confessed everything. let it all out. about my laziness, exams, bla bla bla. my mother was actually worried about me. i know. i should stop making her worry. i'm a grown man.

*yeah right*

my mother and the teacher know each other. they talked. about me obviously. and the teacher sent me messages. and somehow, it lit the spirit-candle-or-what-cha'-ma-call-it. taken by D5000 Nikon DLSR, sure is nice.

entah-lah. aku rase aku perlu jadi seorang doktor. hurm. i mean a really good one. insyaAllah.

*masih pening*

argh.

kalau-lah

2010-03-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

hidup ini senang, nak je aku beli segala benda yang aku inginkan. impikan. mahukan. nafsu tu, semua manusia ade, bezenye siape yang tunduk akannye. bertuhankan nafsu.

*isn't that sick?*

mase aku kecik kecik dulu, bile aku dengar pasal perogol je buat aku seram. seram sangat. sangat seram. tak kesahlah die rogol perempuan ke, lelaki ke, bebudak ke, masih seram. lepas tu, menambahkan ke-extreme-ian aku, pihak berita, majalah or so-called-press-and-publishers tulis bende bende yang boleh melariskan buku, majalan dan akhbar mereka dengan menulis tentang manusia yang sangat bernafsu ini. dont get me wrong, bagi aku, kalau bernafsu makan tu, aku pahamla dengan alasan aku pernah merasainye, tapi the other lust? tak pernah pulak, mintak jauh.

ok, aku terbebel jauh. yelah, perkataan bertuhankan nafsu amat menakutkan aku. aku tahu betapa kuatnye kuasa nafsu itu. gile kot. kalau tak sebab nafsu, berape ramai manusia leh jd gile. gile kaye, gile seks, gile makan, gile babi kot~

ok. aku pun tak tahu kenape aku kene merepek kat sini. moral value untuk hari ini, jauhi nafsu. take control. u'r THE man. got it?s

****

ok, congratulation for reading those advice-y articles above. it is so NOT me. argh. well, i thought it'll be a great idea to share this tiny piece of my mind. i thought about this thing on the train to chennai. it was 18 hours trip.

*i know, way too long. argh. thank God its a sleeper cabin with air conditioner.*

well, i didn't tell everything about this (above) thing. next time, i'll be talking my trip to awesome chennai.

i don't

2010-03-12T12:43:00.000-08:00

dont worry. as far as im concerned,

i really don't care

but i do care about Amal tho. i wish somebody will punch that stupid vege real good. no matter my dear lil' sis, i hope that teddy of yours can wipe your tears. temporary of course. wait till then. i'm coming! i don't know why, but she posted a picture that reminds me a lot of good o days. faster-lah, i wanna go back home. even aien begged me. lol.

oh wait, violent doesnt solve anything. sorry. bad-mouthing is more than enough. God, give us patience in everything.

tamat

2010-03-06T03:43:00.000-08:00

kehadapan artis hampir jadi kegilaan ku,

Lee Min Jung.

kite tidak boleh bersame lagi.

aku tahu aku tidak bersungguh sungguh menjage hatimu. aku tidak pernah melayan mu sepenuh hati. aku memang sebegini.

maaf.

mungkin aku perlu ruang untuk berfikir, mungkin ruang untuk melengkapkan diri ini,

kerna men-due-kan mu.

inilah kekasih baru ku. aku tahu aku curang. terimalah maaf aku ketika masih ikhlas.

tidak kah comel die ini? melihat pertama kali, buat hati berdegup kencang. engkau mungkin kate aku homosexual? oh tidak. aku tidak pernah melakukan hubungan sejenis. maybe pernah bersentuhan. meraba raba. cubit mencubit. serta memotong kulitnya. tidak lupe juge memegang perut, usus serta peparu.

die sentiase ade untuk aku. hari hari bertemu dengannye. kadang kadang aku bosan. buat tangan aku melekit lekit gare dier sentiase berenang di dalam lautan formalin. tidak ade manusia sempurna bukan?

perkara terbaik, die tidak pernah menyakitkan hati aku. eh, kejap, maybe pernah melukakan tangan daku kerna terkena tulang rusuk nye yang sudah patah. mungkin aku terlalu excited untuk melihat peparunye tapi die tak pernah memarahi aku setiap kali aku terpotong uratnye.

die sentiase memberikan aku senyuman walaupun tiada gigi untuk menghiasi dan hanye lidah terjulur keluar tanda terima kasih darinya.

minggu ni,

minggu terakhir kite bersama.

terima kasih.

aku tahu itu semua lakonan.

NOT yours,

bekas kipas-susah-mati-anda

****

"nenek, tibe tibe balong rindu nenek. teringat akan ikan goreng sambal nenek bersame nasi putih yang masih panas. dan telur goreng mate kerbau dijadi penambah selera pada pukul 11 malam. tidak lupe kicap kipas udang ataupun bilal. sambil menonton televisyen, bergossip dan menjamu selera, balong tahu, nenek lah yang selalu menjage hati ini!

oh. rindulah nenek. sigh~"

real punch

2010-03-03T18:48:00.000-08:00

everyone has somebody. literally.

when they are in trouble in life, they talk to their partner.

when they are in trouble with their partner, they talk to their best friend.

when they are in trouble with their best friend, they talk to their friends.

when they are in trouble with their friends, they talk to their partner.

it repeats.

but i wonder, why the hell am i feeling this way. it's like i don't have anybody else to talk to. oh God.

****

the word appreciation is a taboo for me. it's not i'm not appreciative. but i have a feeling, no one appreciate me.

*boo-hoo*

it sounds so like a little-baby-who-wanted-attention-and-love-from-everyone. argh.

based on my experience, if you are appreciated, your name will be written on a board. your name will be written on a piece of paper. your name also will be written in someone's heart. yeah, i know! damn corny! yourself will be interpreted and will become one of the wave transmitted in the neurons of the brains and become someone's fond memories. isn't that nice?

now, names are put or mentioned in facebook, friendster, myspace and blogs. it's a simple way to be saying 'i love you ____ but i'm totally not a lesbian/gay/into you'.

okay, just assume that i agree to the statement above.

so, in facebook, i was appreciated. checked.

so, in friendster, was i? oh, i don't have friendster account anymore. not appreciated. checked.

how about in blog? this is the irony part. erm..

like hell i'm going to tell you guys. argh

i don't know about this appreciative thing-y. maybe i should listen 'i'm not okay' again and again. or maybe i am a spoiled-fuckin'-emo-bastard. phew. done here. gotta go for class.

p/s: there's no ha-ha in this post. damn.

honk

2010-03-01T09:41:00.000-08:00

it was dark. no lights. road seemed nice. no holes. no bumpers. he thought it was safe to cross the road. wait, he changed his mind. he was scared. stupid ghost stories start to popped up like pop corn in the making.

he looked left and right. not even a glimpse of light can be seen. how the hell could he be not so sure whether there was a single car nor motorbike or not. he started sweating. yet it cooled off thanks to the chilly breeze.

he was really scared. he started to jerk his leg muscle. his right was in motion. left was behind, then in split second, the left leaving the right. then, it was the other way around. it continued. crossing the road, he was.

'hooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnk'

'screeeeeeeeeched~'

he was too late. it was a big machina, in momentum. no lights, no warning. now he realized, he was a part of the law of the conservation of momentum. a newton's pet. the third law.

'bang!'*

the best part? this became his song.

i wake up. start again. ;)

*a sound that everybody should know. high pitched sometimes. just like a trumpet searching for his clarinet. *haha. i'm just making it up.*

**this is the best sound effect ever. four letters. dozen of meanings.

air kosong

2010-02-28T10:19:00.000-08:00

i was wondering why my weekend seems to be an 'end' instead of 'and'.

well i doubt it has anything to do with the word end in weekend.

rase kosong.

i wonder why. i seem lost everything.

seorang hamba Allah ni, pernah berkata,

"tak semua yang engkau nak, engkau boleh dapat. tak semua engkau mimpi, engkau boleh dapat. tak semua engkau pinta, engkau boleh terima."

maybe, i didn't work hard enough

maybe, i wanted something that no one can give

maybe, JUST maybe, i am an attention-seeker-bastard

*scratching head*

"entah kenape, weekend ni kosong"

i suppose, i am thirsty. hurm.

even air kosong tastier than this.

sigh~

experiment

2010-02-20T14:13:00.000-08:00

semenjak due menjak aku melayan series House, aku dah nampak kepayahan dan kecipanan yang perlu dilalui. kalau aku dapat jawatan macam die, memang penghujungnye mati dan hidup je. ntah kenape aku tengok kematian tu melompat lompat macam arnab cari lobak merah. bajet comel. argh. boleh mati klu study and pandai macam tu? kenape dieorang boleh?

House did everything including cheating, breaking someone's houses or even making the patient suffer in order to make them realize the mistake they have made. i suppose that's a good quality in him?

talking about experimentation, my sessionals exam is just around the corner.

*mak aih, exam lagi. da muak. nak termuntah muntah macam orang mengandung.*

i know, i shouldn't say that. i've been lazy and i should give a little push of my not-so-effort-nowadays. banyak kene bace. malas tu satu hal lah. tak payah cakap, semua orang tahu aku malas. i guess, that is why most of them said, medic is challenging. well, for me maths is way better challenging and fun to, but then, i stop turning back for what i've chosen. anyway, there's still time.

bereksperimentasi perlukan hipotesis. secare jujurnye, aku da lame tak nanges. making these eyeballs or so called 'kannu' in kannada moist is what those lacrimal glands exist for. making the eyes watery and killing those bacteria-scumbags!

*i sounded like a stupid 5 years old cartoon, becoming an anti-bacterial team? oh, i do sound like a moron*

stimuli? korean drama. sad scenes to be exact. the sadder the scene, the more gland works! nice hypothesis eh? aku da lame sangat tak nanges. so aku ingat kalau aku watch cerite yang KONONNYE menyayat hati, maybe aku boleh nanges macho. let that one drop of tear slide down along my uneven cheek. aku rase percubaan ini berjaya.

*why the uneven cheeks because of scars, pimple scars, haha*

then it touches the lips of mine. then it slides again thanks to newton's finding about gravity. reaches the chin and it touches the big and flabby hip of mine. selalu nye, pabila melihat cerite sedih, adelah tetibe mate aku nak berair. mungkin bakteria? mungkin mengade?

but today, it went out. it became abnormal for me. if i was to diagnose it, i'll say the lacrimal gland is outta of its mind.

*its signal was obviously from my brain. argh*

the gland secreted a droplet. smooth it went from the right eye and splatted on the right hip of mine. isk isk isk. ntah ape kene aku ari ni. rase tak menarik. its actually not something to talk about publicly though. rase macam sissy. haha. i suppose so. i should think that.

so? what is the inference? aku ingat lagi, mase UPSR, subjek sains. soalan dok ulang ulang.

berikan inferens anda.

nyatakan inferens anda.

jika anda setuju dengan pernyataan ini, berikan inferens.

haha. darjah 6 besh. tak payah pikir ape ape. tinggal nak balik, wat homework, main game, berenang, ngaji, tido, esok g sekolah jumpe kawan kawan. tup tup tup. da habes da UPSR. haaaa~

maaf kite terlajak sembang. apekah konklusi yang boleh kite fikirkan hari ini?

tipu or maybe kurang tepat:

aku ni sebenarnye banyak estrogen kot? sebenarnye aku perempuan? takkan-lah aku nak cakap sebenarnye aku miss universe and aku twin prinyaka chopra?

er..w..wha-what the f-?

benar dan agak tepat:

i still have those soft spot. i thought i bleached my heart thoroughly. but of course its metaphorically. its there. and somewhere, hidden in this stupid heart of mine. i don't know if it will keep on bringing more trouble or guiltiness, or sadness. muke da ganas. buruk abes. tinggal hati keras je. ntah kenape ntah hati aku ade lembut lembut sket. ntah tak simen betol betol kot? ke bancuh simen tak betol? tak pown, ade kegiatan rasuah siape amik projek keraskan hati aku? macam kejadian stadium yang roboh tibe tibe tu? please la jangan kate sebab angin. urgh. mati aku camni.

nak keras-lah. nak jadi pandai!

nak jadi genius. sekali bace boleh masuk, and won't come out either!

frust kejap. tak bermakne give up juga~

ok, tamat eksperimen hari ini. kanak kanak, sila basuh tangan sebelum makan. bubye~

*****

kehadapan artis pujaan saye,

Lee Min Jung,

awak sangat sweet.

comel tidak terkira.

your acting? superb.

sila jadikan saye fan no 1 awak.

yang gila,

betul betul secret admirer awak.

*nose bleed*

*****

a note

2010-02-16T13:00:00.000-08:00

i saw this note in a drawer.

damn it girl. you've done it.

you made it your way. you made everything become in favor of yours. argh!

oh my God. you make me sick.

what kind of drug are you?

CRAP!

i am addicted to you.

see? now i'm good in publishing short post. give me some words and i can mix and blend 'em to become numbers of sentences just like making different kind of ice blended. i know. my grammar sucks, BIG TIME!

there's a lot in my mind right now. my brain as if it was bombarded by million of electrons like gamma ray. billion of impulses., too much too think so little time. final is coming. june to be exact. three more months.

things in my mind right now that i wanted to put in a post and publish it:

-hao min's birthday

-unwanted relationship

-killing others

-doctors' responsibilities

-facebook-ing

-and lots more

i don't know why i'm not putting it now and whether i will be putting those thing in my blog or not. haha. i am busy. busy watching Smile, You. haha. i know. i am a typical korean drama fan. well, it helps a lot with my always-down-and-miserable mood. huhu.

so, i am busy. hoho.

p/s: thank God nobody knows that drawer is in my cardiovascular. haha~

quote

2010-02-13T11:08:00.000-08:00

あなたは迷惑なことわけじゃない。

anatawa meiwaku na koto wake jyanai

oh, ibuku pernah berkata, jikalau kau terlalu gembire, terlalu akan gelak ketawe, nescaye, penghujungnye amatlah jauh dari bahagia, dan tangis merupakan pendampingnya.

'in'-to-'rest'-ing

2010-02-08T02:30:00.000-08:00

third exam finished. i'm grateful for what i've got. it was a product of burned midnight oil, the eleventh hour kind of study and bla bla bla. thank you again mr bacteria for the comforting fever. without you, my life wouldn't be happier like now.

*it was a sarcasm just so to let you know*

february is a no-no-no exam month. and also no-no-no-valentine-day. this is great!

but the not so great thing-y is about mr icici-stupid-little-bank. he is so slow in processing my damn allowance. it's been 2 weeks. my bank account reached 87 rupee. it's damn a lot RIGHT?! crap! my sanity is thinning like putting heparin in my blood to reduce blood clot. dear mr icici bank, you better be quick or else!

*yeah right, like threatening them will make them scareeeeee to the death and work faster than usual. bleh~*

india is known for their slow and bad service. no no. that's rude. it is known for their REALLY slow and REALLY bad service. it is a fact. don't argue with me. well i might have the wrong impression because maybe unfortunately, i can't find anyone who works fast enough to catch my attention and make me swallow back my rude statement just now for the past 7 months living here. do imagine, internet connection, banking, buying things, administrating, custom, police. argh. they took their time long enough. i know.

'biar lambat asalkan selamat'

but this is totally a different thing. for a stupid signature from the police chief, we had to wait for 30 minutes and that was when we were THE first in the line. is that even possible? pathetic i tell you dealing with them. they took their damn time long enough, yet, they were still doing stupid mistakes? what the heck? it pisses me off everyday.

yadayada. i know. keep on whining. regarding the term whining, i read others' blog which in fact full of whining like me. some bloggers liked to curse others. some wanted to whine and in hoping their post could reach the reader's heart or soul~

*haha*

and some wanted to be a merchant, selling their stuff (perfume, sweater, handbag, etc). i didn't say it's wrong and i am definitely not insulting those kind of bloggers. it's your damn blog right? keep on writing. if i like it, and i'll continue to read it. simple, thus, less complicated

*what the hell i was trying to say anyway? haha*

agree?

oh, aku rase aku macam da terpesong dari cerite sebenar. sebab semalam aku bace blog kepunyaan member aku. die kate ramai sungguh blogger. jenis jenis blogger kat dunia ni. yang nak buat dwet la, yang nak kutuk orang la, yang nak tunjuk kasih sayang tak terhengat dekat ahli keluage die la, nak cerita masalah die yang kononnye banyak macam orang lain tak de la. oh, part hujung macam kene batang hidung sendiri. aduh. so what? yang penting kite happy bukan? hee.

'kalau anda gembire tepuk tangan,

kalau anda gembira tepuk tangan,

kalau anda gemibira beginilah caranya,

kalau anda gembira tepuk tangan'

*clap clap!*

today, i announced this glorious day as the sexual abusing day. victims? yours truly. and some other guys in my class. haha. reading the previous sentence sure make u wonder why the heck am i laughing when it comes to a taboo topic like sexual abuse right?

*padahal tak de orang bace pown, tak pe, teruskan perasan*

today is the human laboratory. to be specific it's under physiology lab. today's class is palpating, inspecting, auscultating and finding the apex beat. the apex of subject's heart.

palpating = 'meraba'

*what a nice word eh?*

so, the victims/subjects are the guys. obviously. they need to remove their shirt and because the so-called-man have rudimentary nipples so they shouldn't be shy. HAHA. gile geli bace ayat ni. the guys kept on pointing towards each other for the first 10 minutes early in the class. avoiding from becoming the CHOSEN one for the each girl's group. i meant the CHOSEN FIVE. macam power rangers tak? haha. suddenly the head of department walked in and randomly chose 5 guys. and that my friend, including me.

(-_-")

too many things happened. felt like being raped

*yeah, right. as if i have been raped before.ceh~*

the girls had difficulty of finding my apex beat. they touched everywhere. i suppose this is the part where all men should say

"i like it!"

"do it again!"

"oh my, what a nice skin/fingers u have there"

*oh my, seriously, my stupid imagination. buaye buaye~ geleng geleng*

but hey, i'm not like that. i didn't say i like it but at the same time i didn't say i despise it.

*okay macam pintal*

padma came to my table and made a 'pancing' sentence:

"maybe you guys can't find his apex beat because he has a thick chest."

i don't know if that was a compliment or the opposite, it made me embarrassed. they are all girls for God sake. they were checking my chest. aaaa~

*ok stop!*

oh, fyi, in my todays group, all of them were girls because lot of the guys bunked the class for their cultural festival. so 4 girls molested me and gave me a trauma. oh i forgot, padmie the meanie joined for awhile makes it 5 girls. aaaaa~

cure for the trauma?

a thirty five rupee snickers and pooofft!

i'm back to myself again.

interesting day eh?

p/s:banyak sangat kesalahan vocabulary and grammar aku, tapi malaslah~ maaf ye~

Rasa

2010-02-04T12:10:00.000-08:00

jam pada skrin lappy ku menunjukkan pukul 815 malam.

"oh dinner!"

selalu nye, mase ni mesti aku rase besh. makan sedap. hati gembire. sayangnya hari ini hari khamis.oh daku benci hari khamis. tiada seketul daging untuk diratah. tiada ayam untuk dikunyah. argh. gler tak seronok macam nie. menu hari ini? speechless. selalunye hari selase, khamis dan sabtu merupakan antara hari hari dimana makanan mess hall (juga dikenali sebagai dewan makan ataupun dining hall) adalah antara tidak tersedap di dunia. saye ulang didunia! bukan alam semesta.

*ok agak exaggerate di situ. but at least you got my drift aite?*

dan pade hari hari inilah, aku selalu keluar pergi menikmati masakan kedai di sekitar Deralakatte di Mangalore, India ni. Selalunye ditemani oleh Arman dan Nash. cakap je name tempat, Chef, Bake n Joy, Dosa Point, Planet Cafe. terima kasih kepada JPA dan bank bank di India kerana lambat masukkan elaun ku, maka merase la aku makanan mess itu yang xsedap. dengan alasan terpakse. OMG. sangat tak sedap.

dalam dewan makan, aku termenung dekat chapati diberi. aku tak kate chapati tak sedap. sedap je. kalau diberi kuah sebetulnya, yang kene taste aku, da lame aku bantaikan. jumlah chapati adalah 3. 3 adalah bilangan biasa bagi seorang yang kurus. so kalau aku yang gemok nie amek, kire diet la kan? pape jela.

kuah kacang kuda amatla menarik. warnenye, rasenye, bentuknye. dengar perkataan kuda je da buat aku menyampah. HAHA.

"what the heck, makan je la"

ku koyak chapati kepada 4 bahagian. ambik 1st part, ku tonyoh tonyoh kuah. mampos la sedap ke tak. 2nd part ku tonyoh lg sekali. tibe tibe terase tak sedap yang teramat. ambik la bawang merah mentah yang disediakan. ku makan la begitu sahaja. same la seperti makan sate. beawang merah dipotong untuk di makan bersama sama sate. sedap bukan? macam tu la rase die. 3rd part ku cedok sekali dengan kacang kuda. sumber protein la kate kan. kene push diri.

urgh. jahanam lidah aku. nanti kalau aku balik Malaysia, tak nak aku beli kacang kuda rebus. aku ban awal awal. argh. siot!

so aku selang selikan bawang, kuah serta kacang kuda itu. orang kate makan mende simple, mesti la kacang je. tapi aku rase kali nie kacang memang bawak maut. kalau kentang, memang aku bantai punye. name pun kentang, gile kentang beb.

tengah makan, tetibe terpikir ape bebudak tengah makan. si arman ngan hao min makan dekat luar, aku duk terbayang ape dieorang makan. sedap ke tidak. air cold coffee ke, pepsi ke, 7up. pergh. meleleh aku. jam da tunjuk kul 845. gle slow lah aku makan. selalu kejap je. hari nie memang amik mase. sebelum kunyah, observed chapati gila babun.

nak makan ke tak nak?

nak sumbat ke tak nak?

nak muntah kan ke tak nak?

mase tu la aku terasa kejam. bapak hine. makanan aku wat macam tu. ade yang tak cukup makan. ade yang takde makanan. gle dramatik insaf dalam mess hall.

untuk menjadikan lebih dramatik ku pujuk hati ni
"hati, hati~ sabar ye. esok kite breakfast. takde la sedap sangat, tapi ok la"

hatiku keras rupenye. haha.
"tak mahu tak mahu"

mengade sungguh. rase nak sepak sepak je. tapi, violence is not the best way in peace making situation. lalu ku pancing lagi hati ini
"esok tengah hari makan sedap, ade makan telur. sabar ek? mane tawu, duit masuk esok ke? kite doa la malam nie"

akhirnya, pujuk bagai nk gle, baru hati rase sedap. sudah pukul 9. semua chapati ku sumbat. nak bagi kenyang, ku sumbat segale air sejuk ke dalam tekak aku. terus rase kenyang.

hasil? aku tidur kat atas katil berbantalkan physiology. terkangkang, terbukak. naseb baik salivary gland aku tak mengade ngade nak secrete lebeh plak. kalau tak, naya aku buku tu berbau. haha.
*wah, macam experience. haha*

so ape moral value? haaa. kalau anda rase anda berada dalam kesusahan. when you think its unbearable, or you have been push to to the limit, think again. its just a state of mind. you can do it. sebab ramai lagi manusia yang rase kesusahan hundreds time, harder than yours. so sile happy.

mesti pelek gaye penulisan aku yang macam anjing baik ini bukan? good puppy gitu. tak de la. asyik emo je. so lets change. not permanent but at least i will keep on struggling to change for good.

opposite

2010-01-31T13:13:00.000-08:00

now, i know how to lie without feeling guilty.

isn't that remarkable? bleh~

is that consider a good thing?

observe.

i said i'm fine when everything is not a-okay~

i said i'm cool when i was not at that time.

i said i'm not hungry when the growl sound of this belly of mine could be heard miles away.

*that's a little exaggerating don't you think?*

the best lie for today *i think its the best though* is..

i typed 'haha'

but the truth is,

i was speechless seeing that thing popped up on the screen.

shocked. but i like it.

i'm getting better in this particular thing huh? haha~

*see, i'm doing it again*

Dinding

2010-01-29T11:04:00.000-08:00

Dinding itu cantik.

Tapi jika dipenuhi tapak tapak kasut. Cantik?

Dinding itu cantik.

Tapi jika dipenuhi dengan krayon. Cantik?

Dinding itu cantik.

Tapi jika dipenuhi dengan "Ahmad gigolo..012434****". Cantik?

Dinding itu cantik.

Tapi jika dipenuhi dengan kahak si peludah. Cantik?

Nak tahu ape paling cantik?

Dinding dipenuhi dengan darah kepala ku sendiri.

HAHAHA~

Rasa rasa macam kena layan lagu My Chemical Romance 'I'm Not Okay'.

Sesat

2010-01-26T11:07:00.000-08:00

aku sesat. esok exam anatomy. practical. aku tak tawu kenape aku sesat. semenjak semalam. dont tell me i am that easy to be influenced by my own emotion? am i? seriously? ala. masalah la macam ni. nanti kalau aku jadi doc nanti, kene marah ngan senior sikit, tak kan la aku endup cucuk botox kat bayi kot. argh. bangsat la.

fed up lah cam ni. kalau nak kate aku lost tu sampai tak nak bukak buku tu aku paham la. ye la kan, kate da lost, make tidak lah bersemangat hendaknye nak membukak buku yang setebal 600 muke surat. ini tidak, aku da bukak buku, aku da cube hafal segala yang boleh. at the end of the day, all gone. haram jadah. argh.

aku tawu la otak aku ni kadang kadang gear rendah. masalahnye, ak da start berusaha kot. aku da berusaha, last last macam nie. exam la esok. aku tawu la theory paper aku dah macam confirm fail, time kaseh la atas encik bacteria dan virus wat aku demam. but still.

frustnye aku.

jeng.jeng.jeng.

aku tawu, tak baik cakap sebegitu. Allah tentukan rezeki masing masing. yang penting berusaha. hmm. maybe aku silap cakap cakap macam nie. takpe. aku wat la ape yang aku boleh. besok besok, berusaha lebih sikit.

ntahla. asyik emo je. macam mane ni. silap silap, esok botak, banyak sangat fikir.

rejuvenate. penting tu. tak pe, esok last paper. what ever come out tomorrow, aku try jawab. tak leh nak jawab, aku senyap. nak score lagi 2 sessionals. heh. macam tu la kan? bersemangat.

cik nadhiah yang manis berkata padaku
"tak pe. jangan push sangat. kite belajar kerana Allah. sabar."

aku rase ramai dah cakap macam tu. tapi bile die cakap, ntah bagaimane, aku rase tenang. hmm.
terima kaseh pade nye yang sanggup membalas text aku. haha. macam tawu je aku lonely. haha.

yes. tak give up. takkanlah nak give up. gler bodoh macam tu.
at least tak nak jadi sampah masyarakat.

resume

2010-01-26T03:11:00.000-08:00

name saya alkasim jendol bin ahmad pintu
umur saya 21 tahun
saya asal langkawi
saya suke langkawi

untuk maklumat tuan, biarpown baru mencapai umur 21, saya pernah bekerja di

1.ahmad rubber factory, kg delek, klang
-penoreh getah berkaliber
-dibuang kerja kerana menoreh getah dengan gigi
-method baru itu tidak sesuai untuk dipraktikkan oleh orang lain kerana kebanyakan mereka tiada gigi, maklumlah, warga emas la katekan

2.pembunuh upahan (disclose), vienna, austria
-menjadi fliers kepada pembunuh upahan yang inginkan majikan
-dibuang kerja kerana dengan bangangnya memberi sehelai flier pade pihak polis lalu ditangkap

3.pak ali kedai runcit terhebat, masjid tanah, melaka
-menjadi cashier yang bertauliah
-hampir dinaikkan pangkat gara gara mencipta formula baru pabila mengire untung bersih
-dibuang kerana terlalu jujur dengan customer
-selain tu, salah satu sebab dibuang, hampir membakar kedai tersebut

saya dengan ini meminta tuan untuk memberi saya peluang terhadap jawatan yang tuan sediakan. kerana kesialan saya yang sering memberi nothing but sadness to my employee, saya rase saya adalah candidate paling sesuai.

saya merasakan tukang sampah, angkut sampah, dan segala berkenaan sampah amatlah sesuai dengan saye. maybe, untuk menyedapkan keadaan, saya boleh menggelar diri saya sebagai agent sempah. sempoilah!

seperti saya belajar chemistry, oxidising agent is an agent that helps to oxidisidise others. so, klu agent sampah, saya selalu menukarkan segala yang cantik kepada sampah. trust me, i am really good with that.

jangan risau tuan, saya akan beri 100 peratus komitmen terhadap kerja tukang sampah ini. saya tidak kisah sekiranya orang menyampah. plus, saya masih single gara gara perangai saya yang selalu menyakitkan hati orang lain, maka tidak akan distract dengan mende mende gini.

saya berharap, tuan tidak mensia-siakan post resume ini. siler terime kebodohan saya serta kebaghalan saya.

yang sial,
KASIM

p/s:post xder keje. hahahaha. ini gara2 anat. jeng3~ one more paper bebeh~best gler post aku ke 101 ini. haha

100th

2010-01-22T13:38:00.001-08:00

I need you.

I know u'll be smiling after reading this.

Yes, it is you.

I want you. I really do.

Let this 100th post of mine is simple just like an amoeba or a simpleton like me. Today is the greatest day for 2010..yet. 11 months left. Let us cherish every moment. I'm just happy. InsyaAllah. There'll be a bright future waiting for us.

p/s: Mad, i become. ;p

a letter from a friend

2010-01-21T06:47:00.000-08:00

dear shafiq,

i have something to tell you. a thing that has been kept rotten inside of me. looking at your pathetic face, i know i shouldn't say this. but time is running out. and do forgive me the words i chose is unbearable.

teruk-lah engkau!

engkau da tawu engkau tu byk masalah, study pown malas. cber bukak buku sket. aku tawu engkau boleh bacer buku last minute, sumer boleh masuk. tapi kalau da demam cam aritu, bagaimane exam final? ko nak repeat ker? cam ner ko nak menjawab kat jpa? camner ko nak jawab kat parents ko yang duk menunggu ko bawak berita bahagie kononnyer. shame on you.

bodoh-lah engkau!

engkau tu selalu tak pikir. dulu cakap kat orang, sayerlah pemikir terhebat. dalam negara, luar negara, gosip artis, gosip member, mengumpat sumer pandai. poyo jer. sekarang da kene baru menggelabah. baru la nak mintak maaf sana sini. ko ingat orang suker muker ko yang selalu duduk bertenggek mintak maaf. besok buat lagi. luse buat lg. bapak anjeng la lu mat. eii. bodoh!

now for the climax.

babi-lah engkau!

yang ko macam perempuan ni apahal. tengok cter korea sedeyh sket nak nanges. tgk bersamamu sket nak sebak2. bapak pondan weh. dulu2 bercintan, salah sket nak nanges. aku ingat ko da berubah. sampai sekarang nak nanges? depan laptop nak nanges. ym je kot, da nak nanges. sampai nk g toilet. eh. babila engkau. ak jijik dengan perangai engkau. ko tawu x? JIJIK GILE BABI dengan engkau. wat malu jer. pergi mati r macam ni. penat aku layan engkau.

sorry. i pretty hate myself for not cursing you in english. but this is better right? have a nice day.

p/s:please, do rot in hell.

yours truly,

your altered ego.

fall

2010-01-21T05:15:00.000-08:00

i have a bad dream. a dream that no one will save me. i kept on drowning.

i kept on running. i kept on walking. just to make sure, that i'll survive till the end.

what this end is all about? even i don't know about. does it mean that it is the end when i reach malaysia? is it the end if i found her? is it the end if i become a good doctor? or a professor? is it an END that i was waiting all this time?

fear of being attached is one of the unexplained phenomenon. one may said, this channel opened, action potential, bla bla bla.

i think by this time, someone will ask

"dude! for God sake, what is this dream you're talking about?"

the answer

"lost and forgotten"

details of the dream? sorry, blurry image remained. it is a dream. and i suppose, it's for me. for me to interpret. i don't know what went wrong when each thought of mine was alluring and lovely. such a perfectionist.

bah. i messed up.

p/s:this post was meant not to be understood. thank you for lending your eyes to look and read into something that won't come up in your exam and in your life...at all.

boo me. screw you.

pure happiness

2010-01-14T00:13:00.000-08:00

it's been ages. went back to Malaysia for holiday.

had fun here and there.

went here and there.

spent here and there, too much i'd say.

reached India, the thinking of hectic and cage-like life as a medic student start to scare out of me. exam were postponed to next week. yes. now in class, zombie is my middle name. and also lazy, day dreamer, unhappy, boring, blank and immature are my new middle name.

i have lost my momentum. the momentum i gained after 5 months studying, now it's gone. now i understand. padma told me, "that is why my mother prevented me from going back to malaysia"

that is true. too true indeed.

now i am gaining my strength. bit by bit. every pieces that i can get my hands on, every particles of energy to regain back the old me. hmm. pretty difficult but not impossible. maybe i need more time. do this i shall. yeah!

some interesting fact i wanna share with you guys when i was in malaysia.

the first drink that i had on the day i reached there is red bull. i really missed u dear orange-canned-red bull. i hate the one in india, beside having gas in it, the price and the taste just don't suit me. 75 rupee a lil bit too much even they were made in austria. rm5 for a can? that is just dumb. heh.

i drank ribena at the same night in mcdonald. i missed ribena since the day i arrived in india. they only have nestle' blackcurrant drink. it is not the same. and i had double cheese burger. at last! thanks to the movie cloudy with the chance of meatball, i drooled over the burgers in the movie. too much whining isn't good.

i played futsal in subang. oh, i like that. a reunion like that sure is good. everyone was talking, pictures was taken, others simply were catching up with one another. life sure is good.

karaoke? awesome. foods, drinks, mics and friends. nice.

i went for sight seeing. went to south, to johor. had fun. too good to be true in fact. thanks to everyone who made it happen.

the bad is, i didn't have the chance to eat carl's jr burger. and to make it worse, even sushi. OMG! well, i'm pretty sure there'll be a next time. as long as the grim reaper doesn't find me or made an appointment with me. heh.

i found a long lost friend. heh. ex to be precise? wait, she found me. anyway, the fact we found each other make me happy.

ala.

cinta monyet kata orang tua tua. baru setahun jagung, dah nak becintan cintan.

damn funny.

haha

how about moral values? well, now i know, love is undefinable. love to your family, friends, partner (just one, no 's') and human. i realized that i do love my family and eventually i do missed my weird little brothers.

having friends is a bless. they helped us. they gave us happiness. aien, and majin made my day even brighter. seems like they are brother and sister after all, plus they did wear contact lenses with the same color. the cullens perhaps?

answer this particular question, who shone the brightest in your life this past 6 months?

answer for mine? i've got mine. heh. i'm not tellin'.

conclusion, happiness is everywhere. grab it. embrace it. be grateful.

objective (let me remind you again, its not plural, no 's') for going back to malaysia is achieved.

long distance relationship do roughen things up,

but along the road, it become sweeter,

and at the end of the road,

i would say, it will become invincible.

i missed thaqif, nabil, dina and khaliesah. my cute little cousins do look up to me when actually i've got nothing good in me. literally. maybe i should study a bit now. at least i've got something for them to proud off. heh.

bubye!

bond

2009-12-13T06:30:00.000-08:00

my name is bond, james bond.

pierce brosnan has played a wonderful job in playing the role as the heavenly charming m16 agent, double o seven. since i was a little kid, james bond showed me the coolness that every man should possess. being a casanova, cliche quote, and a good marksman gave me an idea that being a bad arse kicking villains butt is a wonderful and noble job. enough with james bond, because im not going to talk about him. heh.

the title, bond represents connection. haha. maybe james bond has connection to all the babes he met but this is a different one. those who learned chemisty and BIOCHEMISTRY, bonds is such a common term that can be found in their so-called-bible, text book, reference book or lecture notes. haha. double bond, single bond, triple bond, quadruple bond, covalent bond, hydrogen bond and so many bonds are there. and for me, the one and only bond that make us special is, the bond between us human or known as homo sapien.

too long for introduction er?

mid semester examination had been held for the last two weeks. unbelievable mcqs questions and opse practicals examination made me crazy. but, i finished. i miraculously managed to get good marks in biochemistry practicals, physiology mcqs blablabla. overall it was ok for someone who is is lazy as a pig. last minute studying is a no-no when entering this profession, one of my head of department said. yes, its true.

now, i am changed man. macam tipu kan? im going to class not because i have to, rathers its because the interesting upcoming topics. im pumped up.

pumped up=gemok sbb byk angin

heart, lungs, bladder, abdomen bla bla bla. i didnt learn any of that in spm nor a level thoroughly and so this opportunity learning this portion while others cant, make me unbelievably happy.

so after the examination, we decided to do something.

last saturday, me and my collegemates went to a beach in mangalore itself. i never once go there. so a little sight seeing wont hurt me. after the saturday class, we went back to hostel, had our lunch in the mess hall and off we went. padma's the one showing us all the directions. we went there by bus till we reached the city and by auto then. then we had to take a boat to go to the other side where the more beautiful than morib beach resides. me and hao min wore shorts and tshirts just like some tourists who lost their way in india. haha.

thanks to my love, aisyah, *muah* we managed to take good pictures there. theres a lot of pictures and i am not posting everything in this blog. u-huh. just few of em. if you wanna see more of em, CLICK HERE. and one more thing, i edited all by myself by using PICASA and not the superb cs3 or cs4. why? because i dont have the installer and the cd. so sad~

but i was kinda satisfied about the picture produced. what do you guys think?

maybe i should buy a original cs4 and a dlsr? nikon? sony alpha? or olympus? canon? bleh~
next year perhaps.

yeah, as we arrived there, we had our sandwiches made by the girls, padma, nadhiah and fasyihah, thanks. its sumptuous! delicious! two thumbs up! ive been dreaming to eat this kind of sandwich since i come to india.

owh, man. i missed caramel pudding. im gonna asked kalpana to do it for me! she promised me. ill see her back in malaysia! *she went back to malaysia already. im so jealous because they have 3 weeks holiday*

wait, u-turn! ok, lets continue, then, i started to play with the tiny waves and eventually, i was in the water, diving and everything. this is all the waves fault. they are tempting! oh well. its been 5 months, since i played salt water. haha. anyway, it was fun! fun! fun!

5pm, photography and gossiping session made the day more brighter. brighter than the sun. haha. that is called hiperbola. heh. by the way, this beach actually a dangerous place. one of the locals student said that theres like a sudden steep in the shore, thus cause a lot of death *drowning!*. thats why, i played ONLY at the most shallow part like a child. heh. i love my life dude. im trying to survive everyday. im going back to malaysia next week. family first. haha

we went back, and we reached our hostel at 8pm. before that, i went for dinner at some restaurant near to my hostel and edited all the pictures till 2am. exhausted! but it was a damn good trip. im glad i proposed this activity.

the best part is, i made them laugh. it was a good felling. to see they smiled and laughed, some how, made me happier. and i hope, this activity shall strengthen of our bond till the end of mbbs. wait! change the phrase! till the end of our lives.

p/s: im going back to malaysia. i started to wonder why im going back to malaysia. hmmph. padma's took the chance to ask her most-favourite-and-always-switched-on-bluetooth-son about his personal life. and i hope she understand what i was trying to say.

"there'll be 5 years to think something like this. so its overrated =)"
this is actually what i was trying to say.

fyi, pierce brosnan is the most coolest bond ever, if u compare with the other bond. plus, the gadget when he became the bond is damn cool! wawawa~

fin.

rude

2009-12-11T09:40:00.000-08:00

for that particular person, i think u are one of a hell rude person. just because u do not do same thing like typical person, u despised them. just because u have a lot of followers, and everyone should listen to you? you said you have leadership qualities. but by the all smooth talking-shit you posted on your blog, its enough to show me how stupid you really are. how arrogant you really are. how rude you are to others. leadership qualities you say? f you.

its been weeks i read someone's blog and facebook profile. it really pisses me off when on of 'em was being rude to others. you have 100++ followers who followed your blogs. reading attentively. giving good comments. thus you felt for good for yourself. deep inside u said to yourself

"im a good thinker. world needs me"

i dont know why they followed you but i bet whether its because they liked to read your stupidity or maybe they also have chicken brain like yours.

i do not say i'm a good blogger. i sometime blogged stupid stuff. irrelavant stuffs. why did i that? the one and only reason is, this is my blog. and i have the right to post anything for my self. absolutely anything. except the nude and etc. and it makes me feel happy.

sukahatilah si pemblog ingin menulis dalam bahasa tamil ke, rojak ke, bahasa melayu gedik gila babi ke, bahasa inggeris yang seakan-akan merapping ke. biarlah. engkau kata merosakkan bahasa. just sebab ko suka akan bahasa melayu, dan tiba tiba post engkau penuh dengan kosa kata yang betul seperti apa aku cuba lakukan dalam post ini lalu engkau membuta tuli kutuk dan mengaibkan orang lain. memalukan orang lain. kata, leadership qualities. kejadahnye. aku tidak tidak-lah marah seakan cikgu memarahi muridnya tetapi pelik. kenapa engkau melakukan sebegini. engkau tahu tak, engkau menganiaya orang lain?

engkau tahu atau tidak, nanti ilmu ilmu yang dipinjam olehNya lesap begitu sahaja bila engkau menghadapi peperiksaan?

engkau tahu tak apa akan terjadi pabila engkau hampir diambang kejayaan tiba-tiba, kekuatan kau hilang ditarik olehNya lalu engkau rebah dan jatuh ke lembah durjana yang sangat dasyat?

Tuhan berikan peluang kali kedua untuk kau berubah, untuk kau memikirkan masa depan. untuk engkau memunasabahkan diri engkau agar melakukan dengan cara yang lebih baik. namun...

aku pun pandai bercakap sahaja. ntah betul ntah tidak. tetapi aku percaya Allah maha penyayang lagi pengasihani. belajarlah dari kesilapan wahai saudara. Dia memberi engkau satu peluang untuk menuding jari pada diri sendiri. agar engkau memahami diri sendiri. memahami kesalahan sendiri. kelemahan diri sendiri. bukan apa, engkau memalukan aku sebagai seorang melayu. mat rempit yang kurang ajar sah-sah lah bikin aku panas dan baran. tapi tidaklah aku terlalu malu. tetapi engkau, mamat melayu yang dianugerahkan bijak, good looking, pandai berkata-kata, yang kononya the thinker, last-last macam ni jugak kesudahannya. buat tahi. malu la beb.

seperti biasa, nampak macam aku mengutuk ngutuk engkau. tetapi selalunya tidak. kerana tidak semua itu buruk. aku bersetuju apabila kena pada tempatnya. kalau tidak pada tempatnya, bukankah itu zalim? aku bersetuju seperti orang lain apabila engkau mempertikaikan rancangan rancangan tidak sepatutnya disiarkan dalam televisyen. ya, benar. rancangan realiti contohnya, memberi kesan kepada rakyat Malaysia khususnya. aku juga bersetuju bila engkau menerbitkan mengenai bahayanya rokok. ya, saya bersetuju. tetapi, kadang kadang dalam post post sebelum itu, penyampaian itu tidak kena pada tempatnya. anda kata anda seorang leader. ada ciri ciri yang dimahu oleh orang lain tetapi ada pada diri engkau. maka gunakan lah sebaiknya.

menjadi pemimpin, perlu memikirkan positif dan negatif. sentiasa perfikiran neutral. ini tidak, belum habis cakap, sudah meletup letup kata benci akan pihak lagi satu. jangan jadi sultan mahmud.

heh. akhir kata, 'lu pikirlah sendiri'

blog ini hanya untuk diri saya dan untuk difahami oleh mereka yang memahami masalah ini.
terima kasih.

Saya Budak Nakal

2009-12-05T09:43:00.000-08:00

Tiba-tiba, daku teringat akan Nabil. Sepupu ku. Merangkap 'wingman' daku pabila daku melakukan kejahatan. Teringat daku kepada mukanya yang penuh muslihat. Namun dilindungi dengan wajahnya yang penuh cahaya kecomelan serta ke-tidak-bersalahan-nya.

"Abil budak nakal" katanya dengan selamba.

Ya, saya pasti. Saya rindu akan Nabil. Namun, itu bukan sebab post ini diterbitkan. Bukan. Bukan. Dan sememangnya bukan.

The reason is i missed the ol' days. When we were in school, primary school to be specific, all seems boring. The teachers, the subjects, the numbers and the Student Affair. To be frank, i loved primary school. It is a place where all kind of magic happened. Playing and fooling around is the best time of my life. Now i know, lotsa adult wanted to turn back time. To experience those happy moments again.

Maka, mari-lah dengar kisah saya yang xseberapa ini. Hee.

Waktu tadika, saya retro dan kool. Semua pelajar lain memakai seluar panjang. Saya? Yes, u guessed it, short. Pada suatu hari saya bermain ape-kejadah-nye-ntah sehingga badan sayer perlu diangkat seakan-akan mengiringi jenazah ke kawasan perkuburan. Kerana saya teramat-lah bijak, dan tidak suka akan memakai seluar dalam, maka, mereka nampak sesuatu di celah seluar saya. Oh. Sesungguhnya saya amat malu. Mereka gelakkan saya. Thank God, mereka mempunyai akal yang pendek dan tidak serius dalam bab-bab itu. Saya tidak nanges. *ok.ini tipu*

Keesokan harinya, saya memakai seluar panjang dan berseluar dalam. Kool bukan? Jenama pertama? Oh, serius lupa.

Standard three. Same like always. The difference is, we became seniors for the evening session of the school. As you know, morning session, 4th, 5th and 6th standard are held in the morning session, while the others in the evening. We still paying police-and-thief during recess. And after school, we played a game that uses pillar or 'tiang' i suppose. I cant find the right word for the game.

Batu seremban is the best. I liked it. You may say i'm a fag, but hey, that kind of game is really awesome. I bet the one created the game is a genius. We played the game everywhere. On the table, on the classroom floor and even on the canteen floor. Then, there was this game that uses eraser. You will be declared as the winner when your eraser is on top the others' eraser. You can only use one finger. The winner will take the opponents erasers. Some of my friends, have a big plastic bag full of losers' erasers. Nice. But then, he was caught by the teacher as they say the same is considered as gamble. Well, its true though.

How about exam in primary school? I have my own activity. Usually, i finished early on answering the papers. It was easy i might say. Then, i'll be looking at others and try to communicate with them. And GOSSIPing with them at the same very time. Heh. i remembered, mostly of the exam, i'll be taking a piece of paper and start the hottest couple, scandal and love story to be written on that paper. Then, i passed around to the others. But of course, i'll gave to my gossip buddies, thats include Manal, Khalida and others first. It rotated and making everyone giggle. Haha.

Banyak lagi nak ceriter tapi aperkan daya. Malas la pulak tetiber.

Anger Management

2009-11-24T02:45:00.000-08:00

its been awhile. suddenly i've the urge to write this post. this is all because of this anger o' mine. really, i hate it. i hated the fact that i can't carry my coolness like other cool guys..

*even though i do know they do not exist*

..and being friendly to others. i learned from a friend of mine.

u can't make anyone happy.

i suppose its true. as the aging process keep creeping on me like a poisonous tarantula, i can see it. when i was in middle school, i tried to make everyone happy. every each of em'. i didn't care of being the class clown. someone's punching bag. someone's listening machine.

*i like to listened others tales and do*

thanks for all the drama i watched when i was a little, i saw the world in a different perspective. in that stupid pandora box of mine, world aren't evil. yes. do laugh.

little that i know.
naive that i've been.

backstabbers seems to appear like mushrooms after the rain and surround me.

STAB! STAB! STAB! and keep fuckin' STAB him.

how about heart-breakers? don't even let me start on that. its frickin' stupid i tell you.

ATTENTION!
if you're an alien, and you're reading this,
let me tell you one thing, don't even think to invade this planet.
if u can't cant understand any words in this notice, u should googled it.
or simply use google translator.
thank you.

why? its going down itself by all the frickin' idiots who control everything here. trust me, it will.

oh. thanks for all those lovely experiences, i changed. i stopped being good to others. to girls? yes. that too. i do hate girls with they stupid mouth and making others hurt especially when they are hurtin' their own kind.

Ya Allah. Mengapa?

sigh. i kept whinin' and dreamt for any changes. stupid. stop whinin' and do something. waddya say?

am i being emotional and not making any sense till now? let's see. i'm babbling digitally at the very least to reduce some of my tension. i am pissed off with someone. because of her, i think i can't control myself. why did she do that? damn it! im angry and thank God i didn't spit any unpleasant words and phrases to her either in malay or english. patience is virtue, yes?

to all the readers, if there's any i suppose, i'm a person who do not curse to others when pissed off. except for certain degree of course. till then, no harsh words. i used them ONLY when i'm in socializing, which is one of em making friends because i know there's this kind of people that love to hear those words. im tellin' the truth.

oh. i'm babbling again. let me return to the real main point. as i became 20, 'inhuman' humans seem to be here and there. popping out like popcorn. and it made me feel sick. all their lies and rudeness. nausea. ok. full stop.

why i wrote this kind of stupid essay where there's no real point or whatsoever? i'm just managing my anger. by putting this little post o' mine. i should call it as an anger management programme.

duh~

well. im feelin' a little bit better now. to the very least, it is workin'.
last but not least, please, and PRETTY PLEASE, don't frickin' messing with me about certain things. because i'm eff-in' hate it. thank you very much.

p/s: i didn't use any 'haha' in the post. not even one. its expected though. i'm listening to my chemical romance while typing this. and this post is one of a hell product of being emo. say hooray to emo. heh.

blabbering

2009-11-19T08:49:00.000-08:00

today is thursday. tomorrow is friday. and there'll be test tomorrow on biological oxidative. i've read sumthin but as u can see not everythin' is in my head. when i keep on readin', the early portion of words and enzymes' seem to be dropped, flied, or lost. when did i realized this so-called-phenomenon? whether right in the middle of exam or the time as i take my very first step into the exam hall. nice~

but hey? medic is difficult. and i meant damn difficult. some argued, dentistry a lot more tougher with carving and everythin'. well. i've got my own opinion. believe me, they are wrong. enough with this passive thinking and negative talk. next, lets talk sumthin' exciting shall we? haha. but of course, im da one excited now. why?

jeng jeng jeng

i bought aino. on ebay. haha. how desperate was i when i was told that i need to book the phone and wait for 4 days. heck with that, so i surfed on the ebay india webpage and saw this phone. haha. i was happy like a lil baby found his lil blanket. like a child received a big lollypop. with the price that not so expensive...

*ok! this is the part where i started to lie, bear with it*

...i clicked "buy now"

thus the phone was on its way to its master. booya!..

*beginilah ron stoppable berkater*

...from chennai and it came all its way to mangalore.
then, the ol' phone o' mine, the nokia 5800 xpress music rang...

"weh, package ko da sampai. cepat amik!"

...said that particular gurl to me. just like batman saw the light signal, like ultraman saw the monsters terrorizing his planet, like power rangers when they heard their watch beepin', i transformed to my jeans and t-shirt and there i went to the mangalore city.

*gler dramatik. yeah! ak tahu*

*sementara daku menaip kejadah ini, encik vasudevan memanggil daku untuk membacernyer. lalu ku berkater kepadannyer, "maaf. kiter break, i've got sumbody else". lalu everythin' menjadi awkward. haha*

as im about to kick the door of the house...

*ok tipu!*

...a voice stung my head as it was shouted. what? shocked. then i remembered that the old ones always say to me

"sopan santunlah di rumah orang"

i stopped. hence, i pushed door bell...

*dush~*

...ting tong~

****

ok. stop. maker ini lah gambar gambar sebelum dan selepas. how was it? pretty cool. i was thinking of having white version, but the guy said he didnt have the white colour. disappointed but hey, black is the new sexy. as i was open it, was like,

"OMG! OMG! OMG!"

*ok, aku da start menyampah ngan diri sendiri berlakuan sebegini*

in the box, a phone without battery, and a bluetooth headset.

*that is totally cool!!!*

next, there's the dock, manual, usb, the headphone, and the manuals. ive read a lil and on assemble everythin' by my own.

*simply guess which part to the other, its easy as if finishing sum puzzle. heh*

i had my dinner in mangalore city, and found my temporary home, here in the college, hostel. heh. im happy. satio? next time. im not thinking of buying anythin'. next on the list are, queen or king size bed, cupboard, a study table, a good chair, bookshelves, washing machine and a HOUSE. yes, i would like to have a house here in india as i will be living here permanently for the next 5 and a half years. InsyaAllah. God willing. its a long way to go tho. my first year mbbs seems difficult and i've gotta do sumthin' now.

now then, no talk, only action. power up!

*vasudevan, kiter rujuk? eh aku luper, ko laki lah!*

p/s: im in love with aino.
*and some other things. haha*

iphone? ipod? aino? i-know!

2009-11-10T10:32:00.000-08:00

its been 2 weeks. im in dilemma. God knows why. alamak! im not in my mind right now. which one should i buy?

tick tock tick tock

okay. seriously its not that important. and i know that. wait! let me rephrase. I SHOULD KNOW THAT. when it comes to money, i should use my brain instead of using hunch, guts and instinct. i read from a magazine, malaysian mens health. haha. they said, use brain whenever money is involve especially when buying things. but when it come to relationship, better use instinct and feeling rather than using the brain. at last, theres a part of brain which is useless.

*haha. shut up! even i know better that the brain is one of a hell organ in daily life. especially after a 16 hours of lecture about them.*

is it worth to be followed? who knows~

1st gadget
ipod touch third generation 32 gb

why should i have it?
well, theres a lot of applications and games can be stored here. and i mean a lot. having all the hype such as wifi, a video player and music player sure can brighten my day. 32 gb? more than enough to put any movie, music videos, songs and really cool games!
haha

2nd gadget
iphone

iphone is cool. and someone dear to me say that this phone is awesomely cool and make the owner as the most coolest person. i doubted it. but anyway, its cool because you could do the same thing like ipod touch. the difference is you could use it as a phone. wicked! and the probability you re showing off is higher than ipod touch. HAHA.

3rd gadget
c905 phone

really cool phone i guess. cheap. xenon flash which is suitable for night photos. ive been using k800 n k850, the xenon flash do make a difference when taking pictures especially in night events. so why not? but the thing is, its an old phone. one year old. some may say, if you buy a year old phone, the probabilty the phone going haywire is less because new versions were produced and new firmware being install. i do not know about this much really. maybe?

4th gadget
playstation three

do i really need this thing? haha. let me as again. do i, a medical student-who-are-really-buzy with-reading-books,-assignment-and-dissecting need this particular thing? hoho. and i assured you guys that the answer is beyond everything. sigh~ but hey, maybe i should but it for my little brothers. wait. membazir-lah. next time! june perhaps?

5th
sony ericsson aino

when the preview went out, cynists criticize a lot. and reading their views via internet has made me hate this phone. but recently, ive found this dummy phone in India. what the hell? for your information readers, theres no iphone 3gs in india except the unlocking. the unlocking cost me rp 50000++. what the fish? its a lot! one of the telco bringing iphone is airtel. and still, no iphone 3gs. if i were to but iphone, ill make sure its 3gs!

s for shafiq! *dush*

the aino has been released officially and i heard and read a lot of good comment about this phone. then, my view towards that piece of plastic has changed. actually, i think it will be anice phone actually because the concept the sony company tried to show. and i really think it worked. maybe some of us do not like this kind of rubbish concept as they say, but having a slide phone and a really big screen sure is cool! its like a mixture korean and japanese phone. really cool. haha.

see. now ive made my decision. i wanted to try aino as long im india. if it that good, and i surely buy the phone. but if its not, ill think it more and ill make my decision in malaysia. plus, 3gs in malaysia! haha.

now, i need to read something. biochemistry. and do some calculations about the three-months-survival budget after all the thinking buying which gadget. haha

Three Months

2009-11-05T11:51:00.000-08:00

Its been 3 months im in India.

Haha. Aku baru je type satu post. Sekarang type lg satu post. Menarik bukan. Yela. Da lamer xmemblog. Besh plak. Sebab cam leh lepaskan sumthin ive been keeping myself. Satu kisah bermula. Dimana aku bersembang ngan member aku, Mira. Haha. Aku pown xtawu. Tadi sembang gelak gelak. Tapi tanpa ku ketahui aku juga kurang senang sebab banyak sangat mencarut dengan dier tadi. Aku xdela mencarut sangat. Tapi dier banyak sangat. Aku kurang senang. Memuler sesikit ok jer. Tapi lamer lamer teraser kurang menarik dalam conversation itu. Huhu. Maybe aku patut adapt. Well. Kalau buleh ubahkan dier, aku dapat pahala kan?

Heh. Lets stop. Now. Im going to tell you guys how fine i am now. Class just the same. Class and more class. Practical? Prick and more prick. Heh. Study? I am lazy just like before. But this month i started to read something everyday. Huhu. Its an improvement. Plus, every week, at least, tempehs are playing football. Nice. Im happy. At last, this type of people, football maniacs still exist in India. Haha.

*at last*

Food? I dont know but i kinda like it here. Its sumptuous. Searching for halal food really is not a problem at all. Haha. I like it. Indian food are good. Especially, curd where sugar is added and its cooled. OMG. It is really good and taste like sugar-added yogurt. Nice. After living here for more than 3 months, i could say, having vegetarian meals about everyday is really not that bad. Its good i tell ya. Haha. But deep down i do miss Carls Jr, Ribena and Sushi. Well actually theres more than that. But why should i waste space in this blog for those kind of thing. Haha.

In class, ive been using the same shirt for 3 days in a row, and then changed to a new shirt. Im fed up being neat just for the tempehs. Whats the point having good appearance and impression. Is not like im going to ask them out for a dinner~ Heh~ But my group of student is cool. There are cool and a little bit different from other tempehs. They do hillarious jokes and are pretty eager to learn Malay. Cool aite?

Now, the real problem lies within me. One of em is the capability the brain o mine to memorize everything and in a short period. I really need that kind of skill or so-called-power. I wished for it. Heh.

Now, im in dilemma. Ive got money and it is starting to poison my mind. This is bad. Really bad. I should stop thinking of buying things and start to study. Aiyo~Now im in dilemma having ipod touch and iphone. Haish. How about shopping in Malaysia? But before that there ll be exam. MID SEM examination. Oh my. This is bad.

Alamak. Mati aku!

Getting There

2009-11-05T08:31:00.000-08:00

this is a wise topic. i would say it is. believe me. everything im going to say or type today is true and i have kept it for a long time. so here goes. wachaaa~

*xder keje. senarnyer xder topik nk cakap pown. huahua*

last weekend, i read something from my own blog. pelikkan? reading from your own blog seems kinda pathetic. dont you think? nvm.

kalau post-post aku dikumpulkan dan diprintkan atas kertas dan dikepilkan menjadi sebuah buku, ternyata ia akan menjadi sesuatu yang menarik. haha. mengaper? sebab aku pasti, ia akan digelar, diari sayer~ haha.

suatu hari, nadhiah menyuruh sayer membacer kembali blog itu gara gara masalah peribadi. maker aku turutkan permintaan beliau. tanper kusedari, blog aku yang aku xpernah raser besh itu, raser macam besh dengan isi isinyer. raser cam orang lain yang tulis blog itu. aku terkejut. aku xsangker aku mempunyai sense of humour yang cipan. bayangkan, aku membacer blog aku, aku gelak xhengat punyer. ceh. pathetic bukan?

*ye, gelak kerna blog sendiri agak pathetic, deal with it*

aku start bacer part journey to the east. yang pergi terengganu tuh. OMG. banyak mender da berubah dalam blog tuh. aku nampak ke arah maner aku sedang tuju. yang baik dan yang tidak. then i continue reading it. from being hurt, happy, and then sad again. you can say its like the circle of life or whatever. hmm. life do change somebody.

best part? im getting there. forgetting everything that crushed me back then. feeling sad all the time. feeling incompetent. heh. raser laen. seriously, i am over it. haha. im happy.

bad part? im a terrible person. forgive me because i have sinned. i know. ive made mistakes. and dozens of em. sigh. i guess, i would like to rewind back time to the after spm result. i would do the right way. i wont hurt anyone.

p/s: i dont know. im feeling sick and tired about all this thing. haish~im getting there.im still hanging on.

not anymore

2009-10-22T12:29:00.000-07:00

let me tell you a tale. a scary one. living a life of muhammad shafiq. where dream and hope seem to fade away every minute. he is going to be a doctor? is he not? confusion started to inhibit his brain. assumptions. imaginations. nightmares.

he is a person who always think deeply about something. and thank for those kind of traits, he took more than 2 weeks thinking about his future. no one knew what is it all about. nor him. he started searching for answers. or at least an answer that could leave him back to himself. old self. he hated everything about him.

this deep thinking has lead him to somewhere at a corner of his mind. sitting patiently. waiting for someone to help him. sissy? you bet!

sigh

he doesnt know whether hes a man, guy or a boy. or even a gurl.

he doesnt know what he wanted anymore. medic student? are you kidding me?

he doesnt know who is her crush anymore. miley or ricci? or maybe neither.

he stop humming songs anymore. karaoke became his enemy.

one thing for sure, he didnt study. till now.

he doesnt know how to take care of his buddies anymore.

he doesnt know how to treat his loved one anymore.

he doesnt know what should he eat for the next 3 months.

he doesnt know if his losing his old self.

he doesnt know himself anymore.

and unfortunately, he doesnt know which is bad and which is good anymore.

to much to think. so little time.

he is falling to darkest, deepest and most deadliest pit. he doesnt know that. wait. maybe he knew. hes falling. im sure theres no light accompanying him there. i bet hes starting to search something when hes reaches the bottom. till then, i wish him a very good luck. just do not commit suicide because if he does, then say bye bye to heaven.

p/s:he is falling apart.

Demi Demi Lovato

2009-10-10T12:33:00.000-07:00

Demi nya aku sanggup bersengkang mata dan menulis post ini. Pabila minatku terhadapnya berada dalam tahap dewa. Teramat best minah ni apabila dia mula melontarkan suara yang hebat. Lama terpendam. Lame terdiam. Lalu album kedua sudah di pasaran. OMG!

Sebagai seorang pengkritik bebas dalam bab muzik, saya akan mengkritik sesuka hati mak bapak saya. Sekiranya ada masalah, sila isi comment di bawah. Keputusan dan kritikan adalah muktamad.

Album terbarunya ialah Here We Go Again. Mostly lagu-lagu menarik. Compare first one, i like the previous better. Sebab lagu nya lebih menarik, catchy dan harmoni *poyo jer berkata-kata*

But i cant deny the enjoyment when hearing her new songs. Its good. Seronok.

Senarai lagu buat daku caer:
1. Here We Go Again
2. Catch Me
3. Solo

Ini adalah 3 lagu terbaik. Lagu yang kurang minat, Got Dynamite and Quite. Other songs are ok and fully digestable by brain and ear drum. Heh.

Lalu, daku membuka folder lama aka album lama Demi Lovato, Dont Forget. Bapak besh. Serius saya manyukai suaranya. Muka dia cun jer but keep in mind that I'm not into looks except to Toda Erika buat masa ni. Kuang kuang kuang~

Lalu aku mendengar antara favourite aku, Trainwreck. And one of the lyric mencairkan saya. Hahaha.

"And you said we wouldn't make it
But look how far we've come

For so long my heart was breaking
But now we're standing strong"

Sweet kan? Okay. The ending part is so nice. I also recommend you guys to hear this song for once. I'm loving it. Waaaaaa. Demi~

One more thing I thought I'd share with someone special
I'm falling like I never fell before
It's funny you said we'd never make it and look how far we've come
You're a trainwreck

But with you, I'm in love

unworking

2009-10-07T12:50:00.000-07:00

Ive been looking the light tube for 2 hours straight now. Nothing came up. I dunno whats happening anymore. Problems. Examinations. It sure make my mind in anaerobic state. I'm worried about everything. I thought i could catch up all the subjects. Anatomy, Biochemistry and Physiology. I understand everything. I tried to memorize everything. But still, far from perfect. I still wondering why the heck my brain is so slow same as the internet connection in India.

DAMMIT!

Raya da lepas. Lots of fun activities. I went to Devangere, Bangalore and next week, to Manipal. Meeting all of my friends is good way to spend your precious little time. Having good time.

Let us jump to the serious part. Which part? The part where the tear gland suppose to be working. Where mucus should be running like a river from my nose.

I don't know whats happening to me anymore. I cant see whats coming and whats not. Why I'm feeling like this. I cant see anything right.

DAMMIT!

Haw could you make me like this? Who are you to do that for God sake!? I'm a human being. I'm not that strong. Why are you making me this? Oh God, i have this feeling. The feeling that would annoy me. Irritate me. It made me crazy. Mad on its own way. I can't find any cure. I suppose there shouldn't any. Ya Allah, aku lemah.

DAMMIT!

Why the heck i started to think that medicine course is causing me become like this?

DAMMIT!

Whats happening to me?

Saturday Night Geler~

2009-09-12T15:14:00.000-07:00

Tajuk dalam English. Tapi post aku masih dalam Manglish. Heh. Kali ini ingin daku ceritakan tentang hari Sabtu. Kwang kwang kwang. Gile obvious-kan tajuk nye?

Me and Arman woke up at 8 am. Thank you for the security and the warden for making us up although we DO NOT need that kind of thing because we are sure that we could wake up by ourselves. But thanks again though.

The class was boring as ever. Every class made me yawn except blood and the tutorial blood. First class enzyme, yes. Yada yada and in the end you got an enzyme.

*inilah sifat pemalas*

Well, its a Saturday and i do treat this Indian Saturday same as in Malaysia. Full of relaxness and happiness. Then, the anatomy. Cell division. Everything i should have known. But that is when i realized i DO forget them. Haha. Next blood. Its interesting because its a new topic. Coagulation bla bla bla. Its interesting but i need to made a revision over the topic so i could fully understand.

*ntah biler la nak buat revision tuh*

Tutorial blood memang paling mantap. Aku dapat lecturer yang sangat kool. Bagi 4 set soalan. And each of the question is a 3 or 5 marks question. I was capable to answer everything because i do remember what lecturer had taught me except ANEMIA. Huhu. I didnt come to her class that time. Yet, i did not do any revision bout the topic either. Ish ish ish. Lazy i am~

*kene study la kan? baek~*

Class ended at 1 and i went straight to my laptop. I was searching for some 'thing', and magnificently, i couldnt find it. Damn. I went straight to bed. I woke up at 6 pm. Thank you my superb air conditioner thus i slept like a baby with a blanket.

*haha, i made up the adverb*

I woke up. Jumped to the laptop. AGAIN. Nothing. Haish. Im getting scared. It was Saturday and its suppose adn always have been to be my greatest day every week. Owh man~ Kemudian azan berkumandang. Oh, it came from my laptop thanks to THE IslamicFinder-Athan programme i installed last month. I forgot to break the fast. I performed my Maghrib prayer or namaz, as what tempeh called it, and then me, Arman and Hao Ming went to Bakers and Joy for our dinner. As i walked with steady pace, my stupid big-o-tummy was making weird sound as if it didnt have any content for 2 years.

*ntah macam maner la aku tawu yang perut ak xpernah berisi 2 tahun..mohong eh~*

Aku perasan. Aku tak berbuke lagi rupenye. Minum air pown tidak. Sedang berjalan tu, aku ada juga berfikir ingin ku korek hidungku seperti mereka perkatakan semasa berbual kosong. Tapi ntahla, maybe its not the right time. Plus, berapa-lah jauh sangat nak ke kedai yang terletak yang sememangnya only a few metres away.

Sampai di sana, ku temu Nash dan Fathi. Seperti dirancang kami berkumpul. Tapi aper yang ku tidak tahu ialah both girls from K.S.Hegde and Yenepoya are coming along. Haha. Tetibe aku merasakan aku seorang yang amat vain.

*hahaha~*

Dengan tshirt putih Giordano yang berharga RM20 tu, yang sudah renggang ibarat kain buruk. Track bottom yang murah dari Reject Shop. Haha. Ada perasaan malu di situ, tapi otakku yang sedang bijak ini mula merembeskan maklumat penting.

"Oi! Tak payah kot *macam Aien yang cakap dengan aku*. Kat India jer. Siape-lah yang ko nak impress kan tuh? Relax okay? Bukan ke ko tuh da..*shhhh!!*
transmisi tamat"

I had a great time. And a great meal. Kat kedai tuh, memang terkenal dengan chicken sharvamnye. Macam ala ala kebab roti pita gitu. Ngan ayam golek lagi. Shuh. Meleleh air liiur gua cakap lu~ Bergelak ketawa seperti dunia kami yang punya.

*ye saye tahu bahwa ini milik-Nya*

Jam menunjukkan pukul 8. Yah. Masa untuk tarawikh. Aku telah mengambil inisiatif untuk merasa Solat Tarawikh di masjid yang berdekatan dengan Yenepoya University. Serius. Aku berasa amat bersyukur dapat peluang ini. Tidaklah aku hendak mengatakan aku akan solat di atas tanah merah seperti hari-hari Jumaat yang lain tapi aku dapat menunaikannya dengan berjemaah dengan tempe tempe yang laen. Bersihnya bilik solat itu tidak terkata. Sewaktu aku sujud, baunya tidak-lah hapak seperti mana aku bayangkan.

*ceh, nampak sangat x khusyuk*

The interesting fact is, the time taken to finish 8 rakaat Tarawikh. Mak ai. I recorded the time.

IT WAS 12 MINUTES!!!

Sesungguhnya, laju dek imam baca. Kalau boleh semua bacaan dalam satu nafas. Tak sempat aku nak baca Al-Fatihah, tetawu da rukuk.

Kemudian, tamat solat itu, kami singgah ke Coffee Day. Nak melayan coffee India. Layan je lah kan? Kemudian aku dan Arman pulang ke bilik dan aku sekali LAGI melompat ke laptop. Sekali lagi. Harapan berkecai. Baru last post nak kate tidak mahu mengharap pada orang lain.

Sigh.

No sweat. Tomorrow, ill become cool again. Its Sunday, and i really need to buzy myself with all this studying. Exam is just around the corner. Ill stop hoping. For now. But not to Him. Heh.

*bodoh-lah kan kalau lupa akan-Nya*

Like usual, my brain produced some weird thoughts. Lets see now.

Jikalau di Malaysia, solat tarawikh seperti India, or what had i experiencing, apakah, Malaysian akan lebih ramai ke surau dan masjid masjid? Or otherwise?
Mengapa kita sering berkira dengan duit? Saya tahu, duit itu sangat penting. It what make world goes around. But still? Do we really need it? Damn i hate the thing called money. *haha, maybe because its not mine, haha*
Why bussinessmen took advantage of others. Especially people that different from us. Different skin tones, languages and even different religion or perspectives. To make it look even worse, even political views~ *tiada kene mengena dengan political view pown, saje jer*
Mengapa emosi mempengaruhi diri?
Kenapa dan kenapa. Why the heck there is still no Carls Junior in India?! Im going insane. Haha. And dont forget ribena and the Malaysian type of Red Bull taste. Oh, i missed them.

Raya lagi seminggu. Okay. Sekarang serius da raser immune. Heh.

*i cant find it. sigh~*

Pillow Talk

2009-09-11T12:07:00.000-07:00

*post ini ditangguhkankan penerbitannya gara gara *go* mamat bernama internet*

Jam menunjukkan 1245 malam. Kali ini, lebih awal. 15 minutes earlier. Tadi aku xbangun pown untuk sahur. Maka aku xbangun untuk subuh. Maker, aku tidak-lah bangun study untuk subjek physiology. Yeah. Memang mantap.

Rupa-rupanya, kelas dipostpone dengan sesuker hati lecturer itu. Aiyoo. Terpakse la study malam ini. Tapi sekali lagi, aku tidak study. Adakah aku bangga? Oh tidak. Aku malu ngan diri sendiri. Pas nie nak study. Serius. Bangun subuh sebentar lagi. Oh, berikanlah aku peluang untuk daku bangun pagi ini, menghirup udara aircond yang segar dan mula study dengan baik.

Soalan soalan pelek muler muncul ibarat fire crackers.

*oh..raya~*

Marilah jawab seperti menjawab tag. Okay!

Mengapa saya sayang negara saya?
Kerna tiada apa yang lebih baik melainkan negara sendiri. Carls Juniornya, Bahasa Melayu nyer, orang orang nyer, dan budaya nya. Im not a fond of politics there.

Apa yang kamu mahukan sekarang?
Saya mahukan satu surat dimana ia memberi saya peluang untuk pulang ke Malaysia dan berpatah balik ke India dengan percuma for my 5 years studying here.
*gile tidak matang pemikiran aku ini*

Apakah pujian kepada anda untuk hari ini?
I do not know if its a sincere or sarcastic but just leave me for being an optimist. I am sweet, immature, gila gila and comel. Heh. Gabungkan and you guys most probably will got seekor anak kambing. Haha.

Anda mahu tujukan hari ini kepada siapa?
I want to dedicated this day to Amalia. Why? She made me happy with her words. She gave me a piece of her opinion and that what kept me from sadness.
I wanted to tell you what she said, but most probably for mine and hers sake, its better not to let other knows. How about you guys asked her yourselves?

Being a doctor?
I still cant find the reason why i click the button of pursuing medic. I asked the seniors. And they are all have the same answer like mine. They are third year student of MBBS. Hampir tamat. But still, they couldnt find the answer. What the heck~

Love someone?
I love everyone that made me this way. Full stop.

Are you cool?
I dont think so. Right now i may say i am. But you dont know, after this, i may fall to the pit of sadness..again~

Are you done?
Yes. Heh~

Itulah soalan soalan otak aku rembeskan ngan bantuan action potential serta acetyl choline yang act as neurotransmitter di presynaptic ku. Heh. Aku penat. Aku pening. And im feeling a lil bit sad. I dont know. Maybe sebab xdapat something. Owh man. I need to stop hoping others and start to walk by myself...alone.

Sigh~

I hope tomorrow will be a bright one.

Naqib involve in accident. And i heard its PRETTY bad. Godspeed. May Allah be there with you. Get better soon. Nanti nak rayer dengan siaper lagi~

*sebak*

Berita Malam Ini

2009-09-10T12:30:00.000-07:00

kshegde medical academy

Jam di skrin laptopku menunjukkan sudah pukul 1 pagi. Selalunya, pada waktu waktu begini ku sedang study ataupun melayari internet. Itu sudah pasti. If not, how the heck i made this post. Tetapi masalahnya, esok ader tutorial Blood untuk physiology dan telah diwarning awal awal untuk bacer terlebeh dahulu agar tidak dibelangkung oleh lecturer yang manis itu, Dr Shalaija.

Daku mahu bacer Blood, tetapi buku tebal bernama Guyton and Hall itu sering mematahkan semangat aku. Ku tahu buku itu tebal, tapi kenape ak sangat malas hari ini. Yaaaa!

Itu yang kite cari! MALAS. Anda bagaimana pula? Raya hampir menjelma. Maka, mahu bermalaskah anda?

Talking about raya, me, Arman and Hao Ming are planning to celebrate our Aidilfitri in Devangere. It would take us about 6 hours by bus. FYI, i lived in Mangalore. Mangalore Eid's celebration suppose to be on Sunday. But because other state started fasting one day later after us, so me and my friends will be fasting extra one day than anyone else in Mangalore. Owh, nevermind then. If i could fast for one month, why not for one more day. Right?

I hope it gonna be a blast. With friends from KTT, Klang itself. Haha. I hope i could meet everyone. But not everyone is coming tho. Guys from Karad are not coming. They are too far. Plus, they dont want to bunk their Tuesday class, unlike us. Hahaha.

Meneruskan perceritaan hari ini, semalam telah ku kuatkan diri study untuk 5 jam. Dan aku hanya tidur for 3 hours if im not mistaken. Huhu. Glerkan? Berbekalkan nescafe regular 3 in 1, buleh jer bertahan. Haha.

Yeah, it seems that i m running out of idea what to post today. I simply want to tell you guys about me here. Raser cam lonely kan? Heh.

Ok. Tomorrow, after Subuh, i surely read blood, the enzyme presentation and the ulnar. Watch me. Haha.

*tolong la bangun*

Today, i REALLY realize that Raya is around the corner. Even Hao Ming is FAR MORE excited than me. Bolehla! Nak jumper sweetheart dier. Ceh. Nak je aku fire dengan sinaran xray yang konpirm menyebabkan mutasi malignant. Heh. Mengarut lagi.

Mengenai awek ataupun girlfrien ataupun soulmate ataupun apa apa sahaja ingin korang panggil kepada si dia yang istimewa, hari ini kelas dissection aku adalah paling terbaik. Why u asked me? Hari nie tidak dapat any ASSIGNMENT!! AJAIB ok! Kemudian, kami tidak dipanggil untuk disoal bertubi seperti hari hari lain. Makin banyak benda yang dipelajari, makin banyak benda yang tercicir oleh objek bernama otak ini.

Ok, kembali ke topik asal. Mamat mamat tempeh dekat group aku adalah dari golongan golongan yang kool and pretty eager to know about Malaysia and whats happening to our beloved country. So, aku yang sememangnya jujur dalam perbualan mahupun dalam komunikasi dua arah, mula melontarkan perkara perkara mengenai Malaysia. Pasal itu, ini, yang baik, yang buruk, dan yang pelik.

Pasal perkara buruk tu bukan la niat aku nak mengutuk Malaysia, but aku lebeh suke honest. It depends on our leaders what to decide and to do to make Malaysia the greatest nation ever known. Agak ambitious di situ. Then, masuklah mengenai wanita. Starting, one of them started asking hows the chicks there. CHICKS? Huhu. Ntahla. Aku tidak pernah sesekali menggelarkan perempuan Malaysia as chicks. Then, it started. Haha.

Salah seorang tempe tu berkater, "Okay okay. Lets change the topic. How to make us forget the f*cking b*tch, ex girlfriend i mean, that cheated on us?"

Pang!

Aku raser kene lempang disitu. They are just on 17s, *haha xwujud la 17s~*, talking this kind of crap. Aku terasa sket. And seriously aku xpernah predict this kind of question came out from the mouth of a tempeh. Bernas jugak dierorg nie, aku memang kagum. Aku raser group aku la paling kurang nerd. Serious, semuanye gila gila. Ala ala ujang, Usop santorian pown ader.

Kelas tamat. Masa melangkah keluar, seorang mamat tempeh bernama Aiman, ye, bagi aku dier hensem dengan care tersendiri and dier Muslim. AND DIER maen bola. HAHA. Tiada cricket ok!

"YO, Shafiq, i heard u were saying about how to forget em."

"Forget who?" kinda blur.

"Owh never mind then."

Seblum satu langkah dier amik lari dari aku, ak pown tap bahu dier.

"Your ex? She dumped you?"

Then he started to do this weird face tapi macam ala ala puppy. Serius aku nak carut kat minah yang dump dier. Bodoh. Sebab dier hensem ngan care dier, and aku raser dier seorang yang lembut dan bersopan. Sebab, whenever he is talking to someone, dier gner perkataan elok elok jer. Heh.

And because he asked me, i started to talk about my so called experience of being dumped. And what did i do when i was suffering. Haha. Okay okay. Raser cam tengah kutuk diri sendiri jer. Maner der. Aku tengah happy sebenarnye. But still, past still ader. The scar. Heh.

Tapi xcerita banyak sebab lepas tu kiteorang ada hal masing masing. Ak cakap kat dier, " in Malaysia i have a friend and we always talk about this kind of thing till 1 in the morning in a cafe. And she is my neighbour. She helped me a lot. Wait actually she is my bestfriend."

Then he was like, "She?? Owh man. My mum wont let me go with chicks. That is Malaysia dude"

Pastu aku tolong gelak je la.

So dalam penutup post yang panjang ini, saya ingin mengatakan bebudak tempeh lelaki group saya sangat kool and acted like Malaysians.

This is sincere opinion. Heh.

Okay. Mesti banyak spelling mistakes and grammars. Sorry la beb. Aku malas nak check. Kene tido sekarang so esok aku dapat sahur and read everything that i targeted. Wish me luck.

Ambillah peluang untuk menatap gambar kiteorang raya. And gambar gambar ini adalah salah antara gambar paling kool aku pernah tengok. Haha.

arman, me, hao ming, nadhiah, fasyihah and padma

me n candid

Masih

2009-09-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

Tiada siapa yang tahu mengapa hari ini malang buatku.

Maseh kool.

Tiada siapa yang tahu jariku dilukai. Sepatutnya suntikan tetanus perlu diambil. Bisanya hanya Tuhan yang tahu.

Maseh kool.

Tiada siapa yang tahu betapa sakitnya jika dikecewakan oleh rakan rakan.

Maseh kool.

Tiada siapa yang tahu betapa sakitkan jika dimalukan pabila gagal menjawab soalan soalan anatomi.

Maseh kool.

Tiada siapa yang tahu betapa geramnya pabila dimaki dengan pensyarah.

Heh.

Hanya aku yang tahu betapa koolnya aku menyimpan everything, seorang diri dan masih berlagak harinya indah ibarat teletubbies mendapat pancake. Dan mampu memberi kekuatan kepada orang lain.

Tetapi, hanya Kau saja yang tahu mengapa hari ini aku xdapat memberi kekuatan itu.

Heh.

Hanya Tuhan saja yang tahu mengapa aku jadi begini, Being somebody that is not me. When i really wanted to say something that may settle everything, yet the coolness forbid me. Im starting to dislike this coolness.

Aku mendoakan hari orang lain lebih baik. Tidak mengapa jika hariku lebeh buruk dari semalam. Ill get thru with it...somehow. Heh~

Baru perasan, cam banyak cakap dalam BM lak. Pas nie nak campur. Manglish itu menarik~

Rambling

2009-09-06T09:20:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write something but then all the ideas that ive been summarised in the bus just now went missing. Plus, my brain went haywire. So let me do a lil bit rambling.

GI Joe is so cool. Kalau aku berumur seperti Nabil, maka tidak mustahil ak mendewa dewakan movie itu. Sebab sangat kool. Kalau dulu aku kecik kecik nak je aku cakap

"Abah! Nak satu? Pweeeshh~*

Till now, im amazed with Indian skill of driving. Be it a car or bus or even auto, they are way cool compare to Malaysian. Haha. Im being sarcastic. Just know, one tempeh sat beside me and started put his around me. And his hand grabbed the bar of the window of the bus. I was like

"What the heck?"

Are they gay or what? Last time i simply put my hand to a friends waist and he said it was. But just know, i just saw two guys walking together. Wait. They held hands together. Poop! What is that? Heh. I guess i nee to do some analysis what is to be considered gay and what is not.\

When watching at Bharat Mall, the GI Joe, there was an intermission. Like a break in middle of the movie. Haha. I was, what? Haha. But i do think its a good thing based on the experience where i cant hold my uretra when i was watching the 3 hour movie, Transformers Revenge of the Fallen. Huhu.

Tomorrows dissection class will be a hell one, yet i didnt read anything yet. Crap!

Oh. Why we have a secret? Is it necessary? I once heard that secret make us feel secure. Make us feel stronger. Make us feel unique. Dont worry, im not pointing anyone out. Im just saying why homosapiens do need to keep a secret? Well. I too have a secret. And i wish not to tell my secret till the day i died. Tomorrow i presume? Heh. Let Him decide. I wont object. To His hand i surrender my self.

I finished BOF (Boys Over Flowers) again. Its my third time if im not mistaken. Haha. Kater nak study. Tapi tetiber je raser cam down. So, better tengok cter. Ok. I need to study. Sigh~

Yosh!

Jumaat

2009-09-05T15:05:00.000-07:00

Aku sebenarnya tidak terkira berapa lama aku tidak memblog dengan menggunakan sepenuhnya bahasa ibunda. Maka, mari jadikan hari ini sebagai pemulaan untuk niat murni ini iaitu, menunjukkan betapa indahnya Bahasa Melayu.

Aku tahu, aku tidak hebat pabila cuba menggunakan bahasa ini. Dengan susunan ayat yang teruk, penggunaan kosa kata yang tidak pernah tepat penggunaanya, mungkin memalukan guru BM ku.

Tidak mengapa. Biarlah aku mencuba dan terus mencuba. Izinkan aku untuk meneruskan coretan elektronik ini.

*Haha. Elektronik? Haha*

Hari Jumaat yang lalu merupakan hari yang amat menarik. Penuh dengan kejadian yang tersurat serta tersirat. Sebagai permulaan, seorang Menteri telah terbunuh gara gara helikopter terhempas sehari sebelum itu. Maka cuti seluruh India sebagai menghormati kematiannya. Kolejku dipenuhi dengan guru guru yang berdedikasi,bmaka kelas masih diteruskan tetapi untuk separuh hari. Tepat pukul 12, seorang rakanku mula beramah mesra dengan aku, dengan adanya Yahoo Messenger yang canggih lagi hebat.

Pelbagai perkara yang dibincangkan. Dalam negara, luar negara, dalaman, hal hal persendirian. Segalanya diluahkan. Apa yang ku ketahui jawapannya, aku curahkan sedikit demi sedikit. Tapi, dalam banyak perkara yang kami perkatakan, timbul satu perasaan sedih menyelubungi hati ini. Terasa terlalu jauh dari keluarga. Terasa terlalu jauh dari objek objek kesayangannya, tidak kira yang bernyawa mahupun sebaliknya. Aku terasa sedih tetapi sikap aku yang sentiasa ambil sikap tidak peduli terhadap perkara perkara sebegini mula menguatkan aku kembali.

*Erti kata lain, kool*

Jam menunjukkan pukul 1. Hmm. Sudah tiba untuk kami bergerak ke masjid yang berdekatan dengan salah satu Kolej Perubatan Yeneopya. Maksimum 10 minit diperlukan untuk tiba ke masjid dengan berjalan kaki dan dipengaruhi dengan faktor faktor seperti rentak perjalanan aku dan teman sebilikku, Arman Husni Bin Baddirol Hisham dan bilangan anjing anjing di tepi jalan. Sebelum ke masjid, aku dapat merasakan sesuatu, tanpa aku berfikir panjang, ku capai payung hitam mini ku. Arman merasakan tiada hujan akan turun hari itu.

Namun, itu kehendak Tuhan Yang Maha Esa dan Maha Mengetahui. Tiba sahaja di depan pintu utama kolej, titisan air mula terasa. Hmm. Hatiku berdetik.

"Patutla aku capai payung tadi. Alhamdulillah"

Perjalanan diteruskan. Arman yang comel itu mula membuat muka kesiannya ibarat arnab dikurung dalam sangkar yang gelap dan kecil. Haha. Maaf ya Arman.

Tiba-lah klimaks kisah ini. Khutbah oleh khatib dalam Bahasa Arab sudah selesai. Maka, bilal mula melaungkan iqamat. Kerana tiada lagi tempat kosong di tingkat 1, 2, 3, dan 4 seperti biasa, seorang pembantu di masjid itu mengeluarkan tikar mengkuang yang berbau hapak dan dijadikan sejadah pada kami yang sedang berdiri diatas lantai yang basah dan penuh tanah merah.

Pada saat ini, hati aku sebak. Bukan kerana kekurangan. Tetapi KELEBIHAN yang diberi iaitu tikar tersebut. Hati terasa sayu namun sikap kool itu masih ditonjolkan. Kata hatiku,

"Mesti sudah berkali kali tikar ini digunakan oleh makmum makmum. Their belief is far more greater than us. But if Malaysian in this kind of situation, lots of whining could be heard. Sigh."

Lantas ku kosongkan fikiran dan mula mendekatkan diri kepada-Nya. Segala duniawi ku cuba tolakkan ketepi. Tiada lagi yang lebih penting. Namun aku diuji sekali lagi. Kerana hujan lebat sepanjang solat ku, air mula menitik. Disebabkan kebocoran di sana sini, air merata rata. Tetapi apa yang ingin ku kongsi sebenarnya ialah air yang menitik berdekatan dengan tempat ku menunaikan solat Jumaat.

Pada mulanya, air mula menitik berdekatan dengan ku, dan lama kelamaan titisan mula mengenai kepala ku. Tiba tiba, mata ku mula merembeskan air mata sebagaimana selalu berlaku pabila terdapat objek asing mengenai kornea mata.

Namun, aku tidak membenci titisan air itu. Tuhan mengujiku. Aku yakin. Walaupun perkara ini tidak-lah sebesar mana untuk diceritakan, aku mahu memberitahu pembaca, aku berasa amat bersyukur kerana titisan titisan itu mengenai aku. Aku menjadi bingung sebentar setelah selesai menunaikan solat Jumaat. Ku renung manusia manusia yang bergelar Muslim. Mereka hanya senyum setelah menunaikan solat. Dalam perjalanan, aku mula berfikir secara serius tentang kehidupan. Tentang hidup dan mati. Tentang masa depan yang tidak pasti.

Aku bingung mengapa kelenjar iar mataku berfungsi pada waktu itu. Hmm. Lalu aku mendapat satu kesimpulan. Aku merupakan insan biasa. Tuhan ingin menguji kita. Dan itu bergantung pada kita, bagaimana hendak melihat kejadian itu. Dari perspekstif yang bagaimana. Aku tahu. Ak ibarat membebel seperti motorbot. Tiada isi penting dalam karangan yang tidak berupa karangan ini. Tetapi aku hanya ingin meluahkan apa yang tersirat dalam hati untuk beberapa hari ini.

Itu sahaja.

Konklusi dalam kejadian ini telah kufikirkan sepanjang hari itu. Dan jawapan yang ku peroleh.

"Shafiq, 6 years. Dont give up yet. Everyone is waiting. Be strong"

Jawapan yang kutemui di dalam bilik mandi, sedikit sebanyak memberi kekuatan untuk mengharunginya untuk 6 tahun.

Or at least, till December. Hee~

BANG! allure~

2009-09-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

I promised before yet i broke it again. Anyway, im here now. Lets talk about Malaysia Independence Day. Shall we? Yea, i know. Im a lil bit too late. But hey, that doesnt stop me from loving Malaysia aite? Well actually im talking about the particular celebration in India.

Last week, on Friday to be exact, me and my college mates (guys) went to Bangalore for the celebration of Independence Day of Malaysia for all Malaysian who are studying in India. Penin x? Catch my drift? We had some complications with the warden, for letting us go to Mangalore City but after 30 minutes waiting and doing some phone calls, the green light was given by the so-called-caring warden. Ceh~

We waited for the bus. It was 5 pm. I knew what coming from the first step i took out of the hostel. I imagined the bus would be packed like tin sardine. Yes, and how delightful to see when that thought of mine is just true. Damn. But anyway, we paid 8 rupees equal to 60 cents for a 1 hour bus, quite cheap exactly. Haha. Indian bus is cool. They maintain their speed even theres a hole in front of em and a car or even another bus in front of em they maintain the speed and try to overtake them no matter what. Its cool, terrifying and full of action.

If you guys once used public transport such as KTM in Malaysia, if u were to stand just because theres no seat left, u still can maintain ur stance by holding the bar by one hand. But in an indian bus, its advisable not to do the same thing. Because its dangerous. Huhu. Jerked towards front and back and over and over again as if im doing poco2 inside the bus. Its dangerous but sure its FUN. Hee~

We went for our seniors house. Not as in same college but seniors in Mangalore itself. We went to the apartment and something shocked me. It really SHOCKED me let me tell you! The SMELL of asam pedas in INDIA sure make me outta my mind for a sec. It came from the end of the corridor as i was walking searching for his apartment. Fyi, like a dream came true. One of our senior made them. Yeay! I ate like a 6 years old boy that was having his first time meal after one full day of fasting. Nice~

That night, we took bus at went to Bangalore. We arrive about 6 am n went to Pian's junior's house. A student in IMSU of im not mistaken. Correct me if im wrong. And suddenly i got the feeling that Malel is at the same apartment residency. I try to call him. And again, my instinct was right. Cool! Meeting my friends in India is so cool. Its like a gathering or whatever you may call it.

Later in the afternoon, we checked in to the hotel provided. We were amaze of the suite. Its nice and comfy. Huhu. And got channel like ASTRO. Tetiber rindu ASTRO lak. Nak tengok EPL jer. Malam tu ader gamer Man U lawan Arsenal. Adeh, Arsenal kalah plak. Sedeyh betol ngan Diaby. Tp nk wat camner. Da lepas. Once a gunners always a gunners. Haha.

In the evening, the rest came. Let me repeat it again for those have heard about it. Yvonne said i was slimmer than before. W-What the heck? Really? Are you kidding me? I ate everything that i have. Kit kat and snickers. Heh. I suppose its a compliment. I could use some compliments to motivate me to do a lil bit of work out while fasting.

It was a happy day. Seeing everyone doing good, smiling, laughing sure made me forget that im in India. Yes. Then all of us went for shopping at MG road. We went but didnt buy anything. Heh. Well. Tgh kering gak senarnyer. Nanti2 la shopping. Windows shopping sudah~

That night, theres a lot of Malaysian student. And i saw my ex school mate. OMG! I was so happy. But then, i didnt talk to her that much in the past. But she was friendly. She greeted me first. Maybe she was undergoing rough time reaching puberty in standard 6? Becoming shy or whatsoever. But its cool to see her after long years. Haha. Nice. We didnt have the chance to have a nice long talk, but ill promise myself going Bangalore again to meet her and hanging around and shopping~ Huhu. Niat.

That night the hotel prepare food like Mutton Beriyani, Chicken Tikka, bla3. Got ice cream and bla2. It was a blast. I want to post all the pictures but it would be stupid to that. So simply click this link if u wanted to browse all the pictures that Jeno and i took at the dinner. I was happy.

Then after the dinner, we went for McD. Yes! Im not a McD hater, yet im not fond with McD, but i do miss it after leaving Malaysia for one month. Oh McD. But the bad thing is...

THERS NO BLOODY HELL RIBENA????

Oh, my heart ached. I guess i have to go back to Malaysia this December. Alasan2~ Huahua. Haha. Kalau perasan, kesian Yvonne. Terpakse hang out ngan lelaki2 malay. Huhu. Sebab yang laen chinese gurl ader date tersendiri. Bawak bf la katerkan. Huhu.

Next day, we went to Malels house this time and had a lil chit chat then went to Garuda Mall n Forum. Its like their kind of MidValley. Its not that bad. The Forum made me feel like in Malaysia at least. The tempehs look like us, Malaysians. Their styles, the shops, the peoples. Haha. Nice. Then we went back to Malel house and broke our fast with KFC. Thank you Malel. I appreciated it. I was crazy about not having KFC for one month. Huhu. Now im missing Carls Jr. Ceh~

That night, we went back by bus. Reached Mangalore about 7 30 am. It was raining. As soon we got off the bus, our bus for college arrived and wo hopped on it wothout second thought and without saying goodbye to our lovely seniors. Well im pretty sure we will end up meeting again especially this Aidilfitri.

We reached hostel about 845 am. It was raining. I was carrying 2 bags and a present from Jeno to someone *ehem2~* in my college. I dont mind helping him. He always there for me. Thanks man. Class starts at 9 am. We didnt study for dissection class thus we .... the class. Haha. We went for the practical in the evening though. We were exhausted thats for sure.

Wow. I finished writing it. I know ive left one or two something behind. Nevermind then. Ill be posting in another two or three days. Heh.

p/s: Im happy. Are you happy?

I ve done something wrong. I said to one of the tempehs that i have a girlfriend. What was that? *gasp!*

a promise

2009-08-27T12:04:00.000-07:00

i promise
therell be new post
ill post it tomorrow
for now, let me study

damn~

émotionnelle

2009-08-25T04:53:00.000-07:00

Today has made me tense. Tense because of the assignments, tense of the food, tense of having so little friends (quantity), tense of having difficulties in memorizing all the term, all the formulas, all the muscles and tendons.

*Well, actually im a bit lazy. Thats all. Sigh. Dont worry. I can till take it*

Why they could not understand me? Am i that alienated? Am i that weird? An alien am i? What happen today. I hate it. It started yesterday. And its still haunting me. I thought it would be ok the next day. I know. I have bipolar disease like Padma said, i dont know its an insult or a compliment, but i hate yesterday. I hate myself unable to keep myself cool. I hate myself of not having a step forward to my dream and instead i wandered to a place called FAILURE.

*Sumpah. Aku sendiri xtawu aper ak tulis*

Why can they understand me? The pain i endured so many seconds, minutes, hours and years. Sigh. Why? Am i that difficult? Am i? I hate even myself when i cant control myself from being jealous. Evrything. Why everything so difficult me? I remember that when i was a little, im gonna live as a simple man. A simple job and a simple way.

*Being doc is not simple eh~*

Jealousy taking over me. Everything. I fell this way to everyone. To him, to her, to them and even to it. What the heck is wrong with me? Why cant i find a solution to this problem? The cure? The medicine? The antibiotics? Oh God. Its aching.

Please, i dont know if i can handle it anymore. If i were to learn in Malaysia, i wont be this bad. I wont be feel this way. If u push me to the edge of the cliff, i without doubt will fall into the pit. Swallow by darkness and sadness. Man, i kinda talking crap for today.

Excuse me. Cool side is on now. No matter what happen ill try to get through this.

*Now i have doubt being a doctor*

Please, from now on, i dont care, Ill keep it by myself just like the past 2 months. The times up. And i wont regret this decision. Please, understand me.

Tag Curi

2009-08-23T11:27:00.000-07:00

Now, here's what you're supposed to do, and please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag whoever you want to answer this. Then see what happens.

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
: Nope. As long as she could my eyes feel ease~

2. Smart?
: I dont mind

3. Preferred age?
: Heh? Not in their 30s or above for now

4. Preferred height?
: Shorter or medium or not too high if shes higher than me

5. How about sense of humor?
: Depends, if she can me laugh and make me forget all twisted things in my life and she's 99% perfect

6. Accepts you for who you are?
: Its a must. I wont changed if i have the feeling 'i had to'. I just wanna change for her when i wanted to.

7. Color hair?
: Black is the new sexy as in TV says.

8. Mushy or no?
: Mushy? Mushroom ker? Wait. I google first... I do not understand completely, but maybe I would like it.

9. Thin or fat?
: I dont care that much. Neither too fat nor too thin?

10. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
: Mungkin sayer mahu brighter~

11. Long hair or short hair?
: Haha. Hmm. If i were to choose a free-hair girl, i would choose the short one. Kawaii~

12. Handsome or cute ?
: Eh? Perempuan leh handsome er? Ooo. Luper plak. Ader yang buleh jadi macho. Heh. Sayer prefer cute~

13. Smells good?
: Good as in KFC? Haha. Yes, it would be an advantage.

14. Smoker?
: I rather choose a non-smoker. But if im destined with that kind of girl, ill make sure she stop smoking when she has a baby. Its completely dangerous.

15. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
: What does it mean? Wait. Google activity~..Cant find it~ Wait i go ask someone... Haa. Yes, Its a big plus!

16. Plays piano?
: I want to learn piano. Huuu~ But if she good at it, maybe she could teach me? Haaa~

17. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
: Ill be impressed. Thats all.

18. Plays violin?
: Cool.

19. Sings very good?
: Haha. I dont mind. But if that good, it would be nice~

20. Vain?
: Haha. Dont care that much actually. Better care about me than her appearance.

21. With glasses?
: I like glasses. Did it answer your question?

22. With braces?
: I dont care. Soon or later, it will be off.

23. Shy type?
: Haha. More shy, more bully activity. Haha.

24. Rebel or good boy/girl?
: Haha. A lil bit of both.

25. Active or passive?
: Active? Used energy. Passive wont use energy. Heh. Both

26. Tight or bomb? * hot or sexy ?
: Isnt it the same?

27. Singer or dancer?
: Haha. I liked both.

28. stunner?
: Haha. Theres pros and cons having a gurl like that.

29. Hiphop?
: Im not into hip hop but i do listen to that kind of song eventually.

30. Earrings?
: Xkesah.

31. Dimples?
: Its cute.

32. Bookworm?
: Huhu. i hate book and worm. But not book worm.

33. Mr/Ms. love letter?
: Does this mean she ll be giving me letters? Its romantically cool. Especially at this age. Unique

34. Playful?
: Yes

35. Flirt?
: Haha. Its a no. But then, do i flirt? Ceh~

36. Poem writer?
: Im not into literature. But i guess its ok.

37. Serious?
: When the time comes.

38. Campus crush?
: Yes.

39. Painter?
: I dont hate em.

40. Religious?
: Yes please.

41. Someone who likes to tease people?
: Oh. Just for fun and there always a limitation.

42. Computer games geek? Or internet freak
: Haha. No freak. Just gamers or internet-ers~ Haha

43. Speaks 20 languages?
: Well. If she can communicate with me. Then its OK. Tapi, kalau dier buleh cakap Hindi, Kannada, Telegu, and Tamil, she would be a greaaaaaaat help~

44. Loyal or faithful?
: This is stupid. But both of course.

45. emotional or cool ?
: Well. It depends. I prefer emotional.

additional *
enter your crusher's name...
so that she/he will know wat u think bout him/her.
: ehem2~

I tagged 3 person. Nanti bebanyak pening.

aien
naqi
nadiah fatin

HEAD without LINES~

2009-08-19T12:45:00.000-07:00

I wanted to post something. But i dunno what to post actually.

Let me begin my post with a simple greeting.

Namasykar~

Hahaha. Serius xder keje. Da la byk mender kene bacer but still aku di depan laptop berfoya-foya dengan jayernyer. Heh. Nak wat camner, ak mmg bosan membacer buku. Kalau nak bacer buku pown, ak bacer buku-buku yang menarik seperti Young Bond Adventure dan etc. The latest book ive read is I AM MUSLIM.

Buku ini sangat menarik. For a young man who knew about Muslim nowadays, yes this book is considered one of a hell journey. Why did i say that? Menceritakan pasal gay, bebudak melayu makan khinzir, dengan setan pojaanyer seta byk lagi. The writer just showing us the things that we should see. Ntahla. Whomever reading this will affect him or her direct or indirectly. This book shows how Malaysians live as a Muslim. Maybe, mostly live in the same old way, but this book revealed the otherside community. The cruel side, one may say. Heh. Xtawula. 3 days in India is enough for me to finish this thin book out of boredom.Its interesting let me tell you that!

Kalau la pembaca perasan, haha, ayat macam nak skema tp xjadik, mostly aku nyer post penuh dengan spelling error, grammar, vocabulary, but hey, its my blog.

*Whatever man~*

Sayer mahu mengaku bahawa sayer cukup kool sampai ke hari nie. Kool ini membuahkan hasil agaknyer. Everything ive felt, i kept it.

Tightly.

Hahaha. Tetiber da hilang kool. Ym Amal td, kater teraser cam happy gler cam nak lompat, tp maseh kool. Still standing. Hahaha. Serius, post nie xder tujuan. Aku raser cam nak type jer tanper pk consequences like i always do before.

*it gave me headache sometime just because of the trouble i caused by doing posting spontaneously*

Anatomy merupakan subjek yang agak cipan pader muler, Berjuta maklumat perlu dihafal. And maser dissection, aku kurang menyerlah dengan bakat memotong otot-otot mayat. Sebab, tempe2 kat sini sumer nak bwat. Bg la dierorg bwat. Haih.

Ak da lamer nk letak lagu nie, tp sekarang br nak terbuat. Sbb petang td dgr lagu nie, cam sayu jer. Lyrics mmg da mantap. Teringat org kat mesia. Ecece. Sayer xgatal yer! Jap2. Aku xjumper maner laman web yang aku selalu pakai letak lagu. Aiyoo. Saper tawu? Tell me! Tell me! Tell me please!

**just updated. Yes! Sayer menjumpainyer!**

Anyway, ak da dgr lagu G-dragon baru-baru. Besh. Xsumer la. Tp aku raser dengar banyak-banyak kali nnt besh jugak. Huhu. video clip bg lagu Heartbreaker dier sangat hebat. Serius. Ak xtawu naper. TP SUMPAH CREATIVE gler iguana! Haha. Peace. Tp aku cam prefer new album MC Mong, sbb bg aku, all of his new songs are catchy and really good. No doubt!

p/s:Nak pose da. Aku ader pasang niat nk bukak pose dengan kawan-kawan ak kat Mesia. Maybe another 5 years. Heh. Kejap jer. Itll be a blink. Heh.

*really? who knows? ill just keep getting stronger*

Effin'

2009-08-14T14:39:00.000-07:00

Owh man. I've failed. I used the word. Tidak!!

I'm a loser.

whiner